


Place of power

by garden_of_stars



Series: A Garden of Stars [5]
Category: Mystic Messenger
Genre: Anal Sex, Light BDSM, M/M, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Psychic Bond, Sex Shop, Shopping Trip, Sibling Incest, Sibling Love, saeyoung gets a collar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-06-08 21:51:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 50,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15252786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garden_of_stars/pseuds/garden_of_stars
Summary: The twins decide to buy new outfits for the upcoming RFA party, and in the process wind up visiting a sex shop and purchasing a lot more than just suits.Eventually leads to some BDSM-style play for the two of them... and they learn another small mystery about themselves.Smut starts in Chapter 4 (a little at the end of Chapter 3) and goes through to the end of Chapter 6. Then there's some aftercare and sweetness chapters~This whole story continues directly on from the previous fics in this series. Read those to find out how the twins wound up dating!If incest ships in fiction make you uncomfortable, please, do not read this fic. The fic is based on RP transcripts written by two people!





	1. Violet tendencies

**Saeyoung**

The next RFA party is only two and a half weeks away.

Saeyoung casts his eyes over his wardrobe, and the couple outfits he's worn before.

Maybe it was time for to go shopping for something new. Money was well, well away from being a problem for them still, plus... he likes the idea of picking out something with Saeran. For them both to wear.

They might not be able to be open about their relationship, but wearing something they’d chosen together would feel nice, at least.

Although, as he thinks about their relationship…

Miyoung, the girl he’d befriended at Yoosung’s group date, will be there. He’s known… ever since they became friends, he’d need to eventually tell her his real identity… They hadn’t met in person since the date, but they’d texted on and off. He liked her. That’s why he’d invited her in the first place.

Telling her would be a little awkward, but it’d probably need to be soon. If she found out at the party, that could go… badly. Especially given how she had been picking up on the chemistry between himself and Saeran.

Another thing to consider, if Saeran and he both appear in public together… their father was an ever-looming threat... particularly as he's only gone from strength to strength politically over the last few years. He’s ignored them so far. But it wouldn't be wise to give him any reason to pay attention to them.

So maybe it _would_ be a better idea to go as ‘Lulu’…

Uncertain, he finds with Saeran, who was spending time pruning a few withered leaves from the small pot plant garden he'd created under the bright skylights in their garage.

"So… what do you think?"

**Saeran**

"Hmm..." Saeran hums in consideration, snipping off a few more leaves. He'll need to repot the succulents soon... they thrived in the garage, much more than the other plants.

Much like humans, some did better keeping indoors, while others struggled even if given all the comforts they could get.

"It'd be nice if we had some space outside," he muses to himself as he thinks about Saeyoung's question. Far more plants would thrive if he could offer them multiple conditions…

"Ah, as for the party..." Placing the clippers down on the table set-up for him, Saeran turns to Saeyoung and cocks his head.

"Wouldn't it be better to out yourself to Miyoung sooner rather than later?"

It was going to get way too complicated otherwise. Saeran can already imagine the difficulty in explaining their relationship as it is.

"And one of us could just stay in charge of tech rather than socialize.” That way, they won’t draw nearly as much attention to themselves.

Though… Saeran isn't sure how he feels about that option.

He does want to participate. He'd invited an ice cream vendor he'd become familiar with, and helping organize the party with the RFA has been fun. It'd be a waste not to enjoy it with them.

Most of all, not enjoying it with Saeyoung... seems truly unfair. Even if they can’t treat each other as lovers, he wants to be at his side as a brother.

"...it's risky, but it'd be nice if you could be yourself," he admits, turning back to his plants. Brushing fingers against the petals of a purple violet, before plucking it. Turning back to Saeyoung, he tucks the flower into his hair. It looks good contrasted with red.

**Saeyoung**

"I'd rather... go there with you as myself, too..." Saeyoung begins, smiling and reaching out to touch Saeran’s cheek lightly, as his twin admires his handiwork with the violet.

“It’s not without risk, but on the other hand, it’s been a while since we reunited and he hasn’t acted against us…”

Of course, there’s no need to specify who ‘he’ is.

He lets his hand trail from Saeran’s cheek to his arm, then lightly hooks his fingertips under Saeran’s slightly soil-dusted ones. “And even if I went as a woman, it’s not like that’d let me kiss you, anyway, so the appeal isn’t that strong.”

He tilts his head to one side, like he’s modelling the flower for something. “I admit, I think I mostly just wanna go shopping with you again… last time was fun.”

The two stars in his ear catch the light, as if on cue.

**Saeran**

Saeran squeezes his twin's hand gently.

"... I feel that if he was going to act, he would have done it when he was about to become prime minister."

Certainly, Rika had a plan for if he did try to hunt Saeran down. It wasn't one Saeran had been entirely comfortable with, but he had been prepared to accept it.

The opportunity to torture his father had been tempting too.

Now, Saeran just wanted them to be left alone. It wasn't as if he or Saeyoung wanted anything to do with the man. Besides, like Saeyoung said. They were going to be venturing out of their little world of the bunker, where some of the simplest affections were forbidden to them. Saeyoung might as well dress as he usually would.

"Why don't we go shopping anyway? Crossdressing or not."

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung leans in to give Saeran a small kiss on the cheek he just stroked. “Is this afternoon good?”

It is.

///

They head out just after lunch. They’ll absolutely be eating at the party, so might as well make sure the clothes will fit nicely even on a full stomach. It’s Saeran’s turn to drive, so Saeyoung makes the most of the time he has left to stroke Saeran’s thigh as they go, to tide them both over until they can head home again.

Eventually, they reach a part of town that features several formal wear stores, a mixture of international designers and some interesting local brands. They’re bound to find something fun they could coordinate together.

A poster in the window of one store catches Saeyoung’s eye. He tugs at Saeran’s sleeve – a perfectly acceptable amount of contact – and flicks his eyes over to it. The guy modelling the clothing looks like an idol, but the flashy clothing, the hair and the way he’s posing reminds him strongly of posters for something else...

“Haha… if we wore that, everyone’d think someone invited two staff members from a host bar.”

**Saeran**

"You mean like Zen?" Saeran quips dryly. Saeyoung has a point though.

"Considering we're auctioning off dates and dances with him, it's not out of line."

MC had floated the idea of auctioning off other members too, but no decision had been made on that yet. Zen was the big draw.

**Saeyoung**

"Haha... yeah, good point," Saeyoung responds with a grin, admiring his reflection in the glass of the store window – mostly, he’s looking at the violet he’s still wearing in his hair.

He’s not going to take it out all day. Not when Saeran put it there.

Plus, it looks nice.

“If they ever wanna auction us off, we should go as a set. Like -“ he pauses, realising that Saeran probably is going to have no idea what he’s about to reference “…the twins in a manga I loved a lot in in college, heh.”

**Saeran**

It's cute how Saeyoung keeps admiring himself - or more accurately, the violet. Though it makes Saeran want to tease him about getting as bad as a certain other RFA member when it comes to his own reflection.

It also makes Saeran want to take his twin's hand and kiss him again. Unfortunately, that'd draw too much attention. Which was the last thing either of them wanted, particularly after the conversation about their father. Saeran had been extra paranoid in avoiding most streets with security cameras as a result.

Still, the urge distracts him for a moment. So Saeyoung mentioning a manga with twins completely flies over Saeran's head, too caught up in watching his own twin.

"... sorry, what?"

At least it can be passed off as having no idea what Saeyoung was talking about, which was also true.

**Saeyoung**

"Oh, the twins were supporting characters,” Saeyoung explains, warming to the topic. “But they played an important role in the story and I… well, there was a lot to relate to about them, haha. But they’d put on a ‘brotherly love’ performance like, _way_ more than I ever have with you in public, haha… although to me it felt like… at least one of them really _did_ …”

He drags his eyes away from the violet’s reflection to look at Saeran, realising he’s starting to ramble. But the look Saeran is giving him frustrated at all. Instead, it makes Saeyoung want nothing more to lean over to Saeran, and…

His cheeks colour.

“…it’s a fun story. I should play the animated version for you sometime… I’m curious about what you’d think…”

**Saeran**

"It sounds interesting." Saeran says honestly. It sounds to him like Saeyoung identified with them quite a bit, if he's going as far to recommend it.

The 'brotherly love' play sounds worth exploring further too...

There's just one thing.

"Neither of them dies, right?"

One of the big book series of their generation had included twins. And magic. And a dark lord. V had recommended it to Saeran, wanting to encourage him to strengthen his reading comprehension.

It had been a good idea. The book included everything Saeran had been looking for and was easy to read, and a great comfort in those moments he felt particularly lonely and needed to waste time at church before going home.

Then the book with the death came out, and...

Saeran had felt so hurt and betrayed. It stung especially hard, given he was still so early into his separation from Saeyoung. He’d never been able to bring himself to finish reading the series, after that character’s death.

From the look on his face, Saeyoung might have just had the same experience.

**Saeyoung**

“God, no,” Saeyoung begins with horror, “I can never ever read Barry Potter again thanks to –“

His eyes widen. “Oh god, I didn’t just spoil you did I, or -

did you…

read that…

too…?”

**Saeran**

Thought so. There had to be only so much twin death in media, right? It required a special brand of sadistic to write that.

"Yeah, when I attended church school, it was in the library."

... come to think of it, he hasn't talked a lot about that time either, has he? When it came to Saeran's past, almost all the focus went to what he went through at Mint Eye. Despite the fact it was a relatively short chunk of his life.

It was just that traumatizing, it left an impression.

Like Barry Potter.

"It was popular... but I had to stop too."

**Saeyoung**

"I always used to wish we could have been sorted into the same house together," Saeyoung admits, "but now I never want to go to Bogwarts in my life. I cried so hard over those pages I thought _I_ was gonna die..."

"At least Game of Kings never did me dirty like that..."

**Saeran**

Preferring not to dwell on the details of deeply upsetting character deaths, Saeran is glad for the change of topic.

"Game of Kings? I heard of it, but never had time to watch it."

Almost all of Saeran's downtime in Mint Eye was spent in the garden, or on 'research'. Research being studying, and if he was lucky it'd involve playing games Rika had told him to get a feel for. Which wasn't bad, but did leave his knowledge of pop culture relatively limited.

Even now, he liked to use his free time to move, rather than watch things. Like now. Saeran was a lot like the flowers in their garage. Comfortable in a single place most of the time, but needing fresh air, the sun on his face. Being cooped up too long left him antsy, even if he had plenty to do.

As Saeyoung is about it reply, he moves towards the shop door. Indicating they can talk _and_ shop.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung takes the hint, and wants to take a hand, too, but instead lets his own reach up to fiddle with his earring.

The two sales assistants' heads swivel to look at them both as they walk in, though the store seems quite popular today, so they aren't immediately swarmed.

As for Game of Kings…

(Reminds me of that mission I did, a few years ago… wonder if Saeran ever saw _that_ photo?)

"It's interesting... lots of drama... lots of death... lots of sex... also dragons... and the twins haven't died yet so I'm still on board for now..."

**Saeran**

"Seems intense."

Saeran might like fantasy, but he was a little burned out on huge dramas. Still, it sounded promising. Just... "Let's go with your initial suggestion first. Who knows? It might inspire us for the party."

Speaking of which, he's idly thumbing through some jackets. Just checking out their designs for anything that catches his eye.

**Saeyoung**

Eyeing their options, Saeyoung ponders out loud...

"Hmmm... are there any colors that are off the table for you? Or is it more the overall aesthetic that you care about? I know things I think would suit you... to me... when I see them... but I'm curious."

Saeyoung tends to go for slightly vintage looks... Whether it's a nod to a 70s spy film or a more colorful take on an Edwardian jacket, he definitely likes things that look just a little retro - though in the end he could have fun in anything.

Although... "I really like wearing waistcoats to things like this... that's probably my favorite element... they're always flattering..."

Saeyoung has a nice waist. So, of course, he tends to pick things that’ll highlight it, cinching in to show off.

**Saeran**

Meanwhile, Saeran definitely had a more modern fashion sense, with unique twists. He's worn vintage-esque clothing before, but it wasn't by his choice. Nevertheless, you couldn't go wrong with a sharp suit and nice contrast or an interesting decal.

"I did have an idea..." A variation on one of his old suits he once put together for Christmas, which was a compromise between Rika's desire for brightness and Saeran's own fashion sense. "So I was looking for something similar."

But if Saeyoung had an opinion, he'd listen. Though a waistcoat reminds him of his favorite element from that Christmas outfit...

"Rather than a waistcoat, maybe a harness..."

You can't get more form fitting than that.

**Saeyoung**

He was able to say something else, but -

"Knghk."

His twin turns to him at the choked sound.

"A harness, huh?"

Saeyoung’s cheeks are definitely pink again.

He’s aware that harnesses are a fashion item, and not just worn to fetish balls and the like, but… imagining Saeran in a harness…

"I mean, I'm up for it…” he continues, tugging at the collar of his shirt, “but that's... people might faint... the room will sizzle, hahaha..." Saeyoung drops his hands to the clothing rack before him and picks up a silk shirt at random, so that his hands are busy.

Because if he doesn’t keep them busy, he’s going to snake them around Saeran's waist.

Saeran… in a harness… (and there’s so many kinds… chest, leg, arms… and…)

"It definitely... suits your style..."

**Saeran**

Saeran doesn't know how to deal with such compliments regularly, let alone in a public store. He certainly wasn't thinking about the implications of wearing such a thing until Saeyoung brought it up.

"... so... that's a yes on getting one?" He asks, cheeks just as pink. Though perhaps not the most appropriate party wear, Saeran's fairly certain he can make it work.

If only to watch his brother squirm.

**Saeyoung**

"I mean... so long as you're okay with all the swooning, sure..."

He's _so_ not giving Yoosung a lift to the party this time if Saeran does that.

"This kind of store probably has a couple, given it's pretty alternative... or you could make like a Penultimate Fantasy cosplayer and style your own... you wouldn't want it to clash too much with the materials in your..."

He stops, another shirt in his hands. "Um."

"You'll wear... the choker to the party too, right?"

Surely.

But... he wants to confirm, for some reason. Just...

(Just would feel good to hear it...)

**Saeran**

Saeran gives his brother a sidelong glance. He was getting pretty worked up... it was delightful.

"Of course."

As if he would be going without it. Saeran fully anticipates Saeyoung to wear his earring too.

"Did you want to pick something out for me to try?"

Might as well ask. Saeyoung did say he had some ideas, and since he was so enthusiastic Saeran was willing to try anything he picked out.

Still, since they were thinking of matching, it'd be good if there was a style that'd suit Saeyoung too...

"What's your preferences?"

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung refocuses on the mission.

"I mostly have ideas around colours... pairing pink vs blue, red vs navy, green vs mustard gold vs silver, black vs white... a slim fit around the thigh… a little looseness at the jacket, combined with the form-fitting aspect of the waistcoat, or, uh, harness… if we find some good colour combinations it would be a start...”

He looks around the store for inspiration.... As his eyes catch a few choice pieces, which he picks up one by one, he muses aloud.

"Hmmm... I like suspenders and braces and arm bands and such too... in the end those are barely a step from a harness..."

It's difficult to tell if he's considering one for himself or just trying to find ways to de-eroticise his thinking so he can focus on the other clothing. Although given all those items can be used in an erotic context too, it's maybe not the most effective approach.

The number of people in the store only seems to be increasing. But Saeyoung’s found a few promising items.

"There," he says, satisfied. "These might inspire us. Let's try them on... anything else grab you?"

**Saeran**

Shaking his head 'no', Saeran offers his arm to take whatever clothing Saeyoung is suggesting.

"I think it's a good idea to choose the colours and shirt fit first. The rest should be easy from there."

A pause. Actually...

"There's always testing out ties too."

**Saeyoung**

Saeran makes a good point, so they grab a few options: ties, bow ties _and_ cravats, and lug it all back to the change rooms.

They manage to get a decent sized change room to themselves, and lay out their bounty across the long cushioned benches within.

Saeyoung has selected a broad variety of cuts, colours and patterns, from subtle to loud, retro to cutting edge. Now it’s just a case of… how to combine everything to make a set that works for them both.

As Saeran lays out the last item in his hands, Saeyoung wraps his arms around his brother’s waist and nuzzles him from behind.

"I know it's a lot of choices, but let's just take our time, have fun, and see if any items capture our hearts~"

**Saeran**

There's a lot if choices and colours, and definitely some hard 'nos' – some items far too flashy.

(That's just like Saeyoung... never afraid to wear clothes as loud as his personality…)

Grateful for the touch at his waist, Saeran leans back into his brother’s arms as he considers the clothing. There is, of course, one or two items that immediately catch his attention, but he wants to compromise with Saeyoung's sense... somehow...

"I get the feeling aligning our tastes might be difficult." Saeran confesses, even with all the options they have. "Maybe if you wore something bright, and I could contrast that by wearing something darker?"

Although he thought he was willing to play with colour, Saeran still had some limits.

**Saeyoung**

"I think I've got a few ideas on what we can do, mixing and matching these options..." Saeyoung responds, kissing the back of Saeran's neck lightly before separating to assembling some potential combinations.

A… clear pattern starts to emerge where Saeyoung keeps adding purple to things, though. Saeran definitely catches his twin's glances in the mirror from the accessories to the violet in his hair.

What can you say, except: when it comes to Saeran, Saeyoung is easily charmed.

But his sudden fascination with purple isn’t just sweet - his quiet preference helps narrow their options faster than they might have otherwise, until they're both in flattering matching suits: one featuring a navy ribbon cravat against a deep rich purple shirt, and the other, a purple ribbon cravat against navy. They stand side by side looking into the mirror, and anyone looking at them would be hard pressed not to give a compliment.

**[Author's note - so, basically we picked out this suit, but with the colors as outlined above! Saeran's choker can kind get overlaid nicely with the cravat, we think! (Replacing the pretty metal clasp thing on his version of the cravat below)]**

**[As to who has which combo... purple shirt with navy cravat or navy shirt with purple cravat... I leave that HC up to youuuuuuuuuuu dear readers~]**

****

The outfits suit them.

And they look... really good together.

Saeyoung laces his fingers into Saeran's, smiling at their reflection.

**Saeran**

Somehow, the violet in Saeyoung's hair really makes his outfit too. It's a good thing they went with these colours, since they're so complimentary.

With a harness, or arm bands, or maybe even a waistcoat too...

It could really work. They could  customize the look individually, while still clearly being a match.

Saeran raises Saeyoung's hand to his mouth, kissing it as he locks eyes with his twin in the mirror.

"You look handsome."

**Saeyoung**

Watching Saeran kiss his hand in the mirror feels different to watching it happen directly. And the way Saeran looks at him...

(It's going to be one of those days, isn't it?) he thinks, cheeks reddening again.

"We look handsome," he agrees, after a short pause to find his voice again. Wanting more than anything to… well…

…these _are_ private changing rooms.

(I can be a little selfish... just for a moment.)

He keeps hold of Saeran's hand, but steps in front of him, so that Saeran can still see them both in the mirror. Then he turns his head to kiss Saeran's opposite cheek, lingering there a moment, before placing another on his brother’s jaw.

He murmurs, "I can already tell the party's gonna challenge me even more than the group date, when it comes to keeping my hands off you. But I welcome the challenge..."

He steps back, then, before he’s tempted to do anything else. They can't get carried away, but it's nice to flirt one last time before they go back into the public eye.

**Saeran**

They might be out of view now, but Saeran knows that there was no way anything more than a kiss was going to pass. Either a concerned shop employee would want to know what was taking them so long, or someone (probably Saeyoung) would be too loud...

And they'd ruin the suits.

But Saeyoung's lingering kiss, the way the mirror shows Saeran angles he'd never considered... and frankly, the way the suit hugged Saeyoung's back and waist and arms and -

It was incredibly tempting.

And certainly a challenge of some kind. It definitely makes Saeran want to escalate.

"Ah... why don't we buy these and go looking for a harness next?"

He knows that suggestion was practically taunting his brother.

As for where to get one... Saeran usually shopped online, but today, surely they could find one most easily at...

"We could get one at a sex shop."

**Saeyoung**

(It really _is_ going to be one of those days, huh?)

That said, being around his twin... every day is kinda one of those days.

It's just some of those days, he has to hold himself back a little more than others.

...it's a shame he has to let go of Saeran's hand so soon, but they can't change out of their clothing like this.

"Have you been to one before?" Saeyoung asks, carefully unbuttoning his pants and laying them aside into the "buy" pile. Asking his brother is partially a way to distract himself from thinking too hard about it, because if he does, his imagination is really going to run wild...

**Saeran**

Smiling a little mysteriously at Saeyoung's attempts to play it cool, Saeran begins to undress as well, shrugging off his jacket.

"Not really. I mainly got anything I needed off the web."

He _was_ curious about what one was really like.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung really wants to ask him what he bought, but it’s probably unwise. (Probably fashion items? Maybe restraints from... that part of his life? Although I feel like he'd be much more into DIY for that… wow, I should _really_ not think about this…)

"Right..." he continues vaguely, re-hanging his jacket and starting on the cravat and shirt buttons. "I mostly ordered online too, but I have been in one before... there's definitely some pretty seedy ones out there... but there should be at least once nicer chain around this area..."

**Saeran**

Saeran's slightly lagging behind Saeyoung in changing, but for the most part they're simultaneous. He's already putting his own pants back on.

"Let's check it out."

Unlike what Saeyoung is thinking, Saeran's not that familiar with kink gear. Mostly just the fashion. But considering Saeyoung's interest in toys and cosplay, it'll be worthwhile seeing how he acts in an... adult toy store.

First they need to make the purchase of their suits though. A good customer, Saeran starts sorting the clothes discarded once he's dressed.

**Saeyoung**

Before Saeyoung joins his twin to make Retail Hell just that little bit less painful for the shop assistants, he puts aside low-neckline, slim-fit vest for himself, colour coordinating perfectly with their chosen outfits.  Much like Saeran adding his own elements to personalise his half of the set, it just adds a little touch of Saeyoung-ness to the base outfit. Plus, it'll look classier if he ends up getting too hyper at the party and needs to throw the jacket off to vent some heat (Percentage chance of this: high).

The problem with waistcoats is a flattering one will always tend to bunch... less flatteringly, when you sit, but that's why you just. Don't sit. It's not like he won't have plenty to do at the party, as always.

As they finish re-hanging and sorting everything to take back out to the store, Saeyoung pauses a moment, and touches Saeran's shoulder.

"Nearly forgot!"

Saeran turns to look at him, and is rewarded with a light, brief kiss on the lips.

"Okay. Ready now," Saeyoung adds, eyes glinting.

Hopefully that'll keep him going through this next challenge...

**Saeran**

It only lasted a moment, but Saeran already wants more. It's crazy how wrapped up in each other they've become...

"...I'll get you back for that later.

It's a promise he very much intends to keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, I AM way too proud of the pun for this chapter title.


	2. If you like it then put at least eight leather straps on it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins browse sex shop wares and Saeran playfully bullies his twin into buying much more than they came in for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up this chapter contains several photos of harnesses and a stealth-dildo (i.e. it doesn't look like a dick) so if you're thinking of reading this in public maybe reconsider haha.

**Saeyoung**

The sex store is certainly a modern one – no sleazy posters and hidden doorways here. The entire shopfront is painted bright, friendly colours, and the display windows show pretty, frilly nightgowns, costumes and stockings. The store even has a mascot character, a cheerful-looking bee.

"Okay, then..." Saeyoung sucks in a breath, as they stand outside the entrance.

His faint apprehension turns to giggles when they enter, though, at the sound of two pre-recorded voices, one masculine and one feminine. In the most campy way possible, both voices croon: "Welcome, ohh~!" as the door closes behind the twins. Triggered by its opening, presumably.

The interior is large and bright, aisles of stock stretching out before them, each section well-labelled. The woman behind the counter flashes them a brief smile, but then turns back to a discussion with her male colleague, a beefy guy wearing bee antennae.

Not in an unfriendly way. But it makes sense that patrons of these places might prefer to not be mobbed as soon as they enter. It seems the twins will be able to explore on their own for a little while.

**Saeran**

It's, uh. It's something. Saeran didn't quite know what he was expecting, but it wasn't this. Not that it's bad! Just... different.

He doesn't know where to look.

Knowing his brother, Saeran hopes he doesn't strike up conversation with the employees. Maybe attempt to invite them to the RFA party. Particularly the man with bee antennae. How Saeyoung would explain it is beyond him, but Saeran has seen some of Saeyoung’s earlier ridiculous suggestions. It wouldn’t be the strangest.

(Focus... you're here for a harness.)

And to check things out.

And taunt his twin.

**Saeyoung**

Fortunately for Saeran, inviting the bee bloke to the party hasn't occurred to Saeyoung... yet.

He's too enchanted with something he's spotted in the distance, something he's seen online before, but to see it in the flesh...

(Well, that's where it's meant to go, at least… lol)

If he could have held Saeran's hand he'd have dragged him over there, but aware of their situation, he sidles up to it with slightly more subtlety.

(The legendary... rose dong...)

"It's even more pretty in person..." he says softly under his breath.

It's not what they came here for, so he just admires it for a minute in its glass case before - (I'd better go back to the mission or Saeran's gonna be -)

**Saeran**

As soon as Saeyoung wanders off, Saeran follows. Not wanting to be left to his own devices... (though there's certainly a few of those.)

For some reason, his twin seems completely enraptured by a certain case. To Saeran's eye, it looks like a standard rose glass sculpture. Pretty, but... What was it doing in a sex shop?

Then the shape of it registers.

( _Oh_ )

He's just coming to terms with it when Saeyoung murmurs how pretty is it... _in person_.

(...has he... wanted this a while?)

It was a definite possibility. Saeyoung had a big toy collection. Of which Saeran had only tried two, but... he’s seen how extensive it is. Saeyoung was going to run out of storage space for it all, soon. Or get rid of a few older things he hasn’t seemed to have touched in a while.

This doesn't seem to be as much of Saeyoung's taste as the rest. For one thing...

"Isn't it too delicate?"

**Saeyoung**

"Hahaha... oh, are you interested?" Saeyoung teases.

Maybe he's going to survive this shopping trip after all.

"Glass dildos like this are actually quite strong! And best of all, very easy to clean... I do have a couple glass items at home already, for that reason, although they do have some disadvantages, too…”

The weight of them, for one. They were great for temperature play, but depending on the design, some, like this one, could be a little tricky to keep in place.

 Still, very beautiful. “Not everyone wants to have something that looks like an actual dick in their house… many items like these are designed for art as much as pleasure... "

He winces. "Though the prices reflect that." Though, brightening: “I bet they have those lube containers designed to look like beautiful perfume bottles too…! Just like this one, they’re handy for people who want to hide the real function of their toys, and-" He catches himself, blushing slightly. "...ah. Sorry. I just get excited over the really well-designed stuff... we should head over to that area."

He gestures towards a section of the store with costumes and mirrors for trying on accessories, like the bee antennae.

For some reason, Saeyoung suspects he's going to feel more flustered there than when he’s surrounded by dildos and butt plugs.

The toys he can appreciate on their design alone, but the costumes and harnesses... picking out something for Saeran to wear is going to be challenging.

**Saeran**

The enthusiasm is cute and gets a smile from Saeran. More amused than anything else, but fond too.

And Saeyoung had a point. The rose _was_ well-designed.

"I don't mind looking at other stuff in here, if you want."

**Saeyoung**

"A-ah... well... I mean... we’re going to have to think about the harnesses eventually, so we might as well -"

He's rambling again. It's hard not to, when half his brain is currently already gearing up to imagine Saeran in -

"I mean... this stuff is all online... I can browse it any time… I-I'm fine... haha."

**Saeran**

It's a good thing Saeyoung's awkwardness could be played off as embarrassment about his kink in front of his brother, and not for what it really is.

And Saeran is, obviously, the wide-eyed twin going into a sex store for the first time and needs someone to hold his hand. Unfortunately, not literally.

It's worth it to share an illicit secret so publicly though, particularly when Saeran can read his brother's true emotions so easily.

"If you're sure..."

Giving Saeyoung a chance to refuse was also a part of the fun, and necessary for their act. This way strangers were less likely to cotton on to their true purposes, and it could be worthwhile to surprise Saeyoung with whatever he chooses to purchase.

It was up to him.

**Saeyoung**

(If only I could hold his hand...) Saeyoung thinks at about the same time.

He can’t help but push the boundaries a little. So, as he moves past his twin towards the costume section, he lets his fingers brush against Saeran's.

Neither staff member would have been able to see it… and it was barely a second of contact. But the thrill of it fills him with energy.

He practically saunters the rest of the way, like he's passed some invisible barrier unscathed. But then his eyes fall on some of the harnesses on display and he comes to a sudden stop.

(Don't think about him in -)

Yeah.

He's thinking about it all right.

Seeking distraction, he picks up a random item from a stand nearby, which turns out to be... a pair of rabbit ears.

**Saeran**

The slight touch sends a jolt through Saeran's arm. It was unreasonable how much influence his brother could have over him...

Though the bunny ears help take that down a notch, Saeran raising his eyebrows at them.

"Your furry is showing again." Saeran didn't actually have a problem with it, exactly. Animal features, like the bunny ear headband, could be cute and alluring. It just wasn't as much a thing for him as it was with Saeyoung.

Besides, he was here for the harnesses. Turning his attention to them, Saeran considers all options carefully.

A boob harness was too risque for a public event. And an ass harness was also a definite no. But there were tamer alternatives for the chest, and even the legs and arms which Saeran is tempted by...

It's funny. He doesn't like being confined or restrained, but there was a beauty to the ropes and leather. Something about wearing such things while not actually being restrained in any real way… felt good.

Psychologically, there was probably a lot about that which could be examined more deeply. Saeran isn't interested in doing that. He wants what he wants, and it's tiring to constantly analyze yourself and your choices. A thing that's become too common for him since he left Mint Eye. The relationship with Saeyoung didn't exactly help either.

But it was worth it.

Saeran's never felt more happy and comfortable in his life. Never before would he have imagined the impossibility of being in a sex store with his brother, who is also his lover, flaunting kink gear. And he loves that he can do that. That he finally got to a place in his life where he can be free.

Taking some of the boxes of harnesses off the shelves, Saeran turns to Saeyoung to show him the cover art and get his opinion. Not that he needed it, but it was nice to have.

Saeran liked being able to _have_ 'nice to haves'.

"What do you think of these?"

There's more of course, from varying complexity to simplicity. And a surprising amount of colour choice - red, brown, white and black being the most common.

"If you see any other stuff you like, point it out."

He's a little interested in what else Saeyoung might pick.

**Saeyoung**

Putting down the bunny ears, Saeyoung tries to think about the harnesses as pieces of art and not things he could, potentially, see against... his twin's skin...

"Haaah..." he exhales, looking down at the packages Saeran has picked out.

He taps on two of them. "I like this first one, it just... it'd uh... look really good on you..."

(Breathe... think about... the suits… how things would combine.)

Then he taps the leg harness. "This third one... also... would look really..."

(Hot. Juuuuust passable with the rest of the outfit as fashion and not outright fetish. Sexy. Erot... b r e a t h e)

"...nice," he says instead, weakly. "That shade, or the red... black if you want it to stay muted..."

He casts his eye around the displays.

(It's not like we can't buy something for the party and... maybe something else for home... it’d be nice to buy something for just the two of us, too.)

Motivated by his thought process, he scans the shelves in more detail.

"I think... these designs would work for you, too... and the outfit... and they've got a few shades for each..."

He looks up at Saeran, and something about meeting his eyes sets him right back to square one in the composure department.

(;;;;;;;;)

(I can’t handle looking at you when I’m thinking about you wearing _these_...)

He reaches out at random again, because that worked SO WELL last time, didn't it, and looks down to see...

(...)

He drops it back on the table, which is covered in an assortment of headbands and collars.

"Before you say anything, I didn't even know what I was grabbing. It came to _me_ ," he asserts, defiantly.

Well. As close to defiant as he can get while imagining kissing his lover in fetish gear...

**Saeran**

Saeran's eyes are sparkling with promise and curiosity. Taking note of all the designs, but most of all enjoying the shade of red his brother's face is turning.

It's even more entertaining when Saeyoung grabs that collar. It's also a blessing in disguise, reminding Saeran of an idea he had, not too long ago.

(Since we're here...)

"Maybe we should get it." Saeran suggests, serious in spite of the smirk on his lips, "And the ears... and the glass rose... they're all clearly calling to you."

Seeing Saeyoung with not just a collar, but the ears, being penetrated by the rose toy... a shiver goes up Saeran's spine.

Cheeks red, Saeran tries not to dwell on that image too much and instead considers the table. Trying to focus only on the aesthetic.

It used to be so easy before, why did it have to be so difficult now?

"But there's a few other options that might be better," he states, like a professional and not a lover. Saeran's had experience with this stuff after all, and it's better to keep sexiness out of it while in public.

Some he can even imagine wearing himself, maybe even with company, which helps a little.

"These two are cute..." Saeran murmurs, putting two potential collars aside.

Then one with a particularly interesting design catches his eye, a little more edgy than the rest, and with some clear control potential... it'd definitely be a collar for bed.

Saeran puts it aside too.

Of course, if they wanted a collar to keep the bell, there was a few other collars that worked that way too, in a range of colors. Then a collar with a different texture catches his eye. Picking it up, Saeran breathes out softly at its weight.

"It's steel..."

Restrictive. But maybe worth investigating more.

Placing it with the rest, Saeran turns his eyes back to his twin.

"Think about those." His words come out like a soft command.

(This store, these options... really are affecting me.)

Embarrassed, Saeran busies himself by returning to the original subject at hand: harnesses.

He narrows his options down to two that'd go well together with the suit.

The only issue now was picking a colour.

(Would red be too much?)

**Saeyoung**

The words that come out of Saeran's mouth... the way he says them...

...it's like he knocked all the wind out of Saeyoung's lungs with nothing but a feather.

He can't even breathe out, because there's nothing there.

(If I'm not totally red already I'm probably just gonna melt. No, I've gone so far that I'm just gonna sublimate.)

He may have become a cloud of super-heated 707-gas, but that doesn't mean he isn't going to obey.

(Fuck... I keep replaying his words over and over in my head...)

(Gotta get a grip... I can't lose it like this in public. But. FUCK, Saeran...) He focuses on the collars, because it's that or look at Saeran as he considers his harness colour options while CLEARLY getting a kick out of the fact that Saeyoung's soul is barely still connected to his vapour-cloud of a body.

...imagining wearing any of them...

…is sending all the blood to his groin.

He wouldn't be the first to get a hard-on in a sex shop, but he really, really doesn't want to be added to the list of people who have.

He might be more shameless than most people, but, even so. Even so!

So instead he stares blankly down at the table of collars, steadying himself with his hands on its edge.

For a moment it gives him a flashback of when he was at his low point after Saeran had taken his car on that joy ride... when Saeyoung had leaned over the kitchen bench in his maid outfit, distraught… but then Saeran had approached him, and...

(HALP)

Okay.

Bad train of thought. Very bad.

(I gotta… think about new messenger features I want to code. Or that other dating app I was thinking of making...)

He breathes in, slowly, and exhales even slower. Finally, he feels the immediate risk gone and can look at the collars again.

He really does like them all. His brother picked out some good ones...

The red ribbon seems like it’d suit both of them, which certainly appeals. Although if he bought two, that steel one... the idea of wearing something so heavy... his brother snapping it shut and getting him to do things that challenge his ability to keep his head upright...

(V-verification servers... backup servers... selfie-sorting algorithm...)

**Saeran**

Mostly oblivious to Saeyoung's struggle, Saeran's stuck making a tough choice. In the end it'll probably be best not to completely overwhelm their outfit with too many colours, but that still narrowed the choices down to black or white.

(I should see how Saeyoung is doing...)

Not well, apparently. To anyone else, he might look stressed and awkward. But Saeran knows what he sees.

Sidling up to his twin's side, Saeran pitches his voice low enough for him to hear.

"You haven't decided yet? How lazy."

Just a little bit... just a little play, to keep Saeyoung on his toes.

There _are_ a lot of choices though, and almost all of them pricey. Though it's not as if Saeyoung didn't have plenty of spending monet, which he claimed to have saved up just-in-case. The just-in-case being if he ever had to make a quick getaway at worst. Or for if he'd reunited with Saeran and needed to support them at best.

Sometimes it made Saeran feel like he was a burden. He had very little of his own when freed from Mint Eye. Though he'd picked up a few independent contracts offered by Jumin when the opportunity arose now and again. So, he had _some_ spending cash of his own, but certainly not the same amount.

Saeyoung had been awkward about Saeran earning the money, too, wanting his brother to live in comfort, without worrying about anything... he only conceded to Saeran taking on those contracts when Saeran made clear he felt like he needed something to do. Lack of action made him feel worthless.

Troubles aside, the circumstances give him an idea. Like this, wasn't Saeyoung... a sugar daddy, in a way?

 It's worth testing.

"You could make it up to me by buying whatever I want."

**Saeyoung**

Maybe it's just all these collars and animal ears, but when Saeran calls him lazy in that low, enticing voice, he gets the urge... to just... roll over...

Is this the revenge Saeran promised when they left the changeroom earlier? If so, he's really pulling out all the stops...

...or does he just like to watch Saeyoung squirm?

(...either way, I like him watching me squirm...)

Just as he's recovering from Saeran pushing one buttons, his twin then just slams his hand down on another one...

Showering Saeran with gifts… buying him whatever his twin desired…

Of course he wants to do it. Saeran so rarely ever asks him for anything. And Saeyoung is always forcing himself to hold back, knowing that showering his twin with affection can sometimes feel to Saeran like he’s babying his brother. And not in a fun way.

But he always wants to give Saeran so, so much more than his brother will accept.

"I want to..." he breathes, a little too honestly. (At least I kept my voice low.)

If anyone else had been within earshot, it wouldn't be that difficult to read the underlying thirst in the tone of his voice, even without context.

**Saeran**

Saeran's eyes darken at the response, and he casts his gaze back down to the collars.

"In that case... choose your top three collars. And I'll let you buy me one other harness... maybe two, if you're lucky. I'm feeling generous."

Then, his eyes do another sweep of the store. "And that rose cock... you really were salivating over it. Otherwise..."

There so many options, it's making Saeran dizzy again. He glances back down at the table, and picks up a cat ear headband, before putting it on with a raised eyebrow.

"What do you think?" He already knows, considering his brother's disposition towards cats.

It'd be fun to see what other toys and such are here as well... but first things first.

**Saeyoung**

Saeran's going hard, and Saeyoung is really, really struggling to not do that too. Though not in quite the same way.

He’s had years of training to keep himself under control, to separate himself from his emotions.

But he doesn’t want to use any of that around his lover. It might be difficult, but the suffering is worth it. The feelings are worth it. Showing Saeran just how weak Saeyoung is to him, is worth it.

But his brother's ability to continue to stay cool is admirable, too. (And sexy.)

Of course, there's no question that Saeran looks good in the cat ears.

Saeyoung absolutely cannot let it stop there, though. "A tail... they sell those too. We could get one…"

The most common tail butt plug tended to be horses, for some reason. Maybe because the long hair looked graceful against a naked thigh...

(Brain... focus...)

"You look good as a cat-boy, Saeran," he adds, regaining a little energy from the cuteness of those fluffy ears against his twin's hair. "Makes me want to stroke you."

He's grateful that they're the only ones in the store right now. At the front counter, the two staff are still chatting away, the diamantes on the buff guy's bobbing antennae glinting in the fluorescent lights. As long as Saeyoung keeps his voice down, he can pretty much say whatever he wants... Saeran's certainly been making the most of that.

He casts his eyes back to the table he's still leaning on... The red ribbon choker is a must. Absolutely

And... Saeran might be the one with the spiky-soft aesthetic, but wearing that interesting one with the tiny spikes and the hoops... would... be a little exciting...

And the steel collar... well. It had a lot of potential for some interesting submissive play... like if Saeran asked him to suck him off while carrying all that extra weight around his neck... feeling his brother's cock pressing against the pressure from the steel... down his throat...

He swallows. It's... even more difficult to focus in here than he had even imagined.

Saeran really was taking revenge bringing them here like this.

(I love it...)

"I think... these ones, then..." he adds, picking up the first two collars and then (oof) the third.

Good thing there's carry baskets at the end of each asile. He loads the collars into one, then looks back at the harnesses...

"One or two, huh...?"

He turns to look at the shelves again, and he can _feel_ Saeran's approach behind him.

He doesn’t touch Saeyoung. But the space between them is warm.

(Is he still wearing the ears?) He's not game to look. If he turns his head now, he could practically lean in and kiss...

(...god help me hold out until I can...)

Saeran seems happy with the two harnesses he's picked out for the party, which means the others could be as risqué as they liked...

"This... would go great with the red ribbon collar," Saeyoung suggests, picking out something absolutely-not-RFA-friendly.

**[Author’s note: this harness one is a bit too sexy to embed because there's A BUTT, so uh[here’s a link to it instead](https://postimg.cc/image/elzh0gzxp/). But imagine the material is red rather than black.]**

**Saeran**

"It’s perfect." Saeran says, very clearly admiring the choice. “That one should do.” Eliminating the option for Saeyoung to pick any additional harnesses. It's pretty pricey. Saeran doesn't want Saeyoung spending _too_ much on kink gear. That's why he worked limits into his requests. One bonus piece would be enough.

…although he’s struggling to keep his cool and stick to his own limits. But Saeran enjoyed the control, so he manages to balance it all somehow. When it comes to holding himself back, he’s had a lot of practice. It was ingrained into him by the cult, which was ironic when their elixir made him spin out of control in comparison.

That said... he adds a cat tail style butt plug to their basket, along with the ribbon harness.

**Saeyoung**

Now that he sees the pile of stuff they've amassed... all working so well together...

... it's exciting.

And not just in a "wow I'm kinda turned on" way.

In a... kid in a candy store kinda way.

(Yeah... this is kinda like upgrading a laptop or building a new computer...) Focusing on the fun of that, and the quality, the aesthetic.

He can get through this.

In fact, now he's practically bouncing on the spot.

Scratch that.

He _is_ bouncing on the spot.

"You picked a really good matching pair!" he adds, referring to the cat tail and ears. He spends a few moments rearranging ithings so that the more delicate items are safe from being slid on and bent by the steel collar.

He looks back up at Saeran, eyes sparkling. "Do you know what color you're going to go with for the party outfit pieces?"

**Saeran**

The bouncing on the spot is...

"Cute..." Saeran mutters to himself, unable to help it. Saeyoung left him utterly powerless sometimes, even when he was working so hard to keep it together.

He's just able to pull himself back together when Saeyoung looks up. "Ah, yeah... I thought I'd go with white. It'll brighten the outfit up and match the ribbon lining."

"Before we leave, is there anything else...? Aside from the glass rose." Saeyoung had mentioned something about lube before.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung's eyes widen... "You know... they probably have it... that bottle..."

And he's away.

Clearly the layout of each of this franchise's stores is pretty consistent, because Saeyoung makes a beeline to the lube section, barely having to orient himself at all.

"OH WOW!!!"

Apparently, the fancy perfume bottle style lube range has now increased to include a series of flavored ones in themed bottles.

Saeyoung is grinning at the banana one as the bee antennae guy seems to appear out of nowhere.

"Aah, good choice. That and the pineapple are the way to go. They don't taste artificial at all."

"Oooh... thanks for the recommendation!"

Yup. Saeyoung's definitely in candy store mode now.

"Going anywhere special?" the buff staff member asks, making conversation as Saeran joins them.

His eyes clearly flick between them, but he doesn't comment. It'd be unusual if he did, given the discretion inherent to these transactions.

Saeyoung answers easily. "We're going to a party in a couple weeks."

He's not wrong, though the staff member probably is thinking of a very different kind of party.

"In that case, if you're a fan of H2Ooh! you'll probably like these too."

Antennae-head points at a small section of various edibles on the shelves at the other end of this row.

"Just sing out if you want any other recs!"

The man heads back to the counter, while the other staff member starts unpacking and pricing stock from a box she’s brought out from a storeroom.

Saeyoung investigates the recommended shelf with interest. There's a lot of underwear...

**Saeran**

Saeran is somewhat stunned that the excuse... worked. He can understand _why_ , but for it to be so easily accepted... it's mind boggling.

Humans really could be such dirty and depraved creatures.

As if he could talk.

Diverting his attention to the same shelf as Saeyoung, he considers the flavors and underwear with interest, though he's not familiar with the brands. Saeyoung could pick the lube.

The underwear though...

They're clearly novelty, and possibly not even good quality. Money might be better spent on lingerie. Nevertheless, Saeran wants to try it.

There's a chocolate flavor thong which catches his eye, and he places it into their basket without a word.

**Saeyoung**

He's never tried any of these, but Saeyoung suspects he'd rather just buy actual syrup than the edible body paint... the ingredients list is mostly preservative.

He looks torn a moment, and then... practically sprints back to the lube section to drop a couple other bottles in. It's not like they won't use it, and there's a few he'd been meaning to buy online anyway... might as well get them now.

Also... the grape one was just really pretty.

He looks down at what he's gathered, re-joining Saeran.

"Hmm. I _think_ that's everything I wanna look at..." He looks back towards the pretty glass displays.

"Maybe we should leave that rose though - I already have a few glass things like it at home... and we got the tail..."

Unthinking, absently, he raises his hand to - (woah. Wait, no.)

He’d nearly taken Saeran’s hand in his own.

(Phew… I got too relaxed…)

**Saeran**

"No. We're getting it."

Saeran is going to be firm on the subject, not just because he wants it too - but because he saw that hand, and how Saeyoung ran off to purchase additional lube that honestly wasn't that necessary.

So he'll punish him where it hurts: his wallet. His brother really could be too materialistic for his own good.

Otherwise, not much else grabs Saeran's attention except for some novelty games. But they can always make their own, anyway. There's a few pills and such too, but he understandably isn't really interested in those. "I think I'm done too."

Famous last words, Saeran's eyes alight on novelty erotic candy hearts. They're... they're adorable, and funny, and probably tasty.

He wants them.

"... and these."

**Saeyoung**

"Hehehehe~" Saeyoung grins at the late addition to their stash. (He's sweeter...)

He’s enjoying getting bossed around. Although if it was anyone other than Saeran telling him what to do... he'd probably be bringing out his whiny tone by now.

But he'd rather save whining for when he can cling to Saeran while he's doing it... at home...

It’s definitely time to leave the store. He can’t take too much more of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm behind on replying to some comments, just struggling for time and headspace T_T BUT I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH.


	3. Secret love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins wrap up their purchases at the sex shop, take a short, sweet breather, then Saeran begins their game.

**Saeran**

Saeyoung pays for their sex shop purchases, the staff scanning and packing their items into discrete bags without so much as a raised eyebrow.

The twins are far from the strangest thing they’ve seen in here, just much is certain.

Stepping outside, Saeran takes a breath of fresh air and clears his head. He isn’t quite ready to go home yet, much as he’s looking forward to unpacking some of their new items…

There was something about being out that was just nice.

"Let's get a snack," he suggests, out of a desire to prolong things more than hunger.

Knowing as he does that the denial and drawing out their mutual agony was just as much a kink as all the rest. Though Saeran can tell Saeyoung's starting to get restless.

And if Saeran is being honest, he's a little worried... they might go too far tonight. He wants them both to be able to walk tomorrow for the date they have planned.

**Saeyoung**

(He's happier outside...)

The bunker didn’t really have anything that counted as an “outside”. You were either in the house, in the garage, or on the street. It was designed to be as secure as possible, not for satisfying any spiritual or personal needs.

(We should really look for a bigger place... anywhere he could have a garden... though, also somewhere that we can keep secure...)

The bunker was the first and only place he'd ever been able to sleep without fear, after he left Saeran.

Although, now that he has Saeran back... he could probably sleep well anywhere.

But. Moving would require a lot of planning. Something to think more on later.

"Okay," he agrees, "let's get those..."

He's of course talking about the waffles Saeran regularly makes an excuse to buy whenever they visit the city... not only are they delicious, but they have a wide variety of unusual ice cream flavors to choose from, too.

"And…”

Why not give Saeran some more sunlight, while he can?

“...let's eat them in the park."

It's only a couple minutes from the waffle place, and it's a beautiful afternoon...

Saeran agrees, and they’re soon sitting together on a park bench in dappled sunlight, each cradling their own dessert.

Saeyoung watches as his brother turns his face up towards the sky, so that the sunlight streaming between the leaves hits his skin, warming his face in the cool afternoon air.

(Just like a flower...)

The urge to kiss Saeran’s cheek is considerable. But, it’s probably for the best that he can’t. It would be a shame to block his twin’s face from this gentle sunlight. Even if it's with a kiss.

Instead, he just watches.

(Saeran… he's, so... )

"The ice-cream will melt..." his brother comments, face still turned to the sun.

Saeran already ate his ice cream while they walked... he didn't want to lose any to the sun. Now only the waffle remained.

"Maybe I'll just drink it," Saeyoung jokes, but he takes the hint, and starts on his own food.

**Saeran**

Time outside tempers their lust slightly - but only slightly. Still, it brings a peace both twins needed before one of them snapped and pounced on the other - which would be very bad if it was in the car.

The chill of the wind cools Saeran's cheeks, but the sun warms them up again... it's nice. There's no way he can't sense how Saeyoung is staring at him though. Saeran doesn't think there's much to look at, but...

It’s sweet. Maybe even sweeter than the remaining taste of waffles and ice cream in his mouth.

Moments like these were perfect, and Saeran wished they could last forever. If there was to be one improvement...

He knocks his knee against Saeyoung. Keeping that contact as his brother ate his waffle.

(Much better.)

When Saeyoung's finished, they can go home and do... other things. This break was exactly what Saeran needed. He’s enjoyed visiting the city, but after a while it gets too much. The small break in the park with his one and only love was exactly the energy source he’d needed, after the drain of the concrete streets and murmur of constant crowds.

**Saeyoung**

They head home, and as Saeyoung sprawls out on the couch, he begins to realise just how much the day has taken out of him. The violet in his hair looks much perkier than he does. While the park was refreshing, now that they’re home… his brain is a jumble of lustful thoughts... exhaustion from all that shopping...

While it's exciting to have all these new things to try, he also...

...needs some love and reassurance.

(Just warmth. Just him. Then, maybe I'll regain some HP... and MP... and we can try exploring this new dungeon filled with treasure together…)

"Saaaaeraaaan..." he whines softly as his twin approaches. "Cuddle me...?"

**Saeran**

Coincidentally, Saeran has the same plans. While there was certainly a lot to look forward to now they're home, it'll be nice to simply... hold each other again. It may have been only a few hours, but already Saeran is starved for his lover’s touch.

"How can I say no?" he murmurs. Nothing else demands their attention now – the night is their own. Saeran joins his brother on the couch, crawling along him and resting lightly on top of Saeyoung's sprawled body.

He sighs happily one they fit together.

"I missed this."

**Saeyoung**

His brother's weight across his own body somehow makes him feel so much lighter.

"I feel like I'm floating when you hold me like this..." Saeyoung strokes his twin’s back with one hand, the other moving to play a little with his hair.

With Saeran's chest pressed against his like this, their shared heartbeat feels even more prominent. Always measuring their lives, thumping softly at the back of his mind, even when he sleeps.

It's a comfort, and a relief, to finally be able to just accept and give affection again without eyes on them. And... he really... really...

"Kiss me...?"

**Saeran**

Seeing his brother so soft and sweet for him fills Saeran's heart with overflowing affection.

"I'll be happy to."

Lifting his head, Saeran presses a kiss to Saeyoung's jaw, then to the corner of his mouth, then finally full on the lips. Each gentle and loving. Bringing a hand up to join the gesture, he presses a finger lightly on his twin's jaw, briefly holding it before caressing up to Saeyoung's glasses and lifting them up slightly so he can draw little circles by his twin's eyes to help with any tiredness and stress.

"You did so well today..." he says, pressing another slow and tantalizing kiss to Saeyoung's lower lip.

Compliments and praise come much easier to Saeran now, and he can feel down to his soul that's what Saeyoung needs.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung squirms a little, beaming at his brother's indulgence.

"Did I...?" He reaches his other hand up to Saeran's hair now, tangling his fingers into it softly with the first, then letting the fingers of both hands stroke slowly from his scalp to his neck.

He lets small kisses fall where they may on Saeran's cheeks, pressing up against him so that there's as little space between them as possible.

"I took every chance I could to touch you..."

A small kiss.

"Even tiny risks..."

Another.

"I struggled so bad, looking at you... and thinking about you... and wanting you..."

A nuzzle, this time.

"I'm glad you think I did okay..."

**Saeran**

Saeran laughs a little, giddy from the attention and all of what Saeyoung says.

"I know. It was obvious to me..."

Playfully, he kisses Saeyoung's nose.

"It was fun. I wanted to tease you more, but it was difficult keeping it at the level it was."

**Saeyoung**

"Saaaaaeran-ahhh..." Saeyoung whines again, in stark contrast with his smile and his happy wriggling. "You're too good at it..."

He arches up into his twin. "I love it... I love... how I feel around you... and..."

He runs his hands back down Saeran's shoulders, then his waist. "I love how good it feels... to come home... and be with you like this again."

He squeezes Saeran gently with his arms and legs, enjoying their closeness. Making up for all that time he had to stay apart.

 "I'm so happy..."

**Saeran**

As comfortable as it is, it's also... getting too much...

"Me too..." Saeran whispers, before bringing their mouths together again for another kiss. Shifting a hand behind Saeyoung's head to tilt it just so, letting him press his mouth more firmly against Saeyoung's mouth. His entire body language changes into something slightly more aggressive as every part of him pushes down from his position on top of Saeyoung, a leg moving higher up his twin's thigh, a hand clutching at his shoulder. Remembering how pent up he’d felt over the day of being unable to hold Saeyoung close, and how he yearned for this… and more than this…

**Saeyoung**

He knew it wouldn't take very long before the two of them, comforted, touching, kissing... would start to escalate their contact further. Seeking release from the build-up of the afternoon.

But despite knowing this, Saeran's escalation still sends him spinning  inside, dizzy and full of desire to reciprocate. A need to push them deeper into this well of yearning that seems to never fully dry.

And his brother...

His increasingly assertive movements only remind Saeyoung of how he was in the sex shop... how quietly demanding he was...

He didn't realise just how crazy it could drive him to have his twin be like that.

(Though it makes sense... I love giving to him... so to have him ask... so confidently...)

Pinned, he writhes under his twin, accepting Saeran's touches gladly, allowing himself to be moved so that it's easier for his brother to push against his body and his mouth and his groin...

He accepts the kiss, and Saeran's tongue, and feels his warm fuzzy feelings morphing into something hotter and needier and very much more energetic.

**Saeran**

Sensing the mood change, Saeran indulges in capturing Saeyoung's tongue between his teeth and sucking on it provocatively. Laying claim to his entire mouth...

Before he pulls himself back and away from Saeyoung's touch.

They had plans. _He_ had plans. Smiling down at his brother with eyes that are dark and enticing, Saeran traces a finger down Saeyoung's neck, pressing lightly against the pulse.

"Are you up to playing some more?" As he purrs out the question, he pointedly grinds his clothed erection up against Saeyoung's. Enjoying his position of power over his twin very much.

**Saeyoung**

Against Saeran's finger, the quickening of Saeyoung's pulse is clear.

Against Saeran's body, the stiffening of his erection is just as obvious.

Saeyoung's gaze communicates volumes too, golden eyes shining with his barely contained need.

"Yes..." he breathes, taking in every detail of his twin's face with adoration.

"You're... all there is on my mind right now... I want to play... and have you fill my senses completely, Saeran..."

**Saeran**

"Good."

Saeran's voice carries a tone of authority, though his touch is still sweet and loving. Fingers curving back up Saeyoung's jaw, to his hair and plucking the violet out of it.

"Do you know what this means?"

**Saeyoung**

"Thoughts of love..." Saeyoung murmurs, watching Saeran's fingers intently.

He's glad he looked up the meaning on Noogle after his twin had gifted him with it in the garage.

Saeran rarely did anything like that without some deeper intention. His brother was enamoured with symbolism of all kinds.

**Saeran**

That gets a delighted little smile, and Saeran tucks the violet back into Saeyoung's hair.

"Close. You did your work."

However. You can't completely trust Noogle and the various meanings it can provide.

"But violets are known for being shy, modest... so..." The meaning is different. Because of course it is. "It means secret, or hidden love. I thought it was appropriate."

A private meaning just for him whenever he saw the flower in Saeyoung's hair... a small pleasure when Saeyoung clearly was enamoured with it... What flower could be better when they couldn't put their love on display?

"I have another flower just for you, too," Saeran continues conversationally, reminiscing somewhat, "And one for me... do you want to know those too?"

It's almost as if he's forgotten their position. Sarean hasn't, of course. While he enjoyed talking about flowers, this was calculated.

(Saeyoung will want to hear it, anyway... what a romantic.)

**Saeyoung**

"You did...? I'd love to know..."

Saeyoung is even happier he wore the violet out all day, now. And that he'd apparently pleased his twin.

He continues to watch Saeran's face and hands, enchanted. His twin was just as captivating a storyteller as Saeyoung, when he had something to say.

**Saeyoung**

That's the beat Saeran was waiting for. He's reeled Saeyoung in, and now...

"Really? You want to listen to me?" he asks, voice soft, so that Saeyoung needs to truly focus to hear it. "Then maybe I'll tell you... if you can prove what a good listener you are." Tilting his head, Saeran glances back towards Saeyoung's bedroom. Where they left the toys they brought today.

"Since you tried with the violet earlier, I can try to listen too. But since it wasn't entirely right, you can only ask me to listen to three specific things."

**Saeyoung**

Another game... they always were good at finding ways to play together.

It's just the games have grown decidedly more adult.

But, then again, so have they.

"Three things..."

3 and 7 are the numbers that appear the most in fairy tales... 4, or 13, if you're unlucky. "An information exchange, you mean?"

He grins. "Or three requests?

"Or if I moan three times. Are you gonna make me stay quiet after I use my quota?"

**Saeran**

"I was thinking of requests, but the other two ideas aren't bad either..." Saeran pauses, then shakes his head, "You gave three suggestions on purpose, didn't you?"

Trust Saeyoung to try and be clever.

"Three requests. And maybe that can include one of your suggestions."

**Saeyoung**

"How could you ever want me to be silent?" he jokes, both of them knowing full well that this was probably the number one thing anyone in the RFA ever requested of him.

Although if he thinks about it, trying to be soundless would certainly be interesting...

Well. Before he makes a call on that. He knows one thing he's keen to try as soon as he can.

"I'd… like to wear one of those chokers we bought... if that's okay with you." 

He adds the deference with intent, to show his willingness to play along with this interesting, intense side Saeran is showing him right now.

"I don't think it'd be fun to be quiet the whole time, but how about I keep my mouth shut unless you tell me I can speak... or make noise... or if you want to put something in it..."

He may not be able to obey this one, but that's part of the fun, right?

And it also means if Saeran wants him to talk dirty, he’ll have to ask... which Saeyoung would greatly enjoy.

And if his brother wants to hear his moans...

Something about being given permission to moan... might make moaning even more fun...

But, the third thing?

"Hmmm, and..."

His eyes are full of adoration and excitement as he starts his third request.

"You gotta praise me when I please you. I wanna hear about it when I make you happy "

**Saeran**

(So radiant...) Saeran thinks, completely taken with that expression. Unable he resist, he dips back down to kiss Saeyoung again briefly, before they begin the game in earnest.

 "It's a deal," he manages to say against his twin's lips, literally sealing them with a kiss. From now on, Saeyoung was going to have to obey him silently, until Saeran allowed otherwise. Somehow, it's hotter that Saeyoung made the request. Implying a willingness and trust in Saeran which no one else had ever given him.

Saeran swears to himself he'll honor those feelings. This was not Mint Eye. And he didn't want Saeyoung to be a mindless, worthless tool to only serve at his pleasure. They both deserved so much more than that.

But having Saeyoung unfailingly listen... that's always been a dream Saeran wanted to indulge in, even to an extreme. Breaking the kiss, Saeran replaces the lips at Saeyoung's mouth with a finger instead.

"Shh. Stay quiet and come with me to the bedroom. Let's find you a collar."

Of course, Saeyoung won't have any say in his preference. But it'll be interesting to see how he tries to communicate with his mouth shut.

Pulling himself completely off Saeyoung and the couch, he looks expectantly at his twin just starting to get up.

"Don't keep me waiting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. To quote a great internet sage, "I can't believe you've done this." How could I end the chapter here?
> 
> Well, the sex they're about to have is going to be pretty intense and probably at least a couple chapters, so. Consider this the warm-up. And I'll try to get the next chapter edited for posting on the weekend, so you won't have to wait too long ^^


	4. Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins start their play, and set the scene for Saeran's fervent domination of his brother.

**Saeyoung**

The loss of Saeran's touch on his body aches.

...well, there's still everything else to look forward to.

Saeran had looked so delighted.

(He looks so beautiful like that... that this can make him so happy... I'm glad we're trying it)

He mutely takes his twin's hand while holding his gaze.

(I trust you ...I love you.)

There's plenty he can say without sound. Maybe he'll be even better at saying it, without words to slow him down.

And he wants to listen to Saeran, too. Not just his words... but his body, his heart as well.

(I'll listen, so... say everything you want to say.)

He squeezes his twin's hand, full of love and anticipation.

**Saeran**

"You're so lovely," Saeran praises softly, and he doesn't have to think about it. The way Saeyoung looked at him, and took his hand... it touched his heart.

And while Saeran certainly could spend an inordinate amount of time just drowning himself in his lover's gaze... The way it made his heart race is enough to keep him on track.

"Come on."

Tugging Saeyoung towards the bedroom, it all feels very promising and exciting.

At least until again Saeran sees what a mess they've left it in.

(This... won't do.)

He had some standards. Sighing, he lets go of Saeyoung's hand. Something had to be done about this. Except it wasn't that fun to watch Saeyoung clean up, whether it was his order or no.

"I expect you to clean this up later." He tells his brother, breaking character for a moment, yet still commanding. For now...

They'll have to move locations.

The other obvious choice was his bedroom, which has lately been unused except for when Saeran wanted some quiet. Or going back to the lounge once they have the goods. Or...

(Oh. That might be interesting.) Smirking, Saeran's breaks out of his brief reveries and glances back to Saeyoung, who has been waiting patiently.

"I'll let you choose the collar, since you've been quietly waiting... strip and change in here. Come find me when you're done."

Turning, Saeran leaves. Pleased to hear no words of protest, though he knows even the slightest absence was difficult to bear.

It'll be worth it. Albeit not having to see Saeyoung's face as he walked out helped with the twinge of guilt.

Resolute, Saeran makes his way through the bunker. Specifically: To Saeyoung's workspace, where all his computers and extra junk was kept.

This place was messy too, but... in a way which marked the space entirely as Saeyoung's, littered with post-it notes and toy cars. Taking control here of all places...

The part of Saeran that will always be a hacker, the part that felt so inferior to Saeyoung and his skills for years, is utterly over the moon.

He sits down in his twin's desk chair and gives it a whirl, giggling lightly.

**Saeyoung**

It feels different, stripping alone.

Even while being aroused...

... he doesn't go too fast, so that Saeran has time to do... whatever he's doing.

He clearly has a plan.

Saeyoung briefly wonders whether he needs to stay silent even if Saeran's out of earshot, but decides that he does. It feels more in the spirit of things - following his twin's instructions even if he can't verify Saeyoung is doing so.

He winds up choosing the decorative collar with the hoop and spikes - the red ribbon, he wants to save for later when he can make more noise... and he really doesn't feel like lugging the heavier one to an unknown location.

Plus, he just looks...

He admires himself in the mirror briefly. It's not his usual style, but honestly, he could get used to it. Paired with his single earring...

...he looks almost...

...cool.

Just a bit.

Although being naked with a hard-on reduces that a little. Even with the muscle tone he has... It's hard to look cool when you're naked.

(Maybe with some black sunglasses...)

He has to force himself not to giggle at the mental image.

…time to find his brother.

He assumes his twin will have picked somewhere interesting, but he checks Saeran's bedroom first just to be sure. Nothing.

...when he realises where his twin is, he silently applauds.

That's Saeran for you.

He has style.

Saeyoung softly steps into the work room's glow.

**Saeran**

Saeran slowly spins around to look at Saeyoung, giving him a long once over and smile widening at the sight. The light of the computer screens seem to make his eyes shine eerily, which only adds to the atmosphere cultivated by this play.

"You found me fast."

It's a compliment. "I thought you might... you know, usually I don't care for hiding, but it was fun having you come seek me out... finding me here."

Saeran gestures around the room for emphasis, before extending that very same hand out to Saeyoung.

"Now, come closer."

**Saeyoung**

(He looks _so cool_!!!)

He desperately wants a photo of his twin like this.

(Maybe us together...)

If you're going to have a fancy hacking room, might as well take an opportunity to take a few eerie selfies, right?

(Later...)

His internal fangirling aside...

He approaches Saeran's outstretched hand silently, except for the slight, very subtle clink of the metal circles on his choker's pendant.

So far, so good.

He reaches out one hand to touch Saeran's fingertips lightly with his own, much like he had in the past... admiring how ethereal his twin looks in this light.

His own space, with Saeran at its heart.

**Saeran**

Saeyoung, naked except for the collar and earring, standing. Himself, clothed, sitting in the chair calling the shots. The thought alone drives Saeran wild, but for it to be reality...

He holds himself back a moment, simply to rubs this thumb softly along Saeyoung's knuckles. A brief intimacy, Saeyoung's obedience making his heart race.

"Yes, good. You're so well-behaved..."

A pause.

"But you know what would make this better?"

Then, he reaches up with his other hand to grab at the rings of Saeyoung's collar. Roughly, Saeran tugs his twin down to his knees. Finally letting himself get carried away. Just a bit. Saeran didn't want to completely lose control when the entire scene depended on him having it, and definitely didn't want to hurt his brother unnecessarily.

"Better." He declares, for himself as much as Saeyoung. (I wonder what he's thinking now...)

In the dim light, Saeyoung's face was almost inscrutable. And now, having Saeyoung in this position, Saeran is somewhat at a loss.

"What to do with you..." he wonders aloud. "I can see you're very eager to please." Putting aside the fact he was clearly obeying Saeran, there was no ignoring Saeyoung's erection, as naked as he was.

Leaning back in the chair and clearly putting on airs, Saeran settles into his role fully as the Master.

"Alright. Since you're being so nice..." And since Saeran liked to hear just what Saeyoung could come up with...

"I think you deserve to have some say."

Whatever it is, it'd certainly be better than hearing himself talk or the hum of the computer fans.

"What would you like to do first?"

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung had crumpled easily when the tug at his neck came. He was already in the mood to get in his knees... And he's happy to build on his twin's ideas.

"There's a lot of space under my desk," he responds, sweetly, obediently. "And a lot of files on my personal server. You're inside my heart and my brain now... why not snoop around a bit... and I can lick and pleasure you from under there," he adds, tilting his head towards the desk. "I went know what you're looking at, but you can always describe it to me... and if you don't like what I do, you can always delete something~"

With a couple rules.

"The only things off limit for deletion would be anything on the RFA server or any photos I have of you.

"Anything else, I'm willing to gamble. Go wild. I'll do my best to keep you happy."

**Saeran**

"Hmmm... no." Saeran decides fairly quickly, enjoying the power to deny Saeyoung just as much. "That sounds too much like hard work, while you get all the fun... you haven't earned the pleasure of my cock yet."

He knows very well that for Saeyoung to suck him off was a prize. And Saeran wasn't in the mood to sift through a computer's files, whether or not they were his brother's. That wasn't very sexy at all.

Nonetheless, the idea of Saeyoung sucking his dick off under a desk... was worth keeping in mind for later. Certainly, parts of the idea were worth exploring further.

"Tell you what. Bend over the desk and find some files you'd want me to see... or never wanted me to see. Bonus points if you can do that quietly, while I'm fingering your ass."

Flicking the ring of the collar, Saeran withdraws his hand and makes a dismissive gesture.

"Fetch the lube. Oh, and that rose cock you liked so much. I might find a use for it."

Somehow Saeran manages to sound cool and collected. It was getting hard to sit still, having gone stiff at Saeyoung's proposition. That was partly why he was having Saeyoung face away from him in this next round... to let Saeran keep up that illusion. It was a struggle, with how Saeyoung's skin looked so soft in the low light and the way the collar's ring gleamed.

(Why does he have to be so attractive...)

No. Shut up. Too dangerous.

(Think about the pleasure of having him expose himself to you instead, Saeran.)

... not helping.

Though it's undeniable that having his brother, his rival hacker, reveal all his secrets to Saeran out of willing submission... was very gratifying.

**Saeyoung**

(I really was just thinking about what would be fun for me, and what would be a risk for me...) Saeyoung ponders, as he kisses both of Saeran's knees before standing again. Saeran doesn't seem to mind. He seems to be completely dismissive about the whole thing, in fact.

(But, I can feel your heart beat, my one and only...)

(You're excited, too.)

He would have been upset if that hadn't been true.

It's fun to play, but in the end what he wants most from Saeran is to be close... to feel his twin's heart beat matching his own.

Sharing the same feeling.

He’s unable to not sneak a quick glance behind him as he leaves.

Saeran is still beautiful. No surprises there.

The light really does make him look stunning, especially the way it catches his eyes. People would probably point at him as the theatrical twin, but his brother has just as much a sense for it.

They shared a love of performance, of playfulness, of curiosity… it was just expressed differently.

His mind trails back to his earlier request, rejected by his twin.

It had, as Saeran pointed out, been focused on giving Saeyoung what he wanted. Saeran would get pleasure from it, but…

(It was very self-centred…)

(How often have I done things ‘for him’ that were really ‘for me’?)

 (...)

He’s making himself doubt. The exact opposite of what he should be doing right now.

He reaches the bedroom at this point, grabs some lube, and unboxes the rose, quickly going to wash it off in warm water - hygiene first.

Plus, it gives him a little more time to think on what he could show Saeran.

(Things I’d really like him to see… or would be prefer he didn’t see…)

He dries off the rose - it really is beautiful. And much slimmer than his other main glass toy - it won’t be difficult to take, and it’ll be a pleasing weight, too…

(He chose that room… because it’s like my control centre… but now he’s in control…)

So if he’s to give Saeran what he wants, it should be pieces of information that expose Saeyoung further…

Well, he’s done. There’s no more time. He’ll work out what to show Saeran on the fly. He doesn’t want to make Saeran wait alone in the dark any longer.

On Saeyoung’s return…

Saeran is still sitting like he was before… cool, gorgeous, and so…

(I just want to throw my arms around him and kiss him and tell him how much I…)

But that’s not how the game is played. So instead he walks softly to Saeran, this time kneeling at his feet immediately.

The lube he places on the floor by his knees, the glass rose…

… he offers up to Saeran like a knight offering his sword to a king. It’s a little silly, but it’s also the best way he can express his affection and willingness to play.

**Saeran**

With Saeyoung now gone from the room, Saeran is given a moment to compose himself before... Before what's coming next.

(Am I going too far...?)

That was always a worry. He's detached as part of the play, and it’s a necessity if he's to last, but... Saeran really yearns to gather his brother close and apologize over and over while kissing him senseless.

And he still _could_ , but having looked into this stuff further... That was called aftercare, wasn’t it? Once it became clear this was a kink the two of them shared Saeran was determined to do it right. That was why taking time to talk about the scene was important, even if framed in a sexy way.

True, it's not as if he and Saeyoung had a safe word. That was because Saeran would stop if told to - because as carried away as they might get, there was an implicit understanding that neither of them had much interest in noncon fantasies. Thus, no way to confuse the issue.

Just the thought of it makes Saeran shudder, and not in a good way. He doesn't want to get back into that loveless world... that cold mindset which scorned caring for anyone, even himself.

Which is why it helped that during this play, the focus was on rewarding his partner. Not degrading them. What punishment there was... was harmless teasing, like the way he trolled or bullied Saeyoung in good fun during everyday life, but… amplified.

(I hope I'm not just deluding myself.)

Studying the computer screens and rocking back in his chair as he waits, Saeran wonders if being in this kind of room is making him moody. Yes, it was definitely Saeyoung's space, but... the computers, the darkness... The feeling of being left alone, and how nobody would truly want him if they knew what he was really like...

It brought back memories, and a side of him he'd buried deep inside. Ironic, seeing as this softer version of him had once been buried just as deeply for similar enough reasons. Except this time he was accepting Saeyoung back into his life, not rejecting him.

Nevertheless, now he's confronting those baser urges and petty motives.

No matter how much he tried to forget, there was no denying Saeran still had them to a degree. That part of him didn't just disappear.

Facing them was probably a good thing, for him and his brother. A way to safely act out those emotions and desires. A chance to self-reflection and maybe even heal once it's over.

That didn't make it less tricky to deal with.

Little does Saeran know how much his twin is thinking along the same lines. Funnily enough, those hang ups dissipate once Saeran sees Saeyoung return. They're still there in the air, but... less heavy. Uplifted by how his brother is so beautiful and deferential, so different from what he was like with other people.

A sight meant only for him.

How Saeyoung kneels only drives the point home, and Saeran gets another thrill of pleasure at the sight. It's obviously an act, but even so... His brother bowing to him so reverently, Saeran his king... The one person he'd do anything for, unquestionably loyal.

Rather than take the rose immediately, Saeran reaches out and gently pets Saeyoung's hair. Loving how silky it felt between his fingers.

(It's gotten a better texture now he's learned to use the right conditioner.)

A fact helped by Saeran often taking showers with him.

"You came back." Saeran says, and there's a relief in his voice that he can't quite hide even though he knew there was no reason Saeyoung wouldn't stay away.

"With everything I asked... I'm happy."

Allowing himself one more pet, Saeran then takes the rose and twirls it slightly in his fingers, before tapping it to his mouth in thought. It's a deliberate display, but also indicative of how he's not ready to move on just yet. He has... a need to... "Okay... Stand up, and give me a kiss. You deserve it. Just..."

Just keep it long enough to enjoy it, but not too long that they forget to move onto the next stage. Saeran does want to see what Saeyoung's thought to show him.

"Remember, you have a job to do."

**Saeyoung**

The happiness he feels at Saeran's request makes him rest back on his haunches a moment, relief passing over his face the same way it had briefly touched his twin's voice.

He might not be able to do it as much as he wants, but being able to share a kiss... means a lot.

And Saeran wants it too, which is reassuring.

He pulls himself together to stand up again, and looks down at Saeran a moment, wondering at his composure yet again.

Wanting him far more than he can allow himself to have him. But that, at least, is a feeling Saeyoung is all too familiar with.

He leans down, bringing his lips to meet his twin's, and -

-  he reaches his hands to caress his cheeks.

Never controlling the angle of his twin's face, because that would change the dynamic - merely communicating his adoration through his touch.

Despite being the clothed one, Saeran's cheeks have grown a little cold. Saeyoung leaves his hands there, then, to warm them a little.

The kiss is carefully slow, sensual, but restrained at the same time. If he could do whatever he wanted, he'd be moving a lot faster. But he allows himself to focus on his tongue, and the taste, and on pleasing without escalating.

And on adding some warmth to his twin's cheeks. Although the kiss seems to be helping a little with that, too. (I hope he doesn't get too cold in here, not moving around... but he'll probably be fine now that he's going to be more active again).

Would it have annoyed his brother if he'd voiced his concerns about his comfort as he normally would have? Maybe. If Saeran did get uncomfortable, he could always fix the problem himself.

Another thing to think about, while he can't articulate his thoughts as he normally would.

**Saeran**

Saeyoung might be taking some liberties with the kiss, but Saeran lets it pass. Feeling Saeyoung's hand cup his face so carefully made his heart swell.

And Saeran is taking a liberty himself, giving more than promised - snaking a hand around Saeyoung's waist.

Slowly, he rubs the hands firmly up and down his twin's back, letting it warm Saeyoung's skin. It's a little chilly in here, and he isn't clothed.

(What kind of dom would I be if I didn't make sure my sub was taken care of?)

Of course, it's just an excuse to touch Saeyoung...

When the kiss starts to drag on (impossible, but there's no denying the time) Saeran's hand moves down to Saeyoung's ass and gives it a hard squeeze, just as he pulls back to nip at Saeyoung's lip.

Time to play.

"Well? Show me what you've got."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This exploration of their concerns is an important thing to us, to set up the rest of their play. Hope you guys aren't too disappointed that no dicks touch in this particular chapter, lol.
> 
> Still... too short on time to find the spoons reply to comments at this time but I LOVE YOU GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!


	5. Two minus one equals zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran makes Saeyoung beg for it. Also there's angsty teen poetry. Something for everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, there's quite a few references to canon established in the previous fic in this series, [The Only Medicine](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14768348). You may be left slightly "???" at times if you haven't read it.

**Saeyoung**

Part of him feels like he’s stepped into another reality, bending over his own workdesk, naked… as Saeran asks to see what he’s got.

What _hasn't_ Saeyoung got?

That said, in the time he spent walking back to the dimly lit hacking room, he’d decided on something to show his twin. Saeran already knew about his notebooks from their shared childhood, filled with coded longings.

What Saeran didn’t know, is the notebooks didn't end there... Saeyoung had continued to record his thoughts after he’d left. If anything, without his twin, his escape into fantasy had only become more extreme. The beginnings of the crafting of his 707 persona were all in those notes.

Reading back through them, you could even pinpoint the moment he’d truly begun wearing that smiling mask… one cold, lonely night… after a plane flight and a day of dodging satellites…

He'd long since destroyed the originals. Too risky to keep – the Agency would have destroyed them, if he hadn’t. But he'd never been able to fully let go. So he kept scans of the things he wanted to remember most, on a server totally isolated from the outside world. Not without risk, but Saeyoung was used to risks.

This one had been worth it. Somewhere he could remember his idle dreams, for when his depression really took hold of him and comfort was nowhere to be found.

It's his college notes... begun shortly after leaving Saeran.

He maximises the first image and starts moving through the collection.

(Saeran...)

Much like his childhood notebooks, to someone without context, the meaning was obscure.

But just like those older journals... surrounded by tiny doodles of stars... is his longing.

Here, a rough sketch of Saeran's face as it had been at 15, with his hair parted the way he did it back then, beside a string of IP addresses...

Already it's clear that Saeyoung had started to try to repress thinking about the full extent of his passion for his twin. No lewd references to raindrops here. But every word the accompanied his doodles and notes in the margins, coded or not, certainly read as romantic.

Then, halfway through a series of essay drafts on the Open Systems Interconnection model, there's page after page of tiny constellations, each connected with lines... cats, UFOs, fairies, and...

Of course, one was Saeran, and Saeyoung. Together. Surrounded by hearts.

The layout of stars is instantly recognisable from somewhere else.

The glow-in-the-dark stars Saeyoung has on his bedroom ceiling now. His twin had stared up at them many times, in recent weeks, but without these connecting lines he never would have realised...

...he was in the stars Saeyoung saw before sleeping every night.

**Saeran**

The sight of Saeyoung bent over his desk, naked and vulnerable, is more captivating to Saeran than the screen to begin with. He sits to the side, where he gets to admire his brother's profile and the way he cock hangs under his thighs as well.

Of course, this is all his to touch.

Saeran starts by caressing lightly down Saeyoung's spine, enjoying the unconscious shiver that causes, before his hand finds Saeyoung's ass again as promised. The flesh is firm, the result of Saeyoung continuing his Agency training exercises, even after leaving.

He's thought this before, but it's much like squeezing a stress ball.

Which gives Saeran an idea to move further down and give Saeyoung's balls a bit of a squeeze too. They feel very different - hot and cushiony. He's careful not to go too far, not wanting to hurt his twin, but enjoying the gasp that gesture elicits nonetheless. But Saeyoung is being _very_ good about not actually vocalizing any noise unless told to.

Content to massage them for a bit, partly due to how pressure on the balls staved off an orgasm while providing stimulation, Saeran bends down and briefly kisses Saeyoung's tailbone before finally looking up.

(Ah...)

(It's better than I imagined.)

(My heart...)

Saeran can feel its beat increasing, each thud getting stronger with every image. And the stars...

It's so sweet he could die. (Probably from a heart attack.)

But it also makes him hornier than ever, spurred on by Saeyoung's clear adoration bordering on obsession.

"So you did think of me... was I a star to you? Ah, it's okay, you can answer my questions."

He'd never thought of himself as a star before. Knowing how much they meant to Saeyoung though, it was a rush.

It's enough to prompt him to finally take the lube and cover his fingers with it - leaving the rose dildo in his lap for now.

His brother deserved something nice, for showing him this.

**Saeyoung**

His twin’s attentions challenge his ability to stay quiet, though they make him ache for more. Their previous lovemaking has generally resulted in them tangling themselves together enthusiastically, but now his brother’s touches are studied, controlled. Leaving Saeyoung needy.

It’s gratifying when the tone of Saeran’s voice implies he appreciates seeing the images…

“I thought… if you’re in the sky, then I could always look up at you… even if I couldn’t see you… like the stars in the daytime. You were still there, always. Just hidden by the sun. I had to imagine you were there…” Saeran begins to touch him again, and he lets himself moan just a little at the start of the rest of his answer. “A-aaahh… I drew them again and again… I wished I could send them to you, so we could both… and I… mmm... wanted my star to watch over you, too, even if the me on Earth was stuck far away… we could always be connected by the skies… on earth, and in space…”

**Saeran**

"That's beautiful." Saeran says, voice hushed with the feelings it gives him, "You have such a vivid imagination... thinking of all that really captures how incredible your mind is... and your heart."

It's not often either twin get praised for their brains outside of hacking. It makes his compliments all the more meaningful.

Of course...

Saeran circles fingers around the pucker of Saeyoung's ass, gliding lube around it, then gently in, only probing with the tips of two fingers.

"You body is pretty good too." Because there's no way this revelation and all the emotions it involves hasn't turned either twin on more. The sweetness of it was its charm.

More confident that Saeyoung's body can handle it, Saeran starts pressing his fingers in further, though still slow. Letting his brother adjust.

"That said..." He glances back up to the images. He can more or less understand them, but there's gaps in his knowledge. Things only Saeyoung knew. With time Saeran likely could decode it all, but...

(Why would I?)

"Translate for me."

Another command, albeit much softer.

**Saeyoung**

It's much harder not to groan when he has to speak at the same time.

It's also much harder not to groan as Saeran increases the pressure inside him, stimulating him agonisingly slowly.

He does his best. "H...haah... two parts to every riddle..." he starts, reading the page currently onscreen. It seems to be one of his circular, venting pieces of prose... written as a spiral of shapes and letters at the bottom of a page. It seems he stopped taking his actual class notes halfway, distracted by his venting.

He doesn't remember a lot of these nearly so well as the stars and doodles... college had been a lot to fit in his brain.

"Two answers to every question... a-ah..."

"Two thoughts for every action..."

"Two hands for protection..."

The further he reads around the spiral, the smaller the writing becomes.

"Heart for a heart. Life for a life. A... a death for a life."

"A..ah...Every day without you is death. Every day I'm just one, I'm..."

Maybe this one was a bad choice. His voice shakes a little, and not just from the touch.

"I'm nothing... I'm..."

He pauses.

"I... I don't know if you really want to hear the rest of what I wrote there..."

**Saeran**

Saeran can see why. The content... is depressing. The rawness of Saeyoung's heart while they were separated, literally torn into two.

He had felt much the same way.

And that's why it's so potent.

"No. Keep going." Saeran keeps his voice firm, but also warm. Loving.

"I want to hear what your emotions were... I want you to tell me everything you felt."

Nevertheless, Saeran sensed the tremors in Saeyoung's voice weren't just from pleasure.

That's okay. There was a way around that, inspired by the last time such memories were played out.

Saeran leans closer to Saeyoung, pressing his face up against the back of his shoulder and kissing there, then moving up to kiss right under Saeyoung's ear. Letting the stretch of motion force him to press his fingers further up Saeyoung's ass.

"And when you do... I want you... to focus on my touch, my smell... my everything. Remember this was everything to you, and that you're complete now, you're here with me."

Pressing another kiss to the earlobe, Saeran drags his mouth down to the spiked sex shop collar. Languidly, he lets his tongue trace the skin around the leather as Saeyoung seems to stutter to a brief halt.

Thankfully, that was anticipated. For any other couple, what he said could be rather plain, but knowing Saeyoung... it may be all too effective. Even more so if Saeran allowed himself to be possessive while doing it.

Which he very much wanted to be.

Inspired, Saeran shoves his fingers up as far as they can get, palm flat against Saeyoung's ass.

"Remember... you're with me. Serving me. Making me happy... Forever."

Then, all too sweetly:

"You got that?"

The contrast between loving and claiming Saeyoung wasn't that different at all for Saeran. Not right now, anyway.

Playfully, he bites the collar and tugs at it with his teeth. Prompting Saeyoung to respond.

**Saeyoung**

"Y-yeah... I got it," he gasps, adjusting to the full length of Saeran’s fingers.

The angsty prose had already gotten him a little worked up, not to mention the surreal nature of their current play. And then to hear Saeran step in to offer him protection from the memory... protection through complete devotion to his twin, forever.

He shudders.

It's all he's ever wanted. To give himself to Saeran, to be his forever...

It does place a different spin on his younger self's words. This death, this constant cycle of death he felt inside... eventually it would end. And all those deaths were worth it, for this life...

He starts again from the last line he spoke.

"I'm nothing. I'm hollow. There's nothing inside."

That, certainly, isn't true, given where Saeran currently has his hand.

"The numbers don't add up. 2 - 1 = 0"

"2 - 1 = 0"

"2 - 1 = 0"

"Only one answer. No matter how many times I ask it."

"It's the right answer, but I'm wrong."

"I want to..."

It hurts to read. Both out of shame at his self-absorbed, rambling words, and out of the feelings re-awakened, remembered.

"I want to die, if I can't ever see him again."

"Die once. 0 - 0 = 0. Die once, instead of every day for the rest of my life."

"But that's wrong, too. Nothing can't die. Nothing is nothing."

"Nothing can't be divided."

"If I'm nothing, it means you can be something."

"If I'm no one, you can be someone."

"But if my nothing ends, you might end."

"Better to die every day than you to die once."

"My one..."

"My one..."

"The only number that matters..."

"I'll be the zero... so you be the one..."

"Footsteps binary, heartbeats binary, stars binary, numbers binary."

"22222222222... uhm... the rest is just... a lot more '2's until they got too small to write... there's no code behind those... it's just... 2..."

**Saeran**

The poem is powerful. Not arousing, no, but powerful. The meaning making Saeran's heart squeeze.

Saeyoung's heart too...

With his spare hand, Saeran wraps it around Saeyoung and clutches at his twin's chest.

It's difficult to express in words how that makes him feel.

What he does know for certain is how it makes him all the more relieved that the two of them are now together, and one. For that, the poetry served its purpose.

"You're not nothing." Saeran murmurs against Saeyoung's neck, "You've always been my everything."

It's breaking character, just a bit.

Squeezing Saeyoung slightly, gradually easing his fingers out of his hole, Saeran places another kiss on his shoulder.

"I love you."

These are words which needed to be said, game or no. Feelings denied too long, which caused them both so much suffering. Yet... experiencing for himself the feelings Saeyoung had gone through, when they'd been split...

(We're the same... it hurt so bad...)

"You're so brave, reliving that pain just for me."

It makes Saeran need his brother now more than ever, hand curling down Saeyoung's thigh. (Patience...)

There was still so much more of this game to go. Giving in now would rob them of satisfaction.

Sliding his hand back up, Saeran grips Saeyoung's hip and twists him around, so that Saeyoung's ass is pressed up against the desk instead.

(His face...)

As fun as Saeyoung being bent over the desk had been, it didn't afford the best view of his brother's expressions. Saeran gazes up at it happily, taking every aspect of it in. Readjusting his hands to grip Saeyoung's hips as he does so.

(Beautiful.)

"But... let's not dwell on the past too long," he informs his brother wisely, smile turning wicked as he drags his eyes down Saeyoung's body. Resisting taking his twin then and there, keeping his hands firmly put.

"Tell me. What would you say you are now?"

**Saeyoung**

There are only two words in his heart.

"I'm yours."

He shifts slightly, enjoying the way Saeran's hands feel against his skin.

"I'm yours, before everything else."

It's partially said in the spirit of the game, the roles they're playing. But it's also how he feels. Healthy or not. It's truth.

**Saeran**

"That's right." Saeran affirms, thumbs rubbing into his twin's skin possessively, "You're mine. And..."

He leans in to lick to top of Saeyoung's erection, long and exaggerated.

"I'll..."

Next, he mouths over the head, clearly enjoying the taste.

"Take..."

But it's only once. Saeran moves off it to instead place a kiss at the base at Saeyoung's cock, kissing upwards which each subsequent word.

"All... you... give... me."

Finished, Saeran leans back again to take in Saeyoung's reaction, licking his lips as he does.

(A little pick-me-up).

**Saeyoung**

At the first lick, he goes weak a t the knees - but his twin's grip steady him.

At that agonisingly sweet moment where, so briefly, Saeran takes him into his mouth... he gasps for air.

And at his twin's teasing kisses up the length of his dick...

He bites his lip to hold back his moan.

(I want to give you everything... and I want you to take it from me without restraint...)

He knows in the past his desire to give had sometimes made Saeran feel coddled...

...this way, his brother can take of Saeyoung without that fear.

(Please... please do...)

But it's Saeran's voice that can speak, and Saeran's words he wants to give his full attention to.

So much as he wants to encourage, to beg, to groan...

He bites his lip, and stays silent.

**Saeran**

For a moment, Saeran is almost disappointed.

"Oh? You won't moan?"

... he really was trying his best. Here Saeran had hoped to make Saeyoung come undone, just a little.

Nevertheless, Saeran can't be too mad. He knows Saeyoung is keeping silent for him. Besides, he can always order Saeyoung to. That might be more effective in this game anyway, considering it was initially his twin's idea.

Gripping Saeyoung's cock, Saeran gives it a brief tug.

"Moan, Saeyoung," he commands, "I want to hear it."

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung pushes back, arching into  his twin's hand, allowing himself to groan at the feeling...

...but is that really enough?

**Saeran**

Saeran's heard better. But the thrill came from Saeyoung obeying him so easily and quickly, bringing the mood back to what it was at the start.

Humming thoughtfully, Saeran places another wet kiss on Saeyoung's head, before removing all touch completely.

"Needs improvement." Finally, he picks up the rose dildo, taking a moment to coat it liberally with lube.

"I think you can't fully appreciate what's happening just yet. So I'll give you a little more encouragement, while you work a little harder."

Casually, he pushes Saeyoung's legs wide. There's no hesitance involved in the motion, acting like he has a right to move Saeyoung's body around as he wishes.

(In this scenario, I do.)

Legs spread, Saeran gets a good view of Saeyoung's anus - wet and a little wide from his previous ministrations. Saeran allows himself to have some brief fun with it, tracing the head of the rose around the opening and watching it pucker before he slowly forces it in. Saeyoung's whole body trembles, particularly his thighs.

"Make sure you stay standing." Saeran's sure to say, concerned.

**Saeyoung**

The tension in his body is half the strain on his muscles. half the giddy feeling of being filled with that beautiful, gleaming object...

(Incomparable to Saeran, who is infinitely more beautiful... more desirable...)

But the glass dick is certainly pleasurable too. It's easy to know how far it's gone by each bulb...

But Saeran's worked him well, and his body accepts it with little sensation of friction... Only fullness.

He pants softly at its progression, tongue lolling out of his mouth.

Eyes half closed at the feeling, and the exposure his twin is putting him through right now.

**Saeran**

(I want to take him...)

Saeran's cock aches, as if it can feel Saeyoung's tightness around him rather than the restrictiveness of his clothes. It's a helpless feeling, one that makes him grapple for control.

"You look so lewd." Saeran coos, twisting the dildo. Not thrusting it. "But you can't come. Not until I let you."

It's a real danger, with the way Saeyoung is looking. The prolonged teasing clearly taking him closer to the edge.

"So pay attention. There's so much more for you to hear."

As fun as watching Saeyoung's eyes cloud with lust was... The whole premise was that Saeyoung was here to listen to his each and every word.

Though ironically, Saeran wanted to hear more from his twin... just not in the usual fashion.

"I want you to beg. Let me hear how much you need me right now."

**Saeyoung**

Saeran has never asked anything easier of his twin.

The air is still cool, but his body is growing warmer by the minute as his lover continues to play and tease.

The begging flows from his lips like the sweat beginning to trickle down his back. "Saeran, I can't think straight... I need you... I need your touch... I need your mouth... I need your voice in my ear..."

His own voice is needy, and  broken by ragged breaths.

"I need to feel you take every part of me for yourself... use me up... whatever you want... I want to give to you... take me... please... I'm losing my mind not being able to touch you..."

**Saeran**

Saeyoung's voice is like a song, sweet and varied and weaving a story Saeran absolutely wants to hear. Saeran hums with it, letting himself get lost in the pleasure of listening to Saeyoung plead for relief. Here. In the one place where Saeyoung had worked to keep so much from him.

There was no way he can keep acting unaffected. He knew that when he asked, fully aware how Saeyoung's words could heighten all his senses. Making the chance of Saeran denying Saeyoung all he asked very, very low.

That didn't mean he couldn't be clever about it.

"Enough." Saeran demands, pressing a hand to Saeyoung's lips for emphasis, before letting them fall away - purposefully dragging fingers down his twin's stomach as he does.

"I've heard enough... really, you're so demanding."

Shifting the chair back, Saeran leaves Saeyoung be. Instead he tugs at his shirt collar for dramatic effect, and sighs.

"... hah. Alright. After that performance..."

Saeran pauses, thinking how to best word this--usually he'd act arrogantly and above it all, but that isn't precisely the feeling either of them want. It was fun to incorporate a little of it, but this game specifically was founded on Saeyoung's need to spoil him to the point of subservience. No doubt going much further really would frustrate his brother. And Saeran did want it to be enjoyable for them both.

"...you really got me hot and bothered," he admits at last, letting some honestly bleed into their act. Exposing himself this way had proven to heighten their pleasure before.

"You need to take responsibility," Saeran continues, reinforcing his dominance despite the confession.

Lifting his eyes and purposefully making eye contact with Saeyoung, Saeran leans back in the chair invitingly.

"So, without removing the toy I've given you... that would be ungrateful... come and take my clothes off for me."

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung leans back, sweeping his eyes over his twin.

(Glad he's not wearing shoes...)

Laces would be... challenging... in his current state.

The shirt will also be a challenge because of his need to stand and use both his hands... the weight of the rose is a thorny problem.

How to do it... keeping the rose secure, and making it fun for Saeran.

(...ah)

He moves behind Saeran, positioning himself so that the desk helps him hold in the toy... then drapes his arms over the back of the chair, snaking down his twin's shoulders. Fingers taking every opportunity to brush against his twin as they go.

Then... (and this is just the car sex all over again... isn’t it…?) he gently tilts back the chair, so that he can lean down and -

(Ohh… his hair smells so good…)

\- safely, though barely, reach the hem of his brother's shirt.

Fingers curling underneath it and lifting, revelling in the warmth of the skin underneath...

As he pulls up the shirt, he grazes at Saeran’s skin with his fingernails. As his brother lifts his arms, Saeyoung finally removes the item of clothing, folding it neatly and placing it on his desk with respect.

You didn't just toss aside something you'd taken such efforts to remove.

And tossing aside something that belonged to Saeran seemed completely inappropriate.

Now he moves in front of Saeran, kneeling before him once more, in such a way that his feet helped secure the rose - though certainly there was a little discomfort in the angle. But nothing he couldn't handle.

Not when, before him...

Not for the first time, Saeyoung is reminded of angels...

(Handsome. Enchanting...)

(So _cool_ ) Saeyoung can't help but stare a few seconds, lips parted with both lust and adoration.

That Saeran wants him. Has expended so much effort to play like this. Saeran. So smart, so gorgeous, so full of depth...

He hopes even just a sliver of his wonder shows in his eyes.

Then his gazes galls to the zipper of Saeran's pants.

And Saeran's hard-on, trapped under the fabric.

He glides his hands up his twin's legs, letting his touch do the talking for him. All his yearning, all his worship, in the tips of his fingers.

Saeran generously accommodates Saeyoung by raising of his hips, and Saeyoung repeats his earlier actions with the shirt, letting his fingers drag down Saeran's legs again along with the pants.

Then, as before, he folds them neatly, reverently, and places them to the side.

The underwear...

He leans in, but so much more slowly than he did with the shirt or the pants... he slips his fingers under the band with such delicacy it's like he's defusing a bomb.

And he peels back, freeing his twin at last, unable to hide his pleasure at seeing his brother's cock bounce upright, finally freed.

He folds the underwear neatly once removed, and then, rather than touching Saeran more, as he's so desperate to do...

... he leans back, and looks up at his twin. Hands on his knees. Eyes full of love.

Ready for more instructions.

**Saeran**

Exposed to the room's chill and without the warmth of his brother's hands, Saeran has to force himself not to shiver. At least the temperature does help with how hot he'd gotten, allowing Saeran to cool his head slightly.

There were a few ways the game could go now. Lots of ways to play. But Saeran is captivated by Saeyoung's eyes, and the way he sits so nicely. Waiting for his next order.

(To think he could be this well-behaved...) Saeran is simultaneously astounded and impressed. He'd been purposefully making life hard for his brother. Yet here Saeyoung was, accomplishing all he was asked and more, under no small duress. Adoring and desperate to be used.

(Maybe I should do this more often and get some chores done.)

A small joke. All Saeran wanted to do now was drown in that gaze...

"I love how you look at me when you're turned on," he tells Saeyoung, still being honest with his praise, "I can tell by your eyes how much you've wanted to see me like this..."

Stretching, Saeran extends a leg and curls a toe around the collar ring. Tugging Saeyoung forward. "And so eager to please... on your best behaviour... I can see that, too."

Pausing for effect, Saeran pulls his toes back to smooth them down Saeyoung's chest, until they're dangerously close to his dick.

"I want to capture this moment forever. Go get my phone."

**Saeyoung**

Of course, the unspoken understanding is that he's going to have to make it there and back with the rose in place.

(At least the shape holds it in a little...)

Standing is going to be the trickiest part.

He also doesn't want to look away from Saeran as he does it. So he stands, carefully, slowly, keeping his eyes on his twin.

(I want him to know exactly how much he's on my mind)

Once he exits the room, he can lose a little dignity and secure the rose with a hand while he retrieves the phone.

At least it's a quick errand this time. Now that Saeran's not wearing anything...

... he wants to warm his twin as soon as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should be able to post the next chapter faster, as I have some time off work next week [vibrates intensely]
> 
> Here's the dialogue-free version of Saeyoung's teen angst poetry, if you were interested in reading it clean:
> 
> Two parts to every riddle.  
> Two answers to every question.  
> Two thoughts for every action.  
> Two hands for protection.
> 
> Heart for a heart. Life for a life. A death for a life.
> 
> Every day without you is death. 
> 
> Every day I'm just one, I'm nothing. I'm hollow. 
> 
> There's nothing inside.
> 
> The numbers don't add up:  
> 2 - 1 = 0  
> 2 - 1 = 0  
> 2 - 1 = 0  
> Only one answer. No matter how many times I ask it.  
> It's the right answer, but I'm wrong.
> 
> I want to die, if I can't ever see him again.
> 
> Die once.  
> 0 - 0 = 0.  
> Die once, instead of every day for the rest of my life.  
> But that's wrong, too. Nothing can't die. Nothing is nothing.  
> Nothing can't be divided.
> 
> If I'm nothing, it means you can be something.  
> If I'm no one, you can be someone.  
> But if my nothing ends, you might end.  
> Better to die every day than you to die once.
> 
> My one...  
> My one...  
> The only number that matters...  
> I'll be the zero... so you be the one...
> 
> Footsteps binary, heartbeats binary, stars binary, numbers binary.
> 
> 222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222


	6. Guardian angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung returns with Saeran's phone, as Saeran then records him doing a series of filthy things, both continuing to escalate their play until it gets so intense it breaks down another barrier between the two of them.
> 
> **The smut continues.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided not to break this scene into any more chunks as I just didn't want to put any more breaks in the action, but what this means is that this chapter is four times longer than the usual length I try to keep them to. This is probably the longest sex scene we've ever written and DAMN IS IT GOOD. ENJOY!!!

**Saeyoung**

As Saeran requested, Saeyoung retrieves his twin’s phone. It’s where Saeran left it in the loungeroom, and fully charged at this point.

Saeyoung's mind starts to go a little wild with the possibilities of what Saeran intends to do... so distracted at the thoughts he nearly lets the glass rose slip on his way back... he's just gotten used to the weight of it.

He takes a deep breath before re-entering the room, to clear his mind and make it totally available for his twin, thoughts only on him.

**Saeran**

The brief time apart lets Saeran ruminate on how best advance the scene. Most of this was on a whim, experimenting with how fun it could be and how far they could go. Except it also involved a lot more thought and care than anticipated, as not to cause unnecessary suffering.

For instance: Asking for his phone wasn't meant to test Saeyoung's limits further. That was just a side effect Saeran didn't entirely account for in the moment, swept away by the  stroke of genius he had.

Thankfully, Saeyoung was up to the task. Something Saeran files away. As he waits, Saeran glances at the computers. He already knew what to do next, but it would be a shame not to use this space to its maximum potential...

Thinking it over, Saeran misses Saeyoung re-entering the room until the soft patter of feet grabs his attention. Swinging around, Saeran takes in the sight of his brother... Already so debauched, if not somewhat more alert - eyes more focused than hazy with lust.

It makes Saeran smile. He'd already planned on what to say, but that doesn't make it false.

"Hello again, beautiful."

**Saeyoung**

A genuine, surprised smile appears on Saeyoung's face. Not surprised at the affection, just... it wasn't what he was expecting.

He's not sure _what_ he was expecting, though.

Of course, there's no question he's going to kneel again for his brother.

But this time rather than hold up the phone as he did the rose, he holds it like an extension of his right hand to mime blowing Saeran a kiss with it, before handing it over.

Just because he's being obedient doesn't mean he won’t flirt. Especially not when Saeran is just so... appealing.

**Saeran**

Utterly incorrigible. Saeran really should have expected it.

"I'm glad you're feeling shameless, because that's exactly what you need to be for this next part." He quips, opening his phone camera... Then the gallery, too. Smiling down at the screen as he swipes through it. When he find the photo he wants, Saeran turns the screen to show Saeyoung.

It’s immediately recognisable. Pictured is the photo Saeyoung asked Saeran to take the first time they did something like this. Saeyoung corned against a wall after showering, clearly aroused... "You begged me to dominate you then too," Saeran remarks, finally vocalizing exactly what's happening. There's something powerful about acknowledging it, making his tone that bit more rough.

"Now that we're a little more... practiced, I thought it'd be nice to revisit."

**Saeyoung**

(I did, didn't I...?)

If someone external was to guess Saeyoung's preferences in bed, they'd probably hone in on his teasing, playful nature and assume he was a bit of a sadistic top, but they'd be grossly misunderstanding Saeyoung's thirst for every experience under the sun (...and under the moon... and the stars...)

He wants to explore everything fun with his twin. And play with him all kinds of ways.

He's glad Saeran is just as adventurous.

But as to where he's going with this... he can see the shape of it forming. 

...it's fun to see the photo again, too.

Seeing himself splayed out like that... and knowing whose phone it was on... who could look at it whenever he liked... do with it what he liked...

(There's that dizzy feeling again...)

He tilts his head slightly to the side, a soft smile on his lips, the perfect picture of an attentive listener.

**Saeran**

Saeran can see the pieces fit together in Saeyoung's mind, comprehension clear on his twin's face. Willing to go with whatever Saeran asked. It's almost enough to make Saeran stop there, have that be all there as to his plan and forget the rest.

Almost. "But, this also made me think..."

Saeran glances back to the computers significantly, "You mentioned photos on your personal server earlier. Ones I wasn't allowed to delete. Knowing your exhibitionist tendencies... I'll admit, now I'm curious."

And Saeyoung's idea wasn't bad. The main reason Saeran denied it in the first place was because it wouldn't be as satisfying as it would be now.

(There's also the fact he has photos of me on there... ones I don't know about... which might mean...)

"Especially because I know you're a voyeur too, Saeyoung."  His explanation is going on a little long, but Saeran wants to be totally transparent with what he's going for. That way if Saeyoung was uncomfortable. he could stop.

(Admit it, it's hot to tell him exactly what you plan to do with him too.)

"...Anyway. What's going to happen is this: I'm going to expose you as both. Not only will you be showing off for the camera, I'll also find those files you talked about and tell you exactly what I think."

Affectionately, Saeran tidies Saeyoung's hair. Repositioning the violet. "There. You need to look your best... let's take a 'before' picture first. For posterity."

In other words, Saeyoung is going to have to pose. For Saeran's pleasure. An obvious overture of ownership and desire.

"Understand?"

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung has to resist the instant and pressing desire to do a T-pose. As entertaining as that might be, it’d totally throw them both off – and while that can be fun in its own way, he’s keen to see this play out as it’s meant to.

The devil on his shoulder gagged for now, Saeyoung considers an appropriate pose.

The eye contact is important. Much like before, Saeyoung wants to maintain a connection with his twin, even if he can't touch or speak without permission.

He also wants to look confident. Won’t that make the ‘after’ picture all the more fun, is his twin is going to leave him dishevelled and filthy? He represses a smirk at the thought.

(No. Use that.)

He's not shy. He smirks, and shifts into this pose:

**Saeran**

There is something beguiling about Saeyoung acting confident and showing off for his sake, but for Saeran, too, the allure was more in being able to contrast it to an 'after' photo... one which should be more candid, any composure his twin had remaining thoroughly wrecked. Just imagining gives Saeran a rush, head spinning so much he forgets himself for a moment.

"I'm looking forward to ruining you." He says airily, failing to check himself as his mind goes blank with lust.

For once, Saeran does not mean it literally.

(... o-oh.) There's no taking it back now it's been said, but Saeran's stomach transforms butterflies into bees - buzzing anxiously over his choice of words.

"W...what I mean is..."

(I've ruined it, haven't I?)

(-Not in the good way.)

(No. Breathe. Don't cry. You... you can do this.)

Saeyoung's here to listen to him, right? That means he'll hear out Saeran's misstep, and forgive him for faltering. He'll understand.

Gradually, the bees in his stomach settle onto flowers that are surely blooming at the reminder of his brother's love. Giving Saeran confidence.

What was barely ten seconds felt longer to Saeran, but the fact is he makes good time in recollecting himself and returning to his role.

"I want to see every side of you... and know you intimately... and if that means tearing down all your walls, then..."

Saeran trails off.

Letting his brother fill in those gaps. Something for him to anticipate.

"Shall we get started, then? Go fit yourself under the desk."

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung, of course, feels the conflict in his twin's words and emotions.

And loves him for it.

He doesn't want perfection in this performance, something he should remember to tell Saeran later... if it was too seamless... It might have been a little too much for him, too.

Obeying his twin's orders is one thing, but if Saeran had been too able to just ruin him without a second of hesitation, on their first proper attempt at this type of play...

...he may well have had some hesitation himself.

Instead, he's reminded and reassured that, despite the game, despite everything.

It's still Saeran.

And... he _does_ want to get used up in this play... so long as its Saeran. Still loving him even as he torments him.

So, releasing himself from his provocative posture, he obeys... he'd been looking forward to playing like this, focusing on Saeran's body, unable to see everything that was happening... the thought makes him stiffer, and hungrier for finally touching again...

...and hopefully, tasting.

**Saeran**

Saeran doesn't miss the relief in Saeyoung's eyes, or how his body reacts at being told to go under the desk. It makes him relax, ready to take their game up a notch rather than obsess over his mistakes.

Before Saeran pulls the chair in, he turns the camera to face Saeyoung. Framing him perfectly under the desk. Expectant.

"Okay..."

Saeran hits record.

"Say it for the camera. Why are you under there, Saeyoung? What do you want?"

**Saeyoung**

Saeran's question is exactly what Saeyoung needs to fall completely under that intoxicating tailspin into the mindset of lust, craving and filth Saeran has planned for his twin.

Saeyoung wants there to be no ambiguity. He's naked, and so are his desires.

And who he desires.

He doesn't want there to be any deniability to this video. No easy anyone can misunderstand his intentions.

Depraved and unwholesome as they are.

He wants there to be no forgiveness possible for his feelings.

Because he'll happily submit to them.

And to _him_.

"I’m under here to suck your cock, Saeran..." he purrs, his tone of voice and choice of words leaving no doubt about the matter. "I want you to use my mouth and throat however you like... until you’re satisfied. Whatever it takes to get you to fill me up with your cum… I’ll do it."

He echoes Saeran’s earlier words intentionally. “And… I _want_ you to ruin me…”

His eyes darken with the truth and depravity behind his next words. "... my one and only brother."

**Saeran**

If Saeran didn't know better, he'd think it was scripted. Yet there's an authenticity to his twin's tone that makes the reality undeniable.

Which is exactly what Saeran wanted. To record the degree Saeyoung craved his brother, documenting how far he was willing to go... Forever proof that he could look back to and know it wasn't just a fantasy.

(And blackmail if he ever tries to deny it and leave.)

Rather than be perturbed, Saeran lets that dark thought flow through him. Embracing it, and building on it.

"Oh? I'm not forcing you?"

**Saeyoung**

"No. I want this."

Eyes full of desire, looking directly into the phone's camera, and, by proxy, Saeran.

"I want you."

**Saeran**

(Ah...)

(Ah...!)

One day, Saeyoung was going to make Saeran cum using his words alone.

Today was not that day. But it was close. Saeran knows he'll be using this video if they ever have to spend time apart.

Swallowing down a moan, he mutters, "You're not camera shy at all." Unlike Saeran, who feels self-conscious enough taking a selfie.

He has no bitter feelings about it. Saeyoung _should_ revel in the camera. His twin deserved the limelight, having spent too long in the dark. He had the personality and looks which deserved such attention. And Saeran was happy to give it, more so when Saeyoung was putting on a show just for his sake.

(I could watch him forever... I only want to look at him.)

But for this, he couldn't only be Saeyoung's audience. He had a role to fulfil too.

"But you have been very patient..." Shifting the chair to the desk inch by inch, Saeran reaches out to caress the side of his twin's face with his free hand, before dragging a thumb to his lips. Pushing it lightly against Saeyoung's mouth.

"So willing and ready... I'm prepared to give you what you want." Tilting the camera down across Saeyoung's face, Saeran rests the shot on the collar around his neck.

"On a few conditions. One: Keep your hands to yourself. On your ass, specifically. We're going to show the camera just what you have in there."

He presses the thumb against Saeyoung’s lips a little harder. "Two: We agreed to this already... but don’t make a sound unless I tell you to…"

And three... Saeran drops his hand into the camera shot, just to tug on the collar pointedly.

"Finally: You won't come until I give the okay."

Anyone watching this video would know very well now, Saeyoung was absolutely submissive to Saeran's demands. Willingly so.

The rules weren't going to be effective if there wasn't a punishment in place though. A fact Saeran was well aware of.

"Misbehave, and I'll stop and leave you alone until you can be trusted to be good."

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung nods mutely. He just wants to go, go, go... which is dangerous. If he isn't careful, he'll get so worked up he'll not be able to stay silent...

(...that punishment is too, too painful, Saeran...) he whines internally.

(I've been so good...)

But that's the game, so he'll do his best...

... and he knows he can stop it at any time if it gets too much...

...but he also desperately wants to win. Withstand everything and be rewarded...

Plus, he really, really, really needs that dick in his mouth. Or at least Saeran's fingers again. Not being able to touch is driving him far crazier than not being able to speak.

He keeps his lips parted even after Saeran moves his hand to his collar.

He'll do whatever it takes to keep being touched.

**Saeran**

Once Saeyoung agrees, Saeran eases back the controlling tone. As necessary as it was, just as important was showing that he could treat his twin tenderly as a Dom too.

"I know it won't come to that." He says warmly, as much for himself as for Saeyoung. If it did, Saeran might end up breaking the rules himself. He wants to be as kind as Saeyoung believes him to be.

"I appreciate how hard you've worked so hard up until now... there's no way you'll let that all go to waste."

Panning the camera back up to Saeyoung's face, Saeran wants to make sure he captures every detail of Saeyoung's expression for what he'll say next.

"So, starting now, I'll temporarily waive the first two rules for the time being as a reward."

Of course, that means he can reinstate it later, but... That's what made it a challenge. Both he and Saeyoung will need to keep up with the arbitrary changes.

Sitting back somewhat, Saeran steadies the camera partway up his stomach with one hand, and reaches out with the other to grab the computer mouse. He hadn't forgotten that part of the game. Recording the scene set-up just took most of his attention.

"Whenever you're ready, Saeyoung. I'll start looking for those files... the moment you touch me."

Technically letting his brother initiate was a reward for Saeyoung. But it was a treat for Saeran too.

**Saeyoung**

Even though he's allowed to speak right now, Saeyoung doesn't want to break the spell.

So for now, he doesn't use his words... just his hands, tracing them up the inside of Saeran's thigh, nails gliding along the skin on that way that stimulates lightly enough not to graze, strongly enough not to tickle.

And much as he wants to go elsewhere... he makes his subservience known by letting his fingers trace back down his twin's legs to his feet - Saeyoung kisses each lightly, worshipful.

Then he kisses his way up a leg to the thigh... It's agony, not taking his brother into his mouth just yet. But he can feel it challenging his twin too, and maybe, just maybe, there's a small satisfaction gained by that tiny rebellion.

As he kisses closer to his twin's groin, he allows himself to get longer with his sweeps of his tongue... till finally.

(Not yet... I've been so patient... you can be patient, too... unless you want to give in and just start fucking me...)

He doesn't even think of touching himself... he's so pent up already, and he doesn't have Saeran's level of control at all... He takes Saeran's balls into his mouth, nuzzling up against his cock, hands during his thighs. First one, then with a swipe of his tongue...

He lets himself moan a little, knowing how it will feel for Saeran, and enjoying the idea of the sight it makes.

There'd be no doubt for anyone watching this video, that Saeyoung is enjoying this. Enjoying taking his brother's balls into his own mouth and teasing them with his tongue.

But he has permission, and he's waited so long... He wants...

...he lets Saeran's balls slip gently from his mouth, face now already a mess, and surely going to be messier. Then he begins a series of long licks up the base of Saeran's shaft, as he can feel how rock solid his twin has become.

Finally, his lips move over the head...

...meanwhile...

It doesn't take Saeran long to pull up photos – now that Saeyoung has removed all layers of security for their play, he actually has quite a thorough metadata set associated with basically everything. Some automated, some clearly manual.

Saeyoung was far more meticulous with his data than perhaps his twin had ever realized. Certainly far more careful with it than he was with physical things.

At first, Saeran brings up everything he can find in reverse chronological order.

Naturally, near the front of the queue are the photos from the last time they documented their time together like this, both naked and sweaty, kissing. Saeyoung had taken those with his own phone, not long after Saeran had documented some slightly less romantic shots which. Ah, yes, here they are, in related metadata... Saeyoung, messy, exhausted, with Saeran's cum leaking from his asshole...

... probably not the best thing to look at when your twin is about to give you head and you're _trying_ not to cum too soon.

But, the related image data is a good point. Saeran can build a broader understanding of where he fits in Saeyoung's universe this way.

So rather than browse chronologically, he begins browsing metadata... images about himself… What he's about to find is that Saeyoung has taken a lot more sneaky profile shots of him than he's ever noticed.

Also, that he's taken shots of nearly every meal Saeran has made and shared with him... long before they started dating, too.

Similar to how in the associated images, there's screenshots of items Saeyoung has flagged as things Saeran might like as gifts... also dating back far earlier than the period they've been dating.

Even when they weren't lovers, and Saeyoung was successfully repressing his deeper desire for his twin, he was clearly fascinated by him... wanting to give him meaningful gifts... paying attention to small comments about things Saeran likes through photo reminders...

... he seems to have noted a lot more of Saeran's throwaway comments than Saeran realised.

**Saeran**

The initial photos certainly don't help with Saeran’s stamina, not with Saeyoung taking his time getting to his cock. Saeran has to give his brother kudos where it's due - despite his desperation, he was able to drag the situation on rather than immediately pounce on Saeran... it took willpower. That it was his way of being defiant wasn't lost on Saeran either, but... he'll allow it. It only added to the game they were playing, and Saeran has to bite down on his lip when Saeyoung takes his balls into his mouth - cock so stiff from neglect that it's dripping in agony,  and sensitive to every brush of Saeyoung's tongue.

Saeran can't watch. If he does, he really might come too soon. At least he'll have the video...

Dragging his eyes back to the computer screen, he investigates the other photos idly. Using them to focus. The amount of attention Saeyoung gave him in everyday life becomes more and more obvious... that alone was more of a gift than anything else Saeyoung might give him.

"You... really have such a brother complex... haha."

Obviously, seeing as how Saeyoung was well on his way to sucking Saeran off. The photos and interest in Saeran as his subject only emphasized that fact.

(It's exciting, knowing how obsessed he is... with his own brother... with me.)

Acknowledging that complex added more power to this scene, much like how Saeyoung told the camera who exactly he desired so much. The element of the taboo and forbidden, and of being allowed it as long as he proved his dedication to the extreme...

Saeran's laugh trails off into a moan, and his hips rise from the power of his arousal.

He might not last long. Then again... Who says he can't come twice? Maybe even three times?

As if reading his mind, Saeyoung starts to lick up his shaft. It's almost too much.

"I want to fuck your face... I want to cover you in my cum, Saeyoung..." Saeran babbles, encouraging and _needing_ it all. "Then I want you to clean it all up with your tongue... and then I'll fuck you again."

With all the sex they've been having, Saeran is sure he can do it. His stamina has been getting a lot better, and it wasn't as it it'd take long to make Saeyoung come either. But Saeran isn't sure Saeyoung is listening - no doubt preoccupied with Saeran's dick and his equal need to taste it.

Which wouldn't do at all.

Grabbing the collar, Saeran tugs Saeyoung back just as he's about to lower his mouth onto the head. It makes his cock weep pre-cum, unable to stand the abandonment, almost enough to make Saeran shove Saeyoung's mouth back down.

He reins himself back in.

"Stop. That's enough of that."

There was one other thing Saeran needed to catch on camera before he went too far, and now was the perfect time. Saeran was more than willing to endure anything if it meant getting the most enjoyment out of this, and right now he had to punish Saeyoung a little - but in the best way.

**Saeyoung**

As his twin begins to talk dirty Saeyoung really begins to lose it, now wanting nothing more than to make those words a reality.

But then - (More denial.)

Saeyoung obeys, regretting not just going for it after all. He really should keep in mind how focused his twin can be. Whatever images he's looking at, Saeran seems to be pleased about though...

But what have they inspired him to do?

**Saeran**

"That look on your face..."

It tells Saeran all he needs to know. The disappointment and confusion... so enamoured with his brother's dick, Saeyoung had lapsed in his duties.

A thrill jolts up Saeran's spine, excited by that monofocus and the prospect of reminding his twin. "You forgot, didn't you?"

Tutting, Saeran withdraws his hand. "I'm not surprised. All these photos of me... you really have a one-track-mind."

And he pushes the chair back from the desk, just enough to create more space - though even that is painful. "You had some fun. But now your time's up."

Which means that Saeyoung will need to play by the rules now. It was too late for regrets.

"Don't worry. I'll make good on my promises..." And if Saeyoung had been paying attention after all, then he'll know exactly what Saeran meant. If not... well, he'll soon figure it out.

"So, turn around. I want to record what you've got back there too."

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung has been paying attention... mostly... his twin's voice captivating him even as his desire pushes him to the edge.

He just hopes his brother isn't going to make him wait too long again. He's honestly not sure if he can take it silently much longer. Even with that small respite.

Especially not if Saeran fulfils his promises.

That said...

Despite the disappointment at being unable to continue this way... The idea of his brother documenting the glass rose deep in his ass is also appealing... taking the video down a notch in terms of purity.

(Although the incest was probably enough for that...) Carefully, he turns to give his twin and the camera the best view of his ass he can from under the desk.

**Saeran**

It makes quite a sight, Saeyoung's ass quivering with the exertion of keeping the dildo in place and anus puckered pink. Saeyoung only enduring it by not having to deal with having the cock thrusting in and out continuously.

(Let's see if he can.)

But first, it needs more lube. "I'm going to take it out for a second." He tells Saeyoung, reaching for the lube as he does and placing it by his brother's legs. "When I do, I want you to start preparing yourself again... and you're going to explain just what I'm holding too."

This is a show, after all. Slowly, Saeran eases the rose dildo out. Really making Saeyoung feel it as he does, before holding it up for the camera to take it all in.

"It really is beautiful, isn't it... a perfect match for you."

Saeran can't imagine anyone else looking so stunning while so debauched.

**Saeyoung**

Other than working to ensure the weight and narrowness didn't work against him, he's grown used to the feel of it, so when Saeran takes it out, it's a little discomforting, though at least his twin takes his time.

Given the length, it must be quite a sight as it leaves. It's just a shame Saeran's not going to replace it with his cock... which would feel so much more satisfying.

But Saeran's already made his intent clear. This is just for the benefit of the video, and the game. There's no relief offered to him just yet.

And he's meant to describe it. Soon.

He waits for Saeran's explicit permission, the threat of speaking out of turn and being left alone more than enough motivation.

**Saeran**

Saeyoung's obedience is still so sweet, and makes Saeran so giddy. He laughs again, gentle and adoring.

"You must really want to behave... it's okay. Go on and talk."

And just in case, Saeran taps the bottle of lube with the dildo for good measure. Better safe than sorry.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung inhales deeply. He's getting a little shaky like this, but he can withstand it. He's been through far more demanding situations physically than this. Although he hasn't had to deal with an erection during those.

"You're holding a rose dong," Saeyoung starts, “which we bought together in a sex shop this afternoon, along with the lube. We also bought my collar there." He shifts.

"It's been in my ass for a while now... since before the video started..."

He picks up the lube as Saeran has indicated, coating himself liberally with it, sinking his fingers into his ass to ensure as much coverage as possible. He's glad they purchased extra... they're going to go through a lot before this session ends, he can tell.

**Saeran**

"And...?" Saeran prompts, not quite satisfied, "Are you satisfied with your purchases?"

Asking also buys time for Saeyoung to be thorough, and there's no way Saeran doesn't enjoy this sight. Half tempted to press his own cock into Saeyoung's ass instead.

**Saeyoung**

(Not as satisfied as I would be with your cock...) he wants to respond, but would that just ruin things? He doesn't know.

"I've been enjoying them..." Saeyoung responds, truthfully, although again, when he thinks of 'satisfaction'...

"...but not as much as I've been enjoying your attention."

Also true.

"I want you..."

He wasn't asked, but he can't help but beg a little while he's still allowed to speak.

**Saeran**

"Yes... you've made that very clear."

As much as Saeran enjoys hearing it, Saeyoung was speaking out of line somewhat. Not enough to leave him to his own devices, but...

"And I didn't ask."

It earns Saeyoung a firm pinch on his butt cheek, turning the flesh pink. Nevertheless, Saeran doesn't want to make it hurt - just ache, like an erotic bruise both he and his brother have had their fair share of. He smooths a hand over the sore skin after, groping it tenderly.

"You're going to put this cock back in now..." He says, taking a moment to roll it across Saeyoung's butt too. Fascinated by how the light of the computers caught in the glass and reflected across his twin's skin.

"Then..."

His voice drops down into a husky murmur.

"You'll turn back around, and be totally stuffed from both ends."

**Saeyoung**

Amazing how all this denial can make him feel grateful for even the smallest things.

Though perhaps thinking of what's to come as "small" is somewhat unfair. But he's certainly grown used to being able to... touch his twin without hesitation, unless Saeran's in a solitary mood. Which he has always been able to sense.

Taking that sense for granted, maybe. Along with the touch?

He doesn't know. It's getting difficult to think anything.

He accepts the glass rose back from Saeran silently, and without turning, ensuring his twin will continue to get the best view, slowly slips it back in - it's not too difficult at this point, given how long he's been holding it.

He keeps hold of it with one hand (I should have eyed off a proper flared butt plug instead of this at the store, sob T_T But it was just too pretty T_T) and steadies himself with the other as he shifts around to face Saeran again.

**Saeran**

Every second Saeyoung spends adjusting himself is fraught with desire, watching his twin get ready making Saeran's cock throb strongly in anticipation.

Like his brother, Saeran shares the same idea - the more that was denied or restricted, the more one appreciated it all. But Saeran had known about that for a long, long time, as nice as it was to currently be able to afford such indulgence. Reminding oneself that you can't always get what you want, at least not right away... makes actually getting it that much more rewarding.

Like now. Leaning forward, always careful of his phone and ensuring the best view, Saeran takes the ring around Saeyoung's collar and uses it to tug his brother forward towards his erection.

"Well? You wanted this... begged for it. So be a good big brother, and take care of it."

**Saeyoung**

There's no will to tease or resist left in him at this point.

He doesn't really have the capacity to think.

All he has the capacity for is right there in front of him, in the form of his brother's hard dick, ready to fuck his mouth.

So he doesn't tease. He doesn't resist. He doesn't think.

He takes it into his throat roughly - rough on himself, certainly no teeth involved for Saeran.

His gag reflex is something fairly well-tamed at this point, but the suddenness does make him react just a little, throat squeezing around Saeran's cock. He lines himself up neatly, so that it will be able to sink fully into him with little trouble.

There's no light teasing with his tongue now. Only hungry, long sucks, loud and messy, saliva already dripping from his lips.

**Saeran**

Which is exactly what Saeran was going for. Seeing his brother completely depraved, totally at the mercy to his needs and not thinking of anything else - only wanting his little brother's dick deep inside him.

"Haaah...!" Saeran moans, loudly enough for them both.

(My brother's mouth is...)

(I'm fucking my brother's mouth-)

That brother was not only letting him, but implored him to. The utter immorality of the act spurs Saeran on, thrusting his cock deeper and using the collar to control Saeyoung's motion to best maximize his pleasure. There's no more hesitation. The very nature of their dynamic wouldn't allow it. Saeyoung wanted to be the best big brother, wanted to provide and nurture and indulge Saeran in every way. _Craved_ it.

That's why, for this play focusing on the blood relation, not on being lovers, felt so potent. That way Saeran could allow himself to be demanding too. No longer was he a villain intent on dominance, but a little brother testing the lengths his twin would go to satisfy him.

A length like his cock, pressing up to the very back of Saeyoung's throat, coating it with pre-cum.

(Tight...)

It's so easy to get lost in the sensation. Saeran forces Saeyoung to stay as still as he can for a moment, letting himself adjust and his dick pulsate against Saeyoung's tongue. Intent on taking all of it in, and making good on Saeyoung's own rules. Saeran hasn't forgotten. He couldn't. They'd made an agreement.

"Hyung..." He starts, calling attention back to the obvious.

"You… your face looks so good full of my dick... I love seeing your lips wrapped around me like this..." Gradually, Saeran rocks deeper into Saeyoung's mouth, literally fucking his face as intended. Any faster and he will come on the spot.

"I'm going to cum soon... remember... you'll have to lick up every last drop."

Saeran doesn't doubt there'll be a mess, balls heavy with more than one load. Ready to mark Saeyoung's whole body with his essence.

Thinking about it makes Saeran thrust again, more forceful, truly making Saeyoung work.

**Saeyoung**

There's no length Saeyoung wouldn't go to, to please his younger brother. No rule he wouldn't break. Wouldn't delight in breaking, if it made his twin happy.

In these passionate, messy, uncontrolled throes, he indulges these thoughts completely.

(I'll bend, I'll break, just don't leave my side...)

Much as Saeran would have felt, all those years ago, alone.

But he doesn't even have enough mental space for guilt.

Only the need to service his little brother however he demands.

Where he ends and Saeran begins is only the physical, anyway...

**Saeran**

Saeyoung's dedication is soon rewarded. Saeran cries out with a guttural groan, driving his cock in faster and faster, until -

"Ah...!"

It's an effort to hold back during an orgasm, the temptation to let go and ride it out strong enough to defeat most men. And Saeran is merely mortal. His skin sticks to the leather of the computer chair due to all his sweat, and his dick jerks into Saeyoung's mouth so much that it can't be helped that cum spills out the sides. The grip he has on his phone is tenuous at best, and his grasp on Saeyoung's collar is tight.

But he tries, in an attempt to keep enough of himself in reserve for a quick round two. Determined not to have Saeyoung wait too long for his sake.

And if there's one thing about these twins, they can do anything if it's for each other.

**Saeyoung**

He chokes around Saeran's cock, unable to swallow at all thanks to the continued pressure and movement. Tears streaming down his face from the exertion, which he doesn't even feel as they run down his face with his sweat - both a product of his body's reaction to the strain he's currently under. The sweat and tears mixes with the cum he's unable to do anything about, although as his younger brother finally comes to a stop he's able to breathe a little, heart pounding in his ears, the only thing he can hear, not even cognisant of Saeran's moan. He can't think about anything now, other than trying to stay upright, and getting as many shaky breaths in as he can.

The hand holding the rise in place trembles with exertion.

He's not able to do anything but wait, unable to string a thought together let alone a reaction.

**Saeran**

Saeran releases his hold on Saeyoung's collar, reclining in his seat and catching a breath. It's... messy. As expected. On the plus side, it makes for a good video.

Satisfied in more than one way, Saeran stops the recording and sets the phone aside. Feeling relaxed. It seems both of them needed some time to recover, and there was no need to video the whole thing. In fact, it'd be almost impossible to.

After closing his eyes for a few seconds, Saeran becomes aware that Saeyoung is not doing... anything. Not even resting, still upright. Concerned, Saeran sits back up and looks Saeyoung over.

(...I... really did wreck him...)

His heart squeezes, and he can't help but reach out and wipe at Saeyoung's face tenderly, almost whimpering with worry.

"M...my love, take a break... how are you feeling?"

**Saeyoung**

He's still trying to steady his heart rate and regain space to think when he feels his twin's touch on his cheek. His brain registers Saeran's speech but doesn't interpret it at first, still dealing with the touch.

Another breath. Another. He replays the sounds again and this time his brain feeds him back the meaning.

He doesn't have to play for a minute. Saeran is giving him a chance to rest.

He needs a minute before he can answer that question though. Instead of responding verbally, he reaches out to wrap his arms around his younger twin's waist, sinking back on his haunches so he can relax his grip on the rose.

He rests his head between his brother's legs, which isn't any messier than his face already is, part of his head in contact with Saeran's right thigh, part ever so slightly in contact with Saeran's half-erect penis. Not sexy, but pretty intimate.

His slowing breaths, still pretty shallow, tickle the inside of Saeran's other thigh.

After a minute or so, as his heart stops being the loudest thing in the room, he says: 

"Just a few minutes..."

**Saeran**

A few minutes is easy enough to give. Saeran would stop this entirely, if that's what Saeyoung asked. But he'll leave that decision up to his brother, not about to push continuing their game.

Intent on comforting his twin, Saeran brushes his hair with gentle fingers and leans forward to make it easier on Saeyoung to wrap his arms around his waist.

(I don't want him to be uncomfortable...)

Besides, Saeran likes that touch too, the casual intimacy of their position much needed after such an intense blowjob. Holding each other close, and hearing Saeyoung breathe... it's a simple happiness.

Surely there was more he could do, though. Considering he was responsible for Saeyoung being like this in the first place...

(... he used to sing to help me calm down.)

(It's worth a try.)

Awkwardly, Saeran starts humming.

**Saeyoung**

It's a relief to feel his twin's fingers in his hair, the sensation offering even more comfort than the act of resting his head.

It was only the difficulty breathing, staying still and controlling his sounds towards the very end that pushed him far enough to need a break, so it's more about allowing his body to relax again for a minute so that he can enjoy the sexual tension with less of the raw physical strain.

Then Saeran starts to hum for him...

"I love your voice..." Saeyoung murmurs softly.

He listens a minute longer. He wishes he could listen much longer. Maybe later.

But Saeran has worked so hard to set up this game for them both, and his breathing is recovering well, his heart almost back to normal...

...and if he delays too much longer, then he'll start to feel the ache of holding that position so long. He raises his head. "I'm okay now. I just needed to catch my breath. Thank you..."

He pulls back an arm so he can gently stroke Saeran's thigh. "Can I help get us back to where we were going? You've been working so hard..." It's refreshing having the space to think again. It was fun having his twin drive everything from his mind, but the breather was definitely needed.

**Saeran**

Seeing the light return to his twin's eyes reassures Saeran that it's fine, and his touch... well, Saeran's still feeling a sensitive, so the suggestion to get back on track is very welcome.

There's just one thing he wants first.

"Kiss me?" He asks, rather than demands. Sure, they can kiss more when the game starts again in earnest, but Saeran wants to share the gesture in a way that's pure and loving first.

"Then... then we can continue from where we left off."

**Saeyoung**

It's a request that can only ever result in Saeyoung's happiness increasing.

Conscious of the fact he's not exactly that tidy right now, he smiles bashfully and wipes the back of his hand over his mouth a little.

He lets go of Saeran completely, one hand dropping back to secure the rose, the other, as he rises up onto his knees, lightly touches Saeran's cheek as he brings his sensitive, much-used lips to his twin's.

He only has love to share in this touch, delicate and adoring.

**Saeran**

The kiss is light, just mouths brushing together and air being shared. What matters more is what is communicated between it, all emotions wrapped up into each breath.

It lets Saeran know on an intrinsic level that this is fine. He is loved. Saeyoung wasn't pushed too far. Just the encouragement he needs.

They kiss like that for as long as is needed, both getting their full of each other's affection, before some unspoken understanding has both twins pull apart.

Saeran smiles at Saeyoung, eyes glimmering with promise.

"Ready?"

**Saeyoung**

"...I'm ready," Saeyoung responds "...my love."

He gives Saeran a warm, if a little messy smile, then mimes zipping his own lips and locking with a key - which he then invisibly places into his twin's hands.

He might be asked to speak again shortly, but he wants to signal his willingness to play again. And that he's started.

**Saeran**

Saeran watches Saeyoung admiringly, using it as an opportunity to give himself a mental nudge and shift back into the dom mindset. Changing the way he talks to his twin as practice, even if it's praise.

"You did so well. I want to reward you more... but look at this mess." There's no denying the state either of them are in.

"It won't do. I think you know what I'm going to ask. Since you have been so good though... not only can you touch me again, but I'll let you moan, too."

Mostly, Saeran wants to cut Saeyoung some slack and the reward system offered the perfect excuse.

He genuinely did think Saeyoung proved himself well too, enduring so much just for Saeran's sake... though no doubt he was also looking forward to the finale.

"Oh. And get rid of that rose dildo. You won't need it soon enough."

**Saeyoung**

It's easy to remove. Both the weight and the lube help with that.

It's a good thing, because Saeyoung really wants to use his hands.

Still on his knees, he leans in to begin swiping his tongue over the insides of Saeran's thighs, close to his balls, where, unsurprisingly, a large amount of semen wound up as it dribbled from the corners of Saeyoung's mouth.

"Mmmnnn..."

He's so glad they paused, so he could recover his stamina enough to properly enjoy this part. There's something to be said for the kind of oblivion he experienced earlier, but he’s only interested in brief visits there. Right now he wants to give his full attention to this act. To Saeran.

His twin's balls are just as coated in their mixed fluids as his inner thighs, but rather than take them into his mouth like he did before, Saeyoung enjoys tracing their shape with his tongue, taking his sweet time with every fold. Plus, this way, it'll make for a much more pleasing show for his twin.

And the noises he’s making must be pleasing, because Saeran seems to respond to each with the movement of his body and the sound of his own breath.

**Saeran**

There's a saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Saeran had always thought that was stupid. All absence ever did was cause his heart pain and resentment.

(Maybe there's something to it.)

Hearing Saeyoung moan for him, feeling his brother's hands... 'fond' is one word for how it makes him feel.

Stretching his legs wider, Saeran hums again - but in a way that's much more lascivious. Obviously taking pleasure in sitting back and letting his twin enjoy the remains of his orgasm.

As erotic as pushing Saeyoung beyond his capabilities was, to the point where he'd only existed for Saeran's benefit...

(Especially here of all places...)

Seeing his twin relish in his tasks was just as titillating. Perhaps moreso now Saeyoung had come back from the brink of oblivion, but still wanted to serve. It takes dedication, which pays off as Saeran's penis starts to twitch again. Saeyoung willing to do what it took to arouse his brother for another round, licking areas of Saeran's thigh and cock he'd long since cleaned...

(That, or he's just that into it.)

Maybe both. Saeyoung's enthusiasm gets to a point where Saeran is nearly willing to have another blowjob, now fully erect from his twin's ministrations. But that would defeat the purpose, so he tugs Saeyoung back by the collar - admiring the mixed chagrin and anticipation on his twin's face.

"You really are talented with your mouth..." Saeran muses, taking in how red and swollen it's become. "I love how it feels... I enjoyed all of this. You've really gone out of your way for me."

Leaning down, Saeran steals a kiss from those lips, gentle and appreciative. When he pulls back, Saeran's eyes travel further down taking in his twin's body and how his cock also stands to attention. Red and needy.

"There's no one else I'd rather be with... who can please me like you do," he continues, placing a second kiss to Saeyoung's jaw. "I can't wait to be inside you. I bet I’ll fit perfectly... you're my other half, after all."

Saeran smiles mischievously. Placing one last kiss on Saeyoung's cheek, before pulling back. There was only one thing stopping him now. Something he was sure Saeyoung would like.

"I was going to bend you over the desk, but you deserve a choice for all you've endured, don't you think? So… you can be in my lap... or any other position which pleases you."

Whatever way they did it, Saeran was sure he'd enjoy it anyway.

**Saeyoung**

After spending so much time licking and nuzzling his little brother’s thighs, cock and balls… Saeyoung is feeling that buzzing mindlessness returning, and it feels wonderful. Not total oblivion, though if he dips back into that again briefly, he can handle it.

It might seem odd that this kind of service is restorative to him, but paying this kind of attention to his twin is energising.

He’d needed a breather, but now that he’s so close to Saeran again, and being allowed so many little luxuries… now that he’s being offered a choice again, he pauses a moment, unable to make a decision.

(Everything... just seems so appealing…)

He looks up at Saeran, a questioning expression on his face.

(I want to do what you want most…)

He gestures from his heart, opening his hands in front of him in a kind of ‘after you’ way.

(I don’t want to speak if you don’t ask, but…)

He rests his hands lightly on the top of Saeran’s thighs. (You know what I’m saying though, right?)

One day they should really try some fun experiments with how much they can read each other… but it’s far from his mind right now.

**Saeran**

Saeran has suspected for a while now that there was something to their connection that went beyond familiarity or similarities. Something psychic, that's only gotten stronger the closer they are to each other.

Seeing as Zen has precognitive dreams, it isn't an odd theory. And right now, he can swear he _hears_ Saeyoung speak though his brother hasn't once opened his mouth. Committed to being subservient.

It might be worth testing now.

"I want to hear you say it, hyung. If you're having so much trouble deciding, just tell me what comes to mind..." It's a general enough demand that if he's wrong, it doesn't matter. But if he's right... No doubt Saeyoung would be equally delighted and fascinated.

(When he isn't thinking about sex, that is.)

Saeran has it a bit easier. He's at least come once already.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung beams up at him, the lust in his eyes tinged by a little excitement of a different kind.

“You heard my voice, didn’t you? Even though I didn’t talk~”

He’s been getting this feeling for a while now… the first time they made love… and even before then…

There is something a little special about their bond.

They really were two halves of some greater whole. Destined to only achieve their full potential when together.

“We really do fit together perfectly, Saeran…”

It would be a sweet sentence to hear normally, but the way Saeyoung’s arousal colours it makes it have a somewhat different feel. He squeezes his twin’s thighs lightly.

“Hahhh… I… want to do a lot of things with you… so I was struggling to pick… but what you suggested sounds fun…”

**Saeran**

Knowing that what they have is real, an undeniable link and not just some conjured up fantasy excites Saeran more than anything. He wants to test it - see how far they could go, to what degree of intimacy or trust or openness was required to speak heart to heart. Perhaps their current circumstances were unique. Or maybe it could be replicated. Saeran doesn't know, but he looks forward to finding out.

As it is, how to best take advantage of the discovery now?

Could it be used for Saeyoung to anticipate his needs? His _desires_? (In that case, why don't we try changing it up as we go...)

The shine in Saeran's eyes matches the same glimmer Saeyoung's, coloured by two different kinds of hunger.

Let them see if Saeyoung can tell when he wants to shift things up. If not, it's hardly a loss...

They'd still be making love.

"Okay. Bend over the desk... oh, and if there's anything else you want to show me, now would be the time."

Best to take advantage of the computers while they still can. And keeping Saeyoung's mind preoccupied would be an interesting test too.

**Saeyoung**

Obliging, giddy with their confirmation of their deeper-than-normal bond, Saeyoung turns and rests his elbows on his computer desk, bent over in front of his twin.

As for what he could show Saeran… the associated images folder is still open on the screen and it's certainly not a small collection... not to mention all his college notes...

...but...

there is...

something else...

he could do.

Something that can only be accessed from the home network...

And given how much pleasure Saeran is getting from penetrating his, uh, inner sanctum... and how much Saeyoung enjoys exposing himself...

(How about this...?)

And Saeyoung runs the command prompt to access the internal security camera from this room... which does have a degree of manoeuvrability and zoom...

...bringing up a high camera angle view oh himself, bent over the desk, and Saeran, who is –

**Saeran**

Currently squirting lube into his palm, preoccupied with ensuring his dick is well-prepared to enter Saeyoung's ass. Glancing up, he's briefly taken back by the sight, and goes as far to look over his shoulder to where the camera is.

And smirks right into it. "You would've saved me a lot of trouble with the phone if you did that in the first place," he comments, turning back to Saeyoung and spreading his cheeks. Angling his body in such a way not to block the view for his brother.

"Though at least my phone has better quality..." And a much more intimate focus. As good as the room camera could get with its zoom, it can't beat having one right in Saeyoung's face.

"Just for that," Saeran teases, pressing his cock lightly up against Saeyoung's anus and rubbing it along the taint, "I won't be gentle." Saeran expects that his twin hardly needs much preparation anyway, after having the rose dildo in his ass for so long.

With no more preamble, he grips onto Saeyoung's hips and thrusts in deeply - gasping at the immediate tightness and friction.

**Saeyoung**

"Ahhh-!" Saeyoung can't withhold _this_ moan. And Saeran is correct - he's more than warmed up enough now.

So much so that he can truly focus on the sheer pleasure and depravity he feels having his brother fuck him like this.

Saeyoung's cock bounces at each thrust, dripping pre-cum onto the floor, a little on his leg - not that it's very noticeable given how much of a mess he is at this point.

(Fuck me... don't hold back... wreck me...!)

Might as well use that bond again, if he can... although he already broke his silence. And Saeran doesn't seem like he needs much more encouragement to do as he asks, anyway...

**Saeran**

The instant Saeyoung moans, Saeran pulls back and thrusts in again - not needing to be told twice. Using the momentum of the thrust to bend over his brother's back, reach out with his hand and insert fingers into Saeyoung's mouth from the back.

"Shut up."

Using the angle to his advantage, Saeran practically pins Saeyoung right up against the desk and presses a finger own on his twin's tongue, forcing him to drool if he wants to keep breathing. The position works well to keep Saeyoung's face up too, looking towards the screen.

(Watch... you wanted to see me fuck you, didn't you? Like the mirror in the store today.)

Rather than watch the screen himself, Saeran turns his head back towards the camera. As if he could make eye contact with Saeyoung that way, as he thrusts in again. And again.

**Saeyoung**

(G-god...)

He could practically come like this, even without touching himself, the way he's -

(Fuck... Saeran... you're so...)

He sees his twin look up at the grainy footage of the CCTV camera... sees himself pinned, used, fucked.

Saeyoung’s face is rapidly melting back into the lustful expression he’d pulled earlier, as his brother fucked his mouth, but this time with far more uncontrolled pleasure than before. And he's starting from a much more wrecked place to begin with, too.

Being able to see for himself how much fun Saeran is having...

He can't hold back even as his brother presses his fingers into his mouth...

He pants, drooling, desperately fighting against the urge to call Saeran's name...

**Saeran**

Saeran can _hear_ how wrecked Saeyoung is, even without him vocalizing it, which is exactly what he wanted. There's something much more intimate about communicating this way, and it arouses Saeran with a vengeance - erection swelling, and not about to abate anytime soon. If he concentrates beyond the feeling of his brother clenched around him, the heat in his loins arcing like lightning, Saeran thinks he can sense the pleasure his brother feels too.

Groaning, Saeran bites down on Saeyoung's shoulder as he drives in again and again.

(Good...!) This isn't fucking Saeyoung senseless. It's the complete opposite.

There comes a point where Saeran isn't satisfied with that though. He needs to see for himself how Saeyoung looks - and the footage obscured his twins face, taking half the fun out of it.

(Turn around) he thinks, even as he buries himself into Saeyoung's ass again. At the very least he draws back his hands, resting them on Saeyoung's waist instead.

(Let me see you... I want to see just how wrecked you are.)

**Saeyoung**

It's a little like a sign in the darkness that blazes brightly in his mind, but the sign isn't words so much as an intent...

in this case...

as Saeran's fingers withdraw from his mouth, thoroughly covered in his drool, Saeyoung turns his head...

(He wants...)

Saeran's continued thrusts push him forward. As Saeyoung turns, his twin gets a decent view of his profile...

The hair closest to his face is plastered with sweat now, his face sticky with that and so much more, his tongue extended from intensity of his panting, drool leaking from his mouth.

It's the face of someone completely lost in lust, and he's making that face because of Saeran.

His brother.

Feeling Saeran's eyes read his expression like this...

Saeyoung tries to bite his lip to hold back the sound, but with his twin's hard thrusts and his own loose grip on himself, he can't, and he...

He chokes on the sound, a swallowed moan, which only contorts his face further.

He's near-completely overcome with Saeran's touch.

**Saeran**

There's no words for the delight Saeran feels at seeing Saeyoung so utterly debased, and that his twin knew exactly what he had wanted only excites him further. He doesn't want to hold back anymore, doesn't want Saeyoung to either. He needs them to face each other fully...

Which means a moment apart. There was no way Saeyoung could turn around completely in this position.

Groaning as he pulls out of Saeyoung, the lack of pressure and contact agony. Saeran slumps back into the chair.

(At least... it'll keep him from coming.) A very real danger, Saeyoung's expression raising flags as much as his cock. Saeran wants to get as much out of this as he can, particularly now they have their bond to play with.

So, he leaves Saeyoung against the desk and waits for him to get the message.

**Saeyoung**

Message or not, Saeyoung wants Saeran so badly he trembles with the separation, can't hold himself back from turning to face Saeran even if he wanted to -

\- unsure if his own desire or his twin's has more influence over him at this moment.

It's all a mixture. It's all a blissful mess.

Which is a good description of himself, as he turns to straddle his brother, legs either side of his twin's, hands on the arms of the chair. Face turned down to look at Saeran, hazy and needy, as he positions himself over his twin's cock.

One hand reaching down to help line up...

(You're so hard...)

... then, he easily slides down all the way to rest his ass completely in Saeran's lap, shivering at the way the angle stimulates him in new places, like he's feeling every bump for the first time again.

He grasps Saeran's shoulders and holds his gaze, hazy and wrecked as he is, he doesn't want to miss a minute of his brother's expression... as he rises and falls again, impaling himself, pushing his twin as deep as he can inside.

**Saeran**

The force of the penetration makes the chair rock dangerously, tilting the back and Saeran with it down and wheeling it against the wall. For a desperate moment Saeran's both afraid they're going to fall and overcome by the intensity of Saeyoung's insides. Scrambling to grip something, _anything_ , Saeran's hands dig into Saeyoung's sides and he arches up at a complete loss - eyes blown wide and mouth wide open in a heart-stopping gasp. Any further plans flee his mind, totally obsessed with how Saeyoung feels - how _he_ feels... Their edges are blurring together, becoming more difficult to define even as Saeran tries to grasp that distinction, find that unique heartbeat, only to discover that it's the very same as his own.

Unknowingly, he's started to speak, now so in the habit of doing it.  He doesn't even realize it at first, because he's voicing exactly what he's thinking.

"Yes... yes, keep- you feel so good, hyung... take it, take me-"

He breaks off with a moan, but even then his mind races with need. Whose, it's difficult to say.

(Listen- tell me...)

**Saeyoung**

It's still hard to tell if Saeran's wishes are reaching him or if Saeyoung just can't take the rules any more now that he's so intensely lose in the sensation of fucking his brother like this.

"Hhhaaa-aaaaaa..." he groans. He leans forward so that his toes now only barely touch the ground, making the most of the wall behind the chair to press against Saeran. Running his arms up from his brother’s shoulders to grip loosely in his hair, he brings his forehead into contact with his twin's and pants into the space between them.

"Aaa....ahhh...! Saeran...!" His voice is so sweet, so eager for approval, so soft and bruised and tender.

"Am I pleasing you? Uuuhh - am I - Saeran, is your older brother... f-fun to fuck like this? I - I - Saeran... I love…-"

\- he breaks off struggling to speak over the pressure building up inside, his own words just bringing him closer and closer, cock untouched almost this entire time and yet -

"O-ohh, I-"

(you, you, you, only you, I only want to please you, you, my one, my only one, my only one, my heart, my soul-)

**Saeran**  
  
Saeran can't stand anymore space between them, not when Saeyoung sounds like that, words echoing in Saeran's ears and heart. Surging forward, he presses a rough kiss to Saeyoung's mouth and picks them out of the chair - the sudden adrenaline letting him _pick Saeyoung up_ and even manage a few steps to the desk, slamming the mouse and keyboard out of the way with a sweep of his arm and depositing Saeyoung down on it - pressing flush up against his twin as he plunders his mouth, Saeyoung's ass just hanging over the edge. The sharp sound of the devices hitting the ground implies something might have broken, as if either of them really cares.

Saeran certainly doesn't.

"Y...you're the best older brother... the only... one, I ever want..." he pants, needing more of that sweetness. "I wanna... every night, wanna pulverize you and... watch you crumble, and see you put yourself back together, just- just for me."

Influenced by Saeyoung's finding pleasure in his own words, being brutally honest about his darkest impulses works Saeran into more of a frenzy.

**Saeyoung**

The force he's pushed back with sends him shaking with desire, pushing back as soon as he's able to, steadying himself so that Saeran can thrust into him as roughly as his words...

(You want me that much...!)

"E-every piece of me... yours, they're yours Sa-arean....ahh-hhhh-!" His whole body feels like it’s made from fire, or maybe just being consumed by it... but in the sweetest ways. "Fuck me, wreck me, I-" he groans, throwing his arms back around his twin to steady himself as Saeran pounds into him.

"You're the only - the only one who, ah, HAAH-H... can destroy me... the only one w-who can best me, S-Saeran..."

Their mouths meet again, roughly and with such intensity Saeyoung feels like one of them - both of them - who even knows - might have drawn a tiny bit of blood, so fervently are they devouring each other... just the faintest hint of iron... but it also could just be his senses really failing, so overwhelmed he -

he -

\- he imagines Saeran coming to him when they were still at odds with each other, breaking into this place, waiting for him, arguing but then that fight turning to lust and anger turning to a desire to control and -

"y-you... tried to get at me so many times here... now you have - have me - hhHHaah... you have me-"

He shudders, seeing and smelling and feeling and imagining his twin... if he'd wanted to punish Saeyoung like that... he would have accepted it, accepted anything - "e-every time... you hurt because of me... I deserve... destruction... rebuilt only for y-you...fuck me until you're satisfied... f-fu-UH-uck me until I'm ruined for a-anyone else... I wanted to fuck my little brother so long I- I'm"

He can feel the orgasm pushing at the very edge of his senses, and it'd only take - (please please please please touch me touch me touch his stroke me my love my brother SAERAN I'm going to - I want it to be your hand that - touch me saeran saeran touch m-meee)

**Saeran**

It's horrifying and twisted and Saeran simply does not care, driven by the vindication of punishing Saeyoung like this in the most pleasurable way, making his twin beg to be destroyed by him and only him so that he could finally be satisfied. No longer alone in his own wreckage. Broken machines of the same makes, all those parts of Saeyoung left over will be used to patch Saeran back together. And gladly, Saeyoung literally ruining himself for his little brother's sake.

Later, Saeran will be there to embrace him. Flaws and all. Saeran shudders at the fantasy, cold and unnatural and fuelled by years of spite he'd tried so hard to bury. Fuel that has been set alight by his passion, his obsession with his brother and the need to make him _see_ Saeran, to finally acknowledge him and all the pain he caused. How much of his attack on the RFA had been a cry for attention?

Saeran couldn't say for sure. What he does know is he's got his brother's attention now, that fact enough to overcome any other emotion - a hot burning feeling so similar to his past anger, where the rage built up and up until he would finally lash out and get release. Yet it's also very different, filled with yearning to... to...!

(My love) he thinks back emphatically, hand automatically moving to Saeyoung's cock and stroking it. (My one, my hyung...!) His head buzzes with so many thoughts and feelings and voices, he doesn't even know if it's all him.

(Close, so close-)

(Can't get enough... of your face - your body,)

(Mine. Mine, can't leave, won't let you, never ever ever ever)

(Come to me. Come for me.)

( _Come_ )

**Saeyoung**

He curls into Saeran, grasping him like he's the only thing keeping him alive, pressing into the hand that only has to touch him a little to -

\- but it's not the hand that is the final straw, it's the words, the words in his head telling him he's never allowed to leave, that he belongs to Saeran, the words that seek to own and devour him whole and never let another person so much as look at him again, Saeran's, Saeran's, only Saeran's, he'll never leave, he can't, he's not allowed to look away even once, he -

he -

"Saeran! I'm yours, I'm-" (only you you you you own me complete me fill me need me have me take me yours, yours, yours, I'll never leave your side, I'll always look at you, only you, only-)

He comes hard, clinging and moaning so roughly it feels and sounds close to sobbing.

**Saeran**

One final thrust is all it takes for Saeran to join in, the slap of the flesh harsh and the moan even harsher. His fingers scratch up the skin of Sayoung's thighs, like a cat that doesn't want to give up its prize prey.

Which is precisely what Saeyoung is. His treasure. For better or worse.

And no one was allowed to steal his brother away, not even himself.

Though his cum is quickly spent, coating every part of Saeyoung's inner walls, Saeran is still unwilling to pull out and let go. Wanting to lay his claim a little longer.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung finally allows himself to release his grip on his twin - much as he wants to keep holding on... he wants to see his lover’s face…

 (Oh... he's...)

He needs to capture this.

Just as he thinks it, his hand finds the cold, sharp corner of Saeran's phone just off to his right.

(Thank you god, amen.)

Whether it's god or just Saeran's good planning, Saeyoung is grateful for it.

(Because the way he looks is...)

He picks the phone up, and swipes to take a photo, not needing to unlock it for that.

Saeran looks...

he's... he sits, still buried deep in Saeyoung, sweaty and just as covered in fluid, eyes dark and body language possessive...

Saeran is always beautiful, always beguiling to Saeyoung. But this is a special kind of beauty only he can experience, and -

\- he captures the image perfectly.

He's... going to need to ask Saeran to send him them later.

So many sides to his twin, so much to explore...

...looking at him like this... he's still an angel...

...one ready to strike down all that stands between him and what he wants.

**Saeran**

"An angel..." Saeran mutters, pleased by that train of thought and not entirely conscious of it _being_ a thought. The connection between the two of them still raw.

Which is helpful, otherwise Saeran might begin to hate himself right about now. Instead, he leans down to kiss his twin lovingly and deftly steal his phone back from Saeyoung's grip.

"That's right," He purrs, much more confident than usual, "I'm your angel. Your guardian angel. I'll look after you now..."

After all, Saeyoung belonged to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But wait, THERE'S MORE. Look forward to the intense aftermath of this~
> 
> And yup. We're definitely going to continue exploring the twin's psychic bond after this. We have a lot of fun with it~


	7. Weak things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran struggles to deal with everything he's just done with his twin. Now that they're done, suddenly he's not so sure this was all a good idea...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a month since the last chapter, yikes. I should be able to get them out much faster after this, just been a demanding month. 
> 
> Given it's been so long: just a reminder, the twins unlocked a mild telepathic link in the previous chapter. Don't want anyone to be confused if they forgot that part since reading it! ^^

**Saeyoung**

Saeran truly looks like an angel, face lit by the monitors of Saeyoung’s hacking room. Ethereal. Eternal. 

(When we're together... we're unmatched. No one can break us when we join hands...)

Except for each other.

"I can't fear anything with an angel like you guarding me."

**Saeran**

As far as pet names go, Saeran thinks 'angel' is a pretty good one. He'd do anything to see his brother safe... and with him.

Was there anywhere safer?

There's no denying that they were formidable on their own. Together, they're unstoppable.

Smiling down at Saeyoung, Saeran angles his phone to snap a picture of his twin. It's only fair.

Unlike Saeran though, Saeyoung doesn't look angelic at all. Roughed up and covered in jizz and sweat, mouth a little bloody from their kiss... He looks raw and carnal and completely mortal, lying defeated on the desk. The very desk he used to fight against Saeran, as his brother attacked the messenger he created.

Even so, Saeyoung somehow shines with unadulterated love, strong enough to light up his entire face and survive such rough treatment. Like a diamond. Or...

Saeran's eyes catches sight of Saeyoung's earring, glinting in the low light.

(A fallen star... Who bridged the distance between heaven and hell, to find peace on Earth with me. No matter the cost.) The religious tone isn't lost on Saeran, nor the reference to That Name. This game had an undercurrent of punishment and repentance near the end, after all.

It… starts to make Saeran uncomfortable. Skin crawling at the thought of their sins so on display.

Becoming more aware of the wrongness, Saeran takes a second look at Saeyoung. His stomach drops.

While his twin seemed happy enough, there was no denying the abuse he suffered.

(For me...) The earlier anxiety around pushing things too far, getting too in touch with a part of him he struggles to accept in this new world, returns with a vengeance.

Putting the phone aside, Saeran pulls out shakily, spilling fluids on the desk and floor when he does. His eyes are drawn inexorably to the sticky mess, and – he freezes.

(The violet…)

It had fallen out of Saeyoung's hair to the ground, left wilting. Now, it was covered in semen. The imagery is so potent that for a moment it leaves Saeran feeling weak.

**Saeyoung**

(Saeran…?)

Saeyoung casts his eyes down, but from where he sits, he can’t see the violet, fallen and soiled on the ground. He doesn’t even realise it’s no longer in his hair.

But… something has changed. Saeran seems so much smaller and more fragile, in just a single heartbeat.

“Saeran…?” He reaches out to touch his twin’s arm.

He’d get off the desk and give him a full hug, but… he just needs a second… to recover…

He feels like if he tried to stand at this exact moment, he might just fall.

**Saeran**

Broken pots. Soil scattered. Petals torn. Weak weak _weak_ things that deserved to be destroyed.

Alone, Saeran may have been a formidable opponent, but he was also his own worst enemy. Prone to self-destruction and ruining everything he loved, just to get a small taste of power.

It's no surprise. Most of his life he'd been passive and frail. Relying on others to the point of being disenfranchised, only able to exercise his own agency against himself.

And now he'd roped Saeyoung into that fight. It's unfair. His twin wanted to give him the best, but...

There's little a person can do to protect someone against themselves.

(This, is…)

Is he heading backwards, again? Towards the past? His destructive self...

If they continue… of course… it’s inevitable. It will become more than just rough sex and a defiled flower. Saeran will surely destroy everything. At this moment, the possibility is all too real to Saeran. Enough to make him start hyperventilating, terrified and lost in the horror of the thought.

(I can't do this I can't lose him I can't risk it I can't be here I can't I can't I can't)

He barely registers Saeyoung's touch or voice.

**Saeyoung**

He can’t hear Saeran’s thoughts in his mind any more. But he can feel his twin's inner self coiling inwards in fear, being dragged inexorably downwards. Circling itself like predator and prey, all in one being.

It hurts, to stand so suddenly after having been fucked so roughly and so thoroughly...

But Saeran needs…

…him?

Maybe he needs something else, too. But.

Saeyoung only has himself to offer right now.

So he slides off the desk, wincing a little, and wraps one arm around his younger brother, Saeran’s own arms hanging loosely at his sides. His twin’s expression is distant and – (God, is this my fault? Did I do this to him…?)

Whatever the cause, right now he just needs a solution.

Saeyoung raises his other arm to rest at the back of Saeran’s head, tangling his fingers into his brother’s hair, gently encouraging Saeran to rest his head on Saeyoung’s shoulder.

“Saeran… you’re here, I’m here… you’re safe, I’m safe… I love you, Saeran, I love you…”

(I’m here… I’m here… I’ll listen to you, I’ll help you, I’ll love you… so stay with me…)

**Saeran**

It's not an instant fix, but the reminders help. Saeyoung being there, supportive and determined and intact. Fallen, maybe, but still flourishing. Like a weed.

Saeran always liked weeds, as troublesome as they could be. They were persistent and beautiful as any other flower. The mental image sticks with him, halting the anxiety attack in its tracks. Grounding Saeran back to reality.

(Saeyoung's flower isn't a weed, but...)

Saeran's could be.

Like the name 'Luciel' his twin had taken, it was manifestation of his own determination. Saeyoung had always been the positive one in Saeran's eyes, finding the light even when encompassed in darkness. Being that light if there wasn't any. Truly, a star.

And like a weed, Saeran will take what he can get and survive the darkness, even if he's more predisposed to it. Slowly, Saeran's breathing evens out, and he rubs his face into Saeyoung's shoulder. Apologetic.

This was going to be a challenge sometimes. He knew that. He can face it.

"Saeyoung... you're so bright... I want to bask in your presence forever," he manages.

"Thank you..."

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung presses his lips against his twin’s neck, inhaling deeply. Then several more, firm kisses that anchor them to the now.

“Always… always, Saeran… I love you always… I’ll do my best for you, too…” He strokes his brother’s hair. “It goes both ways Saeran… you protect me, I protect you… you’re my reason to shine… so that you’ll always find me.” He holds Saeran close, comforted by the sound of his breathing slowing, his body’s trembling gradually stilling.

“Let’s go shower, Saeran… you’ll feel better.”

**Saeran**

(It was a game.) Saeran reminds himself. No matter how real it had gotten. Accepting Saeyoung's need to help him was fine. Saeran wasn't abusing him or taking advantage of his support.

(That's not... who we want to be, it was just... a fantasy.)

One that explored their desires. Which _were_ a part of him, and Saeyoung too, but...

Consensually. Safely.

Knowing neither of them really wanted that life. Only playing with the thought, and accepting that uglier, scarier parts of themselves...

Saeran could trust his brother on that.

In… out.

Inhale... exhale.

They're finished. It's fine. There's no darker meaning to Saeyoung caring for him now. He can accept it. There's nothing wrong.

Neither of them had corrupted the other, were a burden, or a victim. Their love was pure. Always.

Saeran's certain.

"...a shower sounds good."

They both need to clean up, and cleanse their hearts of the depravity they had played in.

Saeyoung especially needs to be taken care of now, after everything Saeran had put him through. Including his small meltdown.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung glances around, readjusting to his surroundings. Saeran had been his entire world for the last while, after all.

His wireless mouse is on the floor, knocked there by their fucking. He squats down (o-ow…) to pick it up and close the CCTV feed – it feels weird to have it still reflecting them now, while they’re vulnerable like this. Different to before.

He leaves the mouse on the desk, but doesn’t bother picking up the keyboard, which had also been knocked to the floor. Several keys have popped off from the impact of it hitting the ground. It’s not worth bothering with right now, and it’s not like it’s going to get any worse if he leaves it where it is.

But as he glances down again, he notices – (a-aah...)

The violet, looking very much worse for wear. Not that it would have ever held its own for more than a day once it was separated from its plant.

Alone, it was always going to wilt. It was always going to slowly fade away…

He shivers.

Then stands fully upright again, with another brief flash of discomfort on his face.

(Relaxing, warm water… and holding him… that’s what I want…)

He reaches out, taking Saeran’s hand. Pressing it to his heart.

“Let’s go…”

**Saeran**

A sliver of anxiety crawls into Saeran's heart at Saeyoung's attempt to appear strong for him, wiggling around like a worm.

"Sorry... that I'm so pathetic."

His gaze drops to the hand pressed against Saeyoung's chest, "I want to be stronger… and make you happy..."

Though he knows better, a part of Saeran still can't help condemning himself.

"You're finding it difficult to move, aren't you? Let me carry you. I'll take care of you now."

Honestly, Saeran needs to. It'll affirm that his heart is in the right place, that he hasn't intrinsically changed from the brother Saeyoung had fallen for.

**Saeyoung**

The protective part of him wants to question, with things like: “Are you sure? You must be tired too. I’ll be okay… you don’t have to worry about me. You worked hard.”

But…

Today had been a day of listening to his twin. _Really_ listening.

He’d always thought he had listened, but… today, he heard Saeran in a way he hadn’t quite been able to before.

Part of that had shown him that Saeran needs to be able to feel like a protector too, just as much as his older brother. That expressing too much concern could make him feel useless.

Saeyoung can’t just change in an instant, but can listen, and try. And on the flipside… maybe he can start learning how to accept being cared for.

So…

(Please look after me… I’m in your care… I trust you…)

“Please…”

He wraps his arms around Saeran’s shoulders, not questioning, just trusting.

**Saeran**

In their game Saeran had made Saeyoung beg and enjoyed it. But nothing actually beats Saeyoung asking him for his help, completely heartfelt and trusting.

Pressing a light kiss to the edge of Saeyoung's lips, Saeran cautiously picks him up. Every step to the bathroom is slow and steady, Saeran taking him time to conserve his strength and not jostle Saeyoung more than necessary. Strangely, the more progress he makes down the hall, the sounder he feels in spirit and body.

(We can always move on if we're together.)

They can do this. They'll weather any storm.

He can do this.

(Just... don't let go...)

Setting Saeyoung down onto the tile once they reach their destination, Saeran takes his hand and squeezes it tightly - the other turning the shower knob.

**Saeyoung**

Every step is another note played in the song Saeyoung writes in his head, a melody with two voices, a strange harmony that works only in his mind.

The water from the shower head warms quickly, and they step underneath it, still hand in hand.

“Saeran…”

As they start to relax beneath the water, Saeyoung pulls Saeran close, wrapping his free arm around his twin, the water trickling down their faces and into their mouths, a mixture of pure water and salt from their exertions…

Then he brings his hand to his twin’s cheek, stroking it with his thumb.

His brother’s eyes look so different here in the light.

Saeran looks back at him, silently, his thoughts not reaching Saeyoung right now…

(I…)

Saeyoung leans in, gently brushing his lips against his twin’s, kissing him softly as the water continues to run down their faces.

(I love you…)

**Saeran**

Saeran doesn't need a psychic mind link to know what his brother means by that, and he kisses back equally soft and affectionate. His tongue laps at Saeyoung's mouth, brushing away the mess with the help of the hot water.

Sexual exhaustion can't stop him from kissing his twin, while everything else around them washes away... until it's only their love mingling through each other's mouths.

**Saeyoung**

Their kisses continue a while, chaste and loving, and they even lend themselves to the twins getting a little bit cleaner.

At some point, they’re probably going to have to talk, but for now, the priority for them both is simply to wash away everything that has come before.

Finally, they finish up and go to towel themselves off. As Saeran towels off his hair, Saeyoung leans against the sink and watches a minute, just enjoying seeing Saeran doing something so domestic and normal.

Because they could be like that too.

Saeran offers to carry him to bed, too, and Saeyoung gladly accepts, although now he can definitely feel bruises forming in places that come into contact with Saeran’s arms as he walks. (It’s fine… they’ll heal…)

He appreciates how gently Saeran places him in bed before climbing up beside him.

**Saeran**

Settling next to his brother, Saeran fluffs the pillows a little then pulls up the blankets to tuck Saeyoung in. Obviously doting.

"Do you need anything? Tea? ...pain killers?"

Saeran knows from experience how much one can ache after such rough sex. And right now it's easier to shower Saeyoung with affection than talk about... about what they just did, and what triggered him.

Even so, his expression betrays him a little. It isn't teary, but there's a melancholy ever-present on his face.

**Saeyoung**

Looking like that, Saeyoung doesn't really want his brother to leave his sight, but at the same time there's something to be said for the comfort of tea... especially if shared.

"Would you... drink some with me?"

**Saeran**

Just like that, the melancholy is chased away by relief and gratitude. The smile Saeran gives Saeyoung as warm as any tea and just as comforting.

"Ah... I'd be happy to. Sit tight."

Giving his twin's cheek a quick peck, Saeran slips off the bed. Goal in mind, it doesn't take him long to get to the kitchen and start the kettle. Being productive perking him up, particularly if it's for the sake of his beloved.

Once he has the tea, Saeran's about to head right back - no detours.

... but there is one detour.

Saeyoung really had a thing for his 'babes', to the point his bunker had skylights into the garage. Now Saeran is growing plants in there too, the view actually isn't half bad - no longer the over-industrial aesthetic his twin seemed so fond of.

There... was no saving the violet. Saeran knows that. It was doomed the moment he had picked it for Saeyoung's hair.

What matters is that it was something he wanted to share with his brother... and that there were plenty more where that came from.

It takes some extra time, probably making Saeyoung impatient. But Saeran thinks he'd appreciate the gesture.

Making his way back to bed, with a tray full of tea, snacks, and a vase of violets, Saeran places it directly in front of Saeyoung.

"Tada~"

Hopefully, the playfulness will perk Saeyoung up too.

**Saeyoung**

(He's... adorable...)

Saeyoung is delighted by everything his brother has put together for them both, but most of all by his cute announcement of his entrance.

"Oh, there's so much love~" he replies playfully, "And only some of it's hidden," he adds, admiring the violets. As Saeran sets down the tray, Saeyoung leans over to inhale the scent of the flowers from the vase.

The smell is sweet. And gentle.

"They grew so well thanks to you," Saeyoung comments, as his twin pours the tea from where it had been steeping in a pot into two cups. "We should..."

He pauses. Is this the right time to say something like this?

It doesn't feel _wrong_...

"... It'd be nice if we had a garden. A big garden. Outside..."

He accepts a cup, looking up at Saeran's face. "I'm not good at it like you are, but I'd love to help you grow something... make a garden path... hang up a wind chime..."

**Saeran**

Talking to Saeyoung like this makes Saeran feel a little better. It makes Saeran feel that there are aspects to him that are acceptable. Lovable, even.

(He really doesn't have an eye for plants though...)  Not if he thought they were doing well in the garage. Saeran's best efforts couldn't change that.

It makes the topic of a garden rather apt, and Saeran can't help but smile at the thought. Imagining what it'd look like.

... once upon a time... Saeyoung had asked him to think about the kind of house he'd like to live in, if they ever escaped their mother together.

It’s one of the few fond memories Saeran had of his childhood. That it was still important to Saeyoung felt good. Thinking about the possibilities of domestic life together appealed to Saeran too.

"We could have picnics together, or stargaze, or both. There's some flowers that you can make bloom at night and they look like can glow, too... you'd like those."

Like the Mint Eye garden. His one respite. A place that doesn't send him spiralling to remember. It felt like his space. Much more so than the hacking room he’d spent most of his time in, at the cult…

"...it could be our own little world."

He’s never gotten the chance to make a home before. The bunker... it wasn't his, despite Saeyoung making room for him here.

Looking down into his tea, Saeran leans against his twin. Finally breathing easy. "Thanks for talking to me like this."

Being normal... enjoying each other’s company... chatting about their hopes and dreams...

It's healing, after he expressed and revealed so much else. Makes Saeran want to be this warm to Saeyoung, always.

"I hope you like your tea."

**Saeyoung**

"Mmmm. It's good... thank you for sharing it with me..."

He leans back against Saeran, too, turning his head just a little to place a tea-scented kiss on his cheek.

"I'd like... a telescope..." he murmurs, also revisiting his memories of when they'd discussed it as children. "And... I want to see those bright flowers... and I want to look at you, standing in our garden alongside them. Although I'll be distracted from the flowers by your handsome face, hehe~"

He pats Saeran's leg under the blankets with his foot. "You smell the best, too~" He takes another sip of tea, sitting up a little more so that he doesn't spill it. "Oh, and, a swing...! We talked about a swing as kids, didn’t we? Ah, and..."

He practically vibrates with excitement, "...a little pond..."

He could build his own fountain fountains, program it to do different patterns with different lighting throughout the night...

**Saeran**

Face flushing from the compliments, Saeran wonders at the shift in tone. Only a short time ago he was ashamed he'd been born at all, undeserving of being Saeyoung's twin. And when he thinks about it too long, or sees the bruises slowly flowering on Saeyoung's skin, he feels like bursting into tears.

Thankfully, his happiness - as fragile as it is - outweighs his self-pity. Something about being close with his brother so tenderly filling him up with light.

The tea helps too.

And the praise.

(Who's comforting who?)

(... why not both?)

(He's always said we're the same.)

"You know... I could go anywhere, as long as I'm with you, Saeyoung," he replies truthfully. Saeran needs him, under no conditions. It is very important to communicate that after the night they've had. "We wouldn't have to settle down anywhere at all."

Which could be a lot of fun, thinking about it. Traveling to places unknown, _being_ unknown, discovering the unknown. Saeran always enjoyed being anonymous to everyone but the people that mattered to him. Particularly when it entailed digging up all manner of curiosities.

"Who says we have to put down roots?"

**Saeyoung**

"Is there anywhere in particular you'd like to go?" Saeyoung asks with a great deal of curiosity.

It made sense that Saeran would have some wanderlust...

...and Saeyoung has learned so many languages, they could probably get by in most places... Saeran would be able to pick things up fast too, of course... because, he's Saeran.

The two of them...

"I had to visit other places for work, but... never because I'd decided to on my own... going to the beach with you is the closest I've had to traveling for fun, haha..."

**Saeran**

There's so much choice, Saeran doesn't know where to start.

"I don't know." He shrugs, drinking more tea, "Somewhere with a lot of nature... where there's plenty to explore. But it has to be a place we can have time to ourselves too."

His eyes drift to the violets. Saeran didn't have many things he could show Saeyoung. His breadth of experiences was very limited compared to his twin.

But there was enough Saeran knew that he did want to share too.

"... when you left, I learned hacking because it was something I could share with you. I wanted to be you, because you always said we're the same."

Saeyoung likely felt similar about his own interests and areas of expertise. Thus the sudden interest in botany, and the language of flowers.

"I don't... like hacking. And it's fine if we don't have the same tastes in things. That was just me being lonely, and... I like being different too." Despite his recent efforts and focus on matching Saeyoung again, as a way to reclaim their shared identity. It was complicated to explain. Saeran can only trust that his other half truly understands what it means to be another half.

"All the differences we have, and the desire to know more about each other, and trying something new... just for us, that's what made the seaside so fun."

It's also what had made their 'game' fun. Thinking of it like that gives Saeran some peace. "So places with subjects you know a lot about, where there's a lot you could share with me, would be perfect."

Speaking of special interests, markedly in relation to sex... it was probably now or never to mention... "Ah. Did... did you still want to hear about the flowers, by the way?"

Saeran _had_ promised to tell Saeyoung the flowers he’d picked out for himself and his twin before all this started, after all.

But, Saeyoung might not even want to talk about the flowers anymore. Saeran had used them as an excuse to start their game, and... he isn't sure how his brother ultimately felt about it.

To be fair, Saeran's still mixed up too.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung finishes his tea, and curls up around his sitting twin, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his head on his closest thigh.

"I doooooooooooo..." he mumbles into Saeran's leg. "I wanna know so bad..."

(But do I deserve it? I said some messed up stuff to him... I saw how he looked...)

He clings tighter.

"Tell me about the flowers... please."

**Saeran**

Finishing his tea, Saeran deposits the cups back on the tray and places it on the bedside table safely out of the way. It's only then he lets himself ease completely down into reciprocal cuddles.

"For you I chose geraniums... their meaning is 'I'm happy because of you'..."

Sensing the way Saeyoung's heart squeezed, Saeran bumps up against his twin for emphasis, pressing together their foreheads like he could communicate telepathically that way.

(Seems like we're not on the same wavelength right now... I can’t hear his thoughts.)

"It's still true." Saeyoung's existence gave him a reason to be happy. Thinking about him gave Saeran purpose to live. In return, all Saeran had wanted...

"For myself, I chose 'forget-me-nots'."

Their meaning was clear. Saeran had tried hard to be patient, and believed with all his heart Saeyoung was waiting for him too. Never forgetting about it.

It turns out, he was right. A lot happened to make him doubt his faith, when he should have trusted his intuition.

Describing his own flower is... a bit embarrassing though...

"Uh... there's more to the meaning than its name, but you get the idea." Saeran doesn't want to overwhelm Saeyoung either. Easier said than done after the intensity of their sex, leaving Saeran's emotions running wild, but the fear of burdening Saeyoung too much so soon keeps him well enough in check.

"...I would've told you anyway." In case Saeyoung really thought he had to earn hearing about it.

(We've established paranoia runs in the family.)

"You... you can ask me anything."

**Saeyoung**

"I... want to ask you everything..."

Saeyoung, too, is musing on the fact their brief telepathic link seems to have grown quiet again. It’s only a theory – they would need to try experimenting with it much more – but it had stopped working again, as soon as Saeran had begun to panic… perhaps distress and guilt blocked out their ability to hear each other?

"Those meanings... I'm happy you told me... though... I..."

He sounds small, and a little lost.

"Can I really claim that meaning? Just now... I started thinking about everything..."

What they'd done… was it really okay...? Or was this just the beginning of a spiral, each brother taking turns to pull the other lower?

Young Saeran... choosing flowers for them both... so sweetly...

...the adult Saeran just now, looking lost, even miserable, that flower on the floor...

"Saeran... I'm..."

(I'm scared. I'm scared that maybe I was right the first time, when I left.)

(That being with me is going to suffocate you.)

(That maybe now it's only a matter of time before you realise that... that I'm not worthy of that flower.)

(That we're just lying to each other...)

(We connected the most... our bond worked the best... when we were in such a dark place...)

He doesn't know if these thoughts are logical or illogical.

He's spent so much of his life filing away emotions, preferably unlabelled, never to be seen again.

Only Saeran could make him to start re-linking all these feelings...

...but it's so jumbled up.

(Every time I think I've grasped it, that I think I understand, every time I feel like now I know what's right and wrong, something new happens and I realise I don't understand anything at all.)

One minute he's fine, the next...

There's the question he'd had, back when they started this, when he was alone.

"If I hadn't taken you to this bedroom that night and kissed you... do you think we still would have become lovers?"

He inhales, shifting uncomfortably. "I'm sorry... that was a stupid question... an unfair question... I just. What we did. I feel like I opened a bunch of boxes all at once and I'm still scared to look inside."

He wipes at his eyes. "I'm glad you can't hear what I'm thinking right now because it turns out I'm kind of a mess.” He smiles, weakly. “I need you but I don't even know what I want to ask for. But what you said was lovely and you don't deserve me going to pieces like this at all. I'm sorry."

**Saeran**

Saeyoung's anxiety is painful in its familiarity. Of all the things they had in common, Saeran wishes it wasn't that.

"Don't apologize. I used to feel the same way..."

It was those exact feelings that had Saeran running away in the first place.

"Sometimes I still do." Like tonight. There was a lot that is difficult to process about it.

But Saeyoung has a point that those feelings go beyond tonight.

"That day on the couch... when I had to leave to clear my head, it was because of what you're going through now."

Or close to it. "I was scared of who I was becoming, when I spent a long time rejecting that person.” He inhales deeply, calming himself with the fresh scent of his brother’s skin.

“Then when we did consummate our love, I felt so complete and _right_ for the first time, it... it was convenient to forget about..." (Who I used to be. Cherry picking that parts of me I wanted to be.)

"...tonight helped me recognize myself. It's still scary, and I'm a coward, and... I remember when we first made love, how you said you're afraid you wouldn't have limits anymore... I am too." That's what made seeing the ruined flower so potent. Why Saeran had been triggered.

... that was on him. Saeyoung had been so good and patient throughout the whole night. But it mattered the most when Saeran had freaked out.

Saeran wants to offer Saeyoung the same strength. "It's okay to feel this way. We went through something really intense."

Saeran certainly was still reeling. Yet talking through it with Saeyoung... Felt like the right thing to do.

Saeran offers Saeyoung a watery smile, the tears contagious. Crying... Didn't feel bad though. Like the water on the shower, they felt cleansing.

"None of it changes how happy you make me feel at heart. That's why I'm willing to listen and answer you. Always."

There were no stupid or weak questions.

"It's okay to be honest with me. That's what I asked for myself, isn't it?" And if they're speaking honestly...

"Besides, it wasn't all bad. There was... a lot I really liked about tonight."

Saeran's voice is shy at the admission. "That's why it's scary too. I keep reminding myself that was the point." His heart thuds loudly in his ears, hearing himself confess to that out loud.

"There's a part of me afraid I'm trying to justify it, that I'm horrible and unworthy of you. I hear that voice every day at least once."

Before, it had been convenient to think that voice was a result of drugs.

Saeran isn't so naive now. "It sabotages every attempt I make to get better and be happy... Ignores logic and reason easily. Like the fact it was a game... It wasn't real. It wasn't us. We _do_ have limits, even if we play pretend that we don't. We... can play because we know that, deep down."

Taking Saeyoung's hand, Saeran places it over his chest this time. If they can't connect minds or hearts right now... then there’s this physical reminder.

Their constant heart beat was still there. Always.

" What I'm saying is, it's not you. I was being self-destructive. I let it get the better of me... And, of course that affects you too."

Which is the scariest thing of all. Knowing that Saeran could drag Saeyoung down with him.

"I'm sorry... I love you..." Saying that feels final, despite the fact there's so much more to say.

Although there is one thing…

"... As for the day _I_ dragged _you_ to the bedroom..."

Seems they remember that very differently. Saeran isn't about to have Saeyoung rob his agency in that narrative though, particularly not if it makes his twin feel sorry for himself.

"I thought us being together like that was inevitable. There was only so long either of us could deny those feelings..." Changing the past couldn't change the fact they were destiny. If not then, there would have been another time and place.

"Feelings we kept bottled up burst out. At least, that's how it was for me."

Thinking about it, those raw moments weren't too different from now, or earlier.

"Maybe the problem is that we get carried away with those emotions sometimes." It results in them riding a high, and then when their awareness catches up causes them to crash.

"So eager to be with one another, we  become blind to the issues with our obsession... No wonder it bites us in the ass."

As serious as the conversation (monologue) is... Saeran doesn't want to depress Saeyoung further. Playfully, he nips at the tips of his twin's fingers in tandem with his words. A small affection.

"Then we think about it... and think about it... and obsess over it, and that's dangerous too."

It’s what's happening right now. "Which is why we end up doubting... you're not alone in that. There's times I think that you should be with someone normal... that you'd make a great parent one day, and that you deserve something better than a broken little brother that's in love with you and can't handle it." The words rush out of his mouth like a torrential river released from a dam. Saeran didn't mean to divulge this much and his surprised at himself for it.

(You always have to make things about you.)

The internal voice is cruel as always, but Saeran knows it’s wrong. He’s trying to expose his heart and reassure his twin that what he sees is what he gets.

"If... you feel the same way too, I understand."

Squeezing Saeyoung's fingers, Saeran gives them a kiss.

"We'll just protect each other from them and keep growing, right?"

**Saeyoung**

"I have... so much growing to do, Saeran..."

Saeyoung runs his thumb over the back of Saeran's hand, drawing small circles. "I keep thinking I have things worked out... and then discovering that there's so much more and I just hadn't been looking at all."

He shifts so he can free his other hand to stroke Saeran's hair again. He never gets tired of that... of touching any part of him, really.

"I thought I was already listening to you... I hang on your every word. I love your voice, the way you construct sentences, your tastes... but when I couldn't speak at all, I realised there's still so much more to hear.”

His voice is sincere. "I... want to listen. "I want to do better."

He nuzzles into Saeran, the wetness on their faces combined, just like they've shared everything else.

"And... being more vulnerable with you... letting go of control to you... I... want to be protected by you, too. I want to be comforted by you. I want to be weak in your arms sometimes. And that's hard... to allow myself. When I start to think about doing it, I suddenly think you'll hate me.

"But... I want to be with you. Even though I'm going to fall flat on my face many times more. I don't want to give you up. And. I'm still scared to look at all the reasons why. But... the loudest reason in my heart is just... I love you..."

He feels the anxiety draining away little by little as he speaks, and as he lays side by side, slowly syncing his breath with his twin again, he can _feel_ it...

Like pins and needles, from putting too much pressure on a limb, but now the blood can flow again.

Their connection.

If he tries to speak to Saeran without his voice right now… he’s pretty certain Saeran will hear.

(So I just have to be open to you, and not trapped in my own head... is that it? Is it that simple?)

**Saeran**

(Yes.)

Saeran exhales, relieved to connect to Saeyoung again. That it wasn't just a phenomenon that required pushing their limits with sex.

Of course, there might be more to it. It'd make sense for it to require strong emotion, or to have the same understanding...

But it was simple. Their hearts and minds had to be open to receiving these feelings.

Which would explain why it always felt to Saeran that his twin was much better at the whole twin intuition thing than he was.

"Usually... when you find true love, that's the end. Happily ever after. So we've come to expect that, and have been trapped by it. It hasn't given us the means to understand why we might feel certain ways contrary to what we've been told."

There was no such ideal ending. Even together with his brother, there were plenty of evils and challenges left to face. Some of which they had created themselves.

It's a lot like the narrative surrounding villains that was popular at Mint Eye too. That there was no saving some people from pain, no matter what. That's why it was better to accept it and live in a perpetual cycle of suffering and peace. Never trusting anyone except the Saviour.

She had been wrong. Saeran could face his pain and be happier for it, despite any difficulties. That went for their relationship too.  "What matters is we can be free from that, if we want to be. It's difficult... but we can work at it. And that's true happiness."

Or so Saeran thinks. Who knows. They might find new happiness if they level up some more.

That potential of their life that makes it worthwhile.

**Saeyoung**

"I guess from here on, we tell the story ourselves, huh... and there's no template to follow."

He smiles at Saeran, relieved by the barely perceptible link he can feel between them still.

"I want to tell..." he kisses the hand that holds his tightly, "the best stories with you..."

(No one has ever seen me for myself, like you. No one could hear me through my own messed up thoughts.)

Another kiss.

"And you... rising again and again... beautiful... no matter what struggle you face... you're strong, and passionate, and... uh..."

He blushes.

"...w-wild..."

His smile turns into a goofy, affectionate grin.

"...and sweet... is it any wonder, then... that I'm always thinking about you... not just because of this bond... our shared history... our blood...”

Saeyoung’s voice grows softer. "Is it any wonder that I'd fall so in love with you..."

He runs his hand from Saeran's hair to his cheek.

"... even through all my fears."

**Saeran**

Over their time together, Saeran has grown accustomed to his brother's compliments. They're lovely and warm, like he's sitting outside on a sunny day.

Unfortunately, he still hasn't gotten used to receiving them, at least outside of their love-making.

"A...ah..."

Speechless and shy, Saeran's cheeks glow a becoming red.

What he says and does isn't as big of a deal as Saeyoung makes it out to be, he thinks. Saeran can't be considered wholly responsible for who he is today.

"...I couldn't... do or be any of that without you."

**Saeyoung**

"Part of me wishes that was true... a dark and selfish part of me..."

His smile becomes a little self-deprecating. "Because... it'd mean you'd have to stay with me."

He squeezes Saeran's hand.

"But... it's not true... you could do it without me... I know it. But I… I hope you stay by my side..."

A small kiss, this time on Saeran's nose. "And... even if you can be those things without me. I do think... we shine the brightest... together."

**Saeran**

"...we really are similar."

Many of the compliments Saeyoung gives him, he could return. It's a fact Saeyoung could go alone without Saeran and live a good life with good friends, and probably find a beautiful lover if he tried.

They just expressed themselves differently.

In ways that complemented the other and made them shine, like a prism held up to the sun. Casting the most marvellous rainbow.

Saeyoung was right. No one else could manage to make them that luminous, because they were mirrors that angled the light to strike just right.

It's a beautiful picture, Saeyoung's words so easily able to spark Saeran's imagination too.

"You're so inventive... I love that. I want to be with you too..."

Which is more important than their mutual need and obligation as brothers. It's an informed choice.

**Saeyoung**

"Then... stay with me... protect me... help me untangle everything inside me... love me... I'll do the same for you... even when I'm scared... and confused..."

He almost feels like he’s confessing to Saeran all over again.

He’ll happily do it, every day for the rest of his life.

"When I'm afraid... so long as I know you have faith in me... you trust me... you love me..." He strokes Saeran's cheek. "I can survive in this world... even so full of doubt... not understanding myself... no matter how scared I get. So long as I know I have that... I can face anything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a long time because originally I was going to end the fic here and start a new fic for their date the next day, and I've been agonising over the editing.
> 
> However their date the next day is as much aftercare as what the twins do here, so I've decided to include their (very sweet) date the day after as a sort of epilogue to their rougher play in most of this fic ^^ So I've expanded the chapter count accordingly.


	8. A single point, containing everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran fusses his brother some more after their rough sex the night before, and then they head out to a planetarium for a date, where... they see someone they know?!

**Saeran**

Whispered words of love were exchanged until both twins drifted to sleep, comforted and closer than ever.

Nevertheless, Saeran still feels a need to dote on Saeyoung the next day. As nice as it'd be to simply curl up in bed with him, there's joy in getting to lavish Saeyoung with attention too.

Saeran goes out of his way to make breakfast in bed (waiting until Saeyoung woke up, of course.) Then moves on to doing chores around the house most of the morning, so that his brother won't have to worry about it. That includes fixing the destroyed keyboard (whoops) and cleaning his room (an endeavour, but probably worth it for them both in the long run.)

He doesn't mind. In the interim, Saeyoung has been set up with a laptop, his phone, and anything else he could ask for - including kisses and cuddles when demanded.

At some point when putting away their purchases from yesterday properly, Saeran gets an idea... one Saeyoung was going to love.

Knocking on his bedroom door, Saeran waits for Saeyoung to call him in.

**Saeyoung**

(Hmmmmm~)

(Come in~)

But he says it out loud too, not sure if they need to be touching for their mental link to work, or how reliable it is for now.

**Saeran**

Saeran doesn't hear it, but he feels the intent. It's enough to make his mouth twitch into a smile as he enters the room.

On his head is a set of cat ears.

"Everything's cleaned up meow."

It’s _terrible._ But he knows it’ll make his brother smile.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung starts giggling, as expected.

"S.....Saeran! Ahah....ahahah.... oh my god..." A beat, then: "…you look purrfect~"

He grins, a little more lewdly this time. "That'd go great with the one of my maid costumes too, hehe... maybe I should request that next time you offer to do my chores <3"

He pats the bed next to him. "Wanna get stroked?"

**Saeran**

"Maybe." Saeran hedges at the costume suggestion. The cat ears were already embarrassing enough to wear…

But worth it to see Saeyoung laugh. The stroking suggestion, however, is _much_ more appealing. Saeran slinks over to his brother, curling up next to him and nudging his face into Saeyoung's shoulder. Playing the part up for his twin's pleasure.

"You were saying...?"

Plus, he liked Saeyoung's touch.

**Saeyoung**

And Saeyoung liked touching.

He knows it'd be a bad idea to start anything when... he's still kinda getting over everything they did yesterday, not to mention not wanting to get too frisky before their evening date... but they can cuddle... right?

His track record for not escalating cuddles with his twin is close to zero, but. It's been done.

He has that power.

Somewhere.

Just.

Very well hidden.

He strokes Saeran's head between the fake cat ears.

"Oh, you're very soft... I wanna pat you all over..."

He strokes down Saeran's neck softly, running his hands over his shoulder and back.

"You must be worn out from working so hard... yesterday was a lot for you, too. Not that I'm complaining about being cared for so sweetly. I'll accept it any time~"

And. He _does_ ache. It was a blessing to just rest today. "Wanna watch something with me and relax a while? Pats included, as one of the many services I offer in return for getting to see you in those cute ears."

**Saeran**

The salacious comments were to be expected. Saeran opts to only respond to the last suggestion, for now. Saeyoung’s in no state to be starting anything too intense…

…probably.

"Sure. That sounds nice."

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung runs his hands down Saeran's flank.

"Good kitty~"

He can practically feel Saeran's full body eye roll (loving as it might be) from that.

"Haha, sorry. But, why don't we watch that show I was talking about yesterday...? With the twins... in that high school host club…"

He browses to the relevant folder, Saeran apparently content to let him choose.

It'll be interesting to see what Saeran thinks of the show... the twins in particular.

They settle in together comfortably, Saeyoung giving his twin plenty of stroking, some of it verging on a little _too_ cuddly for just watching something together, but fortunately the show keeps them both distracted enough to not escalated beyond causing a few little pleased shivers.

**Saeran**

It's a pretty cute show. They only make it up to episode five before they need to stop and prepare for their date, but that's enough to give Saeran a good understanding of the Hitachiin twins. There were surface similarities (he can certainly relate to the hair dye plot) but some clear differences too. For one thing, neither of them have a Haruhi in their life. For another, these twins were clearly privileged and always had a good relationship.

The hints that there was something more to their flirtations though...

Saeran understands why Saeyoung suggested this. Aside from the fact it was genuinely fun to watch, the show’s comedy aligned closely with his brother's own sense of humour, and it was surprisingly respectful of gender issues.

"We should keep watching this later." He suggests, as the fifth episode draws to an end. Clearly hooked. Right now they should get ready for their date, but now Saeran's invested. He’s fond of Haruhi especially, seeing a little of himself in her responses.

As for the host act... "Do you really think we could pull off something like that in real life though?"

Sure, the RFA party was based on romantic fantasy fulfillment, but twincest might be too much in reality.

**Saeyoung**

"Maybe not quite the way they do it," Saeyoung admits, happy with how invested Saeran's become already. "The focus would definitely need to be on the party guests, and us having them at our mercy as a team, rather than necessarily focusing on us alone. If that makes sense. Less play on romantic love, more play on brotherly... bonds. Appealing without being so blatant. But still giving us more opportunities to do as we’d like…

Anyone would think he'd been pondering this for a while.

**Saeran**

"You've been thinking about this."

Saeran isn't convinced they could manage it. Not without practice.

On the other hand, that might be used to their advantage too... the assured big brother helping the awkward little brother...

It's worth further consideration. But there's another hitch.

"What about the RFA? They'd need to be on board too."

Once again, there might be too many questions otherwise.

**Saeyoung**

"MC," Saeyoung says simply. "She already thinks we're cute. Don't you think? And she wanted to do that photo shoot."

He closes the laptop and grins at Saeran. "I don't think I'd do any damage if I casually suggested some ideas to her in that general direction next time we discuss Zen's role..."

It’s easy to forget Saeyoung has quite the talent for long term gambits and engineering social situations as much as code, given he never uses said skills on his brother.

"We don't have to push it, but, I'll happily leap on any excuse to keep less distance between us." Saeyoung says, motivation burning bright in his eyes.

**Saeran**

True, MC _is_ a weak link that could be easily manipulated into a plan far bigger than herself. Saeran finds himself nodding along. Maybe a little too easily.

“We can discuss it more later. Weren’t you planning on playing the girl, this time? It sounded like the dress you picked out is… complicated.”

**Saeyoung**

It’s not as bad as it sounds. Saeyoung just has to enlist his twin to help him do up the corset-style back. It’s a beautiful purple and blue dress, covered in stars – perfect, given the location for their next date.

The black cardigan he pairs with the dress softens the muscle of his arms, and with black tights, the whole look comes together nicely.

The finishing touch is another violet, tucked into the hair of his wig. The flower would probably only last half a day now that it's out of the vase, but that's plenty of time for their date. "It matches, don't you think?" Saeyoung adds coyly, as he notices Saeran noticing.

**Saeran**

(C...cute...)

Saeran can’t help but describe it any other way. It’s… cute how Saeyoung's latched onto that flower.

Purple is a good colour on him too. Saeran himself isn't quite so dressed up. Just a plain button up shirt and jacket with jeans. And a hat, since it's getting colder out.

Of course, he's wearing the collar. It was going to be obvious to anyone looking at them whose idea it was to go to the planetarium, but that just added to Saeyoung's charm.

"It does... every guy there is going to be jealous of me."

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung hooks his arm into his brother's.

"They should be," he responds cheerfully, "I'm out of this world."

///

Waiting in line at the planetarium, tickets in hand, Saeyoung points out a poster to his twin.

"That's the film they're going to play after the star tour. Nice link to our last date, right?"

The poster is for a short documentary that makes use of the planetarium's 180 degree screen, a tour of life on a coral reef. There's even a sea urchin on the poster, though not the same species as the one Saeran held before.

The short film was included in their ticket price, playing immediately after the guided tour of the night sky over Seoul.

Saeyoung bounces on his heels, swinging their hands, clearly barely able to hide his excitement for both shows.

**Saeran**

The very picture of an energetic and enthusiastic girlfriend. Saeran's excited too, mostly because they're on a _date_ , but the shows do look interesting.

More importantly, they were something Saeyoung wanted to share with him.

"Are you trying to impress me?"

All the carefully cultivated details pointed to 'yes'.

(No wonder he's so hyper.)

"You don't have to... I appreciate spending time with you anywhere."

Raising their hands to kiss the back of Saeyoung's, as Saeran predicted, they're drawing some jealous stares.

**Saeyoung**

"But when it comes to you, I want to show off ~"

Saeyoung is well into his role as girlfriend. Blushing cutely at Saeran's small display of affection. Touching the flower near his ear with his free hand, unthinkingly, just to confirm its still there.

"I had to hold back from telling you about it early. It just felt so right after the last date... when I saw the advertisement, I thought, ‘it's fate...’"

He hopes they can snag a good seat at the back so that there's even less reason to hold back from stealing a kiss... or two... or three... in the dark. They're near the front of line, so they have a good chance.

"...you're a little impressed, right?" Saeyoung wheedles playfully.

**Saeran**

"I'm very impressed." Saeran confirms, happy to go along with the flirtation. Probably disgusting people as a sappy couple.

Feels good. If the point is to show off, Saeran is happy to. For once in possession of something, some _one_ no one else could hope to have. Even better is seeing how Saeyoung's eyes sparkle with delight.

"But you know... nothing can be as wonderous as you."

Saeyoung wasn't the only one prepared with lines either.

**Saeyoung**

"O-oh...!"

The compliment sends him into a slightly flustered silence, still unused to hearing things like that from Saeran.

As they reach the ticket collector -

"Oh...! That hair, could you be...?"

It's Hwan, Yoosung's friend from the group date. This must be his part-time job.

Saeyoung looks down, feigning shyness, letting some fair fall in front of his face. At least he's not standing on Hwan's side. And he hasn't done himself up in the same wig as last time, so-

"Oh, guess you got shot down after that date thing, too..." Hwan comments to Saeran, not nearly quietly enough.

It's no wonder he's single, with tact like that.

But at least he thinks Saeran is with a different girl. If it got back to Yoosung that Saeran was with the girl from the group date, that could be…

…awkward.

Thankfully, Hwang can't hold them up long, given the other patrons behind them.

**Saeran**

"It's a wonder he's holding down that job." Saeran murmurs to Saeyoung as they make their way in.

A little peeved he couldn't enjoy Saeyoung's bashfulness for longer.

To anyone else, it looks like he's explaining the comment to a put-off date.

**Saeyoung**

Thankfully, two good things happen after this.

First of all, they get a seat in the back row, and the theatre isn't even that packed out, so they have empty seats either side of them. One or two other couples clearly have the same idea with the back row - but they're all spaced out, at least.

Appropriate, at a planetarium.

The second good thing is that Hwang is not the presenter, just the ticket collector - he doesn't come into the theatre at all.

Instead, out steps an older woman with a formidable jacket lined with glowing EL wire, a striking sight in the dimming lights.

The presenter welcomes everyone with well-rehearsed patter. The lights go completely dark now, the only light being the soft glow of the emergency exits, the presenter's jacket and control panel, and... slowly... one by one they appear.

The stars.

The Milky Way.

Just as it would appear overhead, if the city's light pollution didn't make all but the brightest difficult to view.

Saeyoung's hand finds Saeran's in the dark again, separated initially when they'd sat down.

His breathless anticipation is infectious. And slowly, as each star appears, soft music in the background sets a tone of wonder as well. [[Listen to the music we listened to during this RP here!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-0vYZIbPv4&feature=youtu.be)]

The presenter takes them through what they'd see in the sky directly above their heads this very evening, pointing out common constellations and sharing interesting things learned about different stars and space phenomena.

Saeyoung is wrapt, although the information is nothing new to him. It's the experience of being surrounded by the stars... with the one he loves at his side... that he's come here for.

(We might not marry at a space station... but we can kiss surrounded by the beauty of the entire galaxy... we can look at each other's faces bathed in starlight and skim over the pull of a black hole... we can travel light years together and never once stop holding hands.)

Saeran catches movement out of the corner of his eye, also transmitted through the hand on his.

Saeyoung can’t help but turn to look over at his twin.

Surrounded by the wonders of the galaxy, but, it's Saeran that he's staring at, eyes wide, not wanting to miss a single detail of his twin's face in the simulated starlight.

The universe sparkles in Saeyoung's eyes.

(Kiss me...?)

**Saeran**

Up in the mountains, Saeran had regularly seen stars like this. That didn't make them any less bewitching, and not for the first time he understands his brother's fascination with space.

Gazing up at the show, Saeran finds it both relaxing and educational - as much as he loved the sky, he didn't know much about it or the stories attached to the constellations. He appreciates taking the time to learn and sate his curiosity, some of it for questions he didn't know he even had.

The best part of all was that he could experience this with his lover. Moreso because it was _so_ special to Saeyoung.

No words are needed to know what comes next. He doesn’t even need their newly-discovered bond for that.

As soon as Saeyoung moves and Saeran senses the gaze on his face, he knows.

The corners of his mouth quirk up, and he turns towards Saeyoung, leaning in to brush their lips together gently. Somewhat teasing, making Saeyoung demand more if he wanted more.

(Like this, my love?)

**Saeyoung**

(Ah...)

On the one hand, he doesn't want to distract Saeran _too_ much, when there's literally a whole galaxy to explore around them.

On the other hand, this _is_ a date, and. He wants more. He wants to live out this fantasy of his.

He turns his body enough that he can bring his other hand to Saeran's cheek. A gentle pressure that communicates 'we're not done yet'.

Saeyoung presses his parted lips against his twin's more firmly, the scenery around them turning even darker as the presenter begins to talk about the formation of the universe.

"For centuries scientists thought the Universe always existed in a largely unchanged form, running like clockwork."

Saeran's lips easily accept his brother's demanding tongue.

"In 1929 astronomer Edwin Hubble discovered that the Universe isn’t static but is, in fact, expanding..." Saeyoung slides his hand from Saeran's cheek to his neck-

"If you rewound the Universe's life..."

\- the kiss deepening -

"...at some point it should have existed as one super-dense singularity."

Saeyoung can feel his twin's pulse increase under his thumb - matching his own, as always.

"A single point, containing everything that would ever exist - all the stuff that would later become galaxies, our solar system, you, and me."

(You...)

His hand trails down Saeran's chest, sliding a finger in the gap between buttons to stroke the skin there lightly as the rest if his hand presses Saeran back.

(...and me.)

The arm rest between their seats is a thorn in his side, separating them more than Saeyoung can stand.

(No one can see us right now...)

"Then, in a violent burst of energy, the singularity began to expand-" Saeyoung's frustration spurs him on, the universe not the only thing expanding right now.

He should stop...

But...

(Just... a little more...)

"tiny ripples of matter-"

And as the entire universe forms around them, Saeyoung runs his free hand down Saeran's chest, his side and finally along his thigh, first stroking down to his knee, but then he’s stroking back upwards, and, lightly, briefly, his fingers brush over Saeran’s…

"- stretched to enormous sizes during inflation, and in turn these became the seeds for the galaxies -"

It's clear that if they ever go stargazing outside together, they're going to want to do it with a lot of privacy. Saeyoung’s eyes aren’t just bright from starlight alone.

…he finally separates from his twin.

(Like that!) he concludes, smirking.

**Saeran**

Knowing Saeyoung, there was a long moment where Saeran was worried he wouldn't stop. That he's go as far as a, uh, 'big bang.'

Thankfully, his twin has some restraint - though he's left Saeran hopelessly breathless and hard.

Concentrating on the show... was going to be tough. Which was probably what Saeyoung was going for, space aesthetic aside.

Pointedly, Saeran takes the flower from Saeyoung's hair and twirls it in his fingers.

(Hidden. Remember?)

Making-out like this was fine. Leaving Saeran looking like a pervert at the end... not so much. And that's what was going to happen, if Saeyoung teased him too much. Eventually, they'll have to step out of the dark into the light. And it wasn't a good look to sport a boner in public, or to look thoroughly molested.

It'd definitely give Hwang something to talk about.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung has what he wanted. A passionate kiss in space - better yet, at the beginning of all time itself.

(It was meaningful... like the violet...)

And, maybe there's a little part of him that wanted to toy with Saeran a little, after being so vulnerable yesterday. Maybe.

And maybe Saeran holding back had played right into that impulse, bringing out Saeyoung's rebellious side. Maybe.

It had, perhaps. Gone a little far.

Maybe.

But they both have a whole hour left to recover yet.

(That was all...)

So.

The violet.

(Can I have it back...?)

**Saeran**

(Maybe.)

Saeran knows how meaningful the kiss was to Saeyoung, and he was also to blame for teasing his brother. Maybe.

What matters is his point has been made. They can go back to enjoying the show.

And having a little fun.

Saeran tucks the violet behind his own ear.

(I'll think about it.)

If Saeyoung was going to provoke him, he'll provoke a little in return. As long as it's kept harmless...

Maybe.

**Saeyoung**

Consider Saeyoung provoked.

Perhaps it's inevitable, being brothers, that they'd seek to push and pull each other like this. Especially being twins.

Saeyoung wants to push back... or pull in.

But, much like Saeran has pointed out, it wouldn't be a good idea.

And he _does_ want Saeran to get to enjoy the rest of the show.

So he exhales and settles back, doing his best not to stare at the prize now in his twin's hair.

Focus on the show.

...

...

...

He really wants it back.

"The Andromeda galaxy is named after the daughter of Cassiopeia-"

He tries to focus on the story.

"- boasting that Andromeda is more beautiful than the Nereids. So Poseidon sends the sea monster Cetus to ravage Andromeda as divine punishment."

(Divine punishment, huh...)

But he keeps his eyes on the screen, heart rate slowing once more.

**Saeran**

Maybe Saeran should give it back. Maybe it was too much.

Yesterday night was still fresh in both their minds, and he doesn't want to bring that into a fun date meant for Saeyoung.

The problem is that provoking his twin is second nature. Part of their dynamic was to bait one another. Otherwise Saeyoung wouldn't have escalated the kiss either.

Saeran breathes out with his twin, determined not to make it a big deal. He'll make up for it later if he must. Saeyoung was fine anyway, back to watching the show. Nevertheless, Saeran's anxious Saeyoung's a little upset and hiding it. So he reaches out to take his twin's hand, as a gesture of love and a small compromise.

If he was more honest with himself, it was also more for his sake than his brother's.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung squeezes the hand in his.

It's a comfort.

In fact...

...no one can complain if he takes a little more of this kind of comfort instead, right?

So, while the armrest is still a problem, he snuggles up to Saeran's side as best he can, resting his head on his twin's shoulder, finding instant relief there, his breaths immediately growing deeper and more relaxed.

They could provoke, but also... there was nothing quite like this...

**Saeran**

Cuddling up with each other, watching the sky...

Peace settles on Saeran's heart once again.

Sometimes it was easy to forget they could give each other this tranquillity too.

The show goes on, and Saeran does pay attention, but it's divided. The music and presenter has to compete with the beat of a serene heart.

And the feeling of long fingers entwined with his own.

(The whole universe in front of us, and you're still on my mind...)

Saeran flexes their fingers gently, like they're some sort of fidget toy.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung feels a kind of perfection he could never feel alone, with starlight, Saeran, and this gentle rhythmic beat of their hearts.

This is nice. And much needed, after last night.

His brain is still so full of so many unopened boxes, so many reactions and emotions that he still doesn't quite know how to handle.

But with Saeran beside him, and these gentle breaths...

(I can feel part of it all, when I'm connected to you.)

Part of some larger whole that doesn't have to strive or prove itself.

It just is.

The show wraps up, and they're left with five minutes of darkness as the presenter sets up the underwater surround-video documentary.

"Was it interesting?" Saeyoung asks, aloud. Though quietly. The room is filled with the murmur of other audience members chatting, too, while they wait for the next part.

**Saeran**

"Yeah." Saeran agrees, voice hushed to match their atmosphere. Both the physical and mental one.

"The presenter is good at her job."

Saeran always appreciated a decent storyteller, especially one who took facts and made them into magic. Honestly, Saeran couldn't ask for better. Except...

"You probably could give her a run for her money though."

It's fun to imagine Saeyoung leading the show, with his all his enthusiasm for space and stories. His twin would probably find a way to make it zany too.

**Saeyoung**

"That does sound fun," Saeyoung grins, "and I'm definitely eyeing off that jacket. I could imagine doing a job like that... maybe a couple days a week, at least."

If there's someone more suited to the concept of a ‘portfolio career’ than him, Saeyoung hasn't met them.

"I'd love to program some custom shows too... or convert footage like what we're about to see to play on a screen like this... license it to planetariums around the world."

Unlike his twin, who mostly learned about computers just to attempt to understand what had happened to Saeyoung... he genuinely loves programming. Though the amount of work he had at the Agency certainly helped crush that pleasure for a while.

"I have been thinking about work... or maybe more study... we have a lot of money saved, so... it doesn't matter if it doesn't pay a huge amount...”

He trails off. So many possibilities, so little time to talk. At least now.

**Saeran**

Saeran hasn't given much thought to the future.

Before they’d reunited, he’d focused too much on it, to the point of constant anxiety if plans went awry. Which is why currently, he's more intent on living in the now. Cherishing the time he has for once.

Nonetheless, thinking about all the things they want to do... Saeyoung makes it sound very attractive. Though Saeran has few good memories of working, there were days where he felt useless and unproductive and nothing better than a live-in maid... He sympathized with Saeyoung's ex-assistant a lot.

Perhaps if he focused on an interest, like how Zen had made his hobby his job, it may balance out?

But then there was the matter of losing your passion to work...

"There's a lot to think about... we should talk it through later." Saeran concedes.

**Saeyoung**

The next show isn't guided by the presenter, instead containing pre-recorded narration.

Unlike the star tour, which was fairly placid, it really makes use of camera panning and small visual tricks to help their brains create the sensation of physically moving through the water.

It's captivating in a different way to the guided show. Saeyoung isn't leaning on Saeran now, but sitting forward, enjoying the 'ride'.

Still holding his lover’s hand, of course.

He's particularly captivated by the jellyfish featured, which feed off nutrients created by chlorophyll-containing cells that live inside their bodies. A mutually beneficial relationship, as the jellyfish swim to follow the sun, so that the cells can excrete food for them to eat.

Animals that follow the light...

(So... _cool_!!!)

He wants to see them someday.

And a coral reef.

And whales...

**Saeran**

"Wow...!" Saeran breathes out, as the camera moves through a winding underwater cave, revealing a small forest of glowing seaweed. Just as awed.

It would be great if they could see all this in person, but right now the planetarium was a perfect substitute. Introducing worlds and creatures he barely knew.

The sight of Saeyoung so intent and engaged is equally compelling. Saeran catches a glimpse of his expression out of the corner of his eye, then can't look away. Captivated.

They kissed under the stars... why not under the sea, too? The narrator begins introducing the concept of luminescence, where fish living in the deepest and darkest parks of the sea have developed a survival mechanism to generate their own light…

And Saeran presses his nose to Saeyoung's cheek, leaving a sweet short kiss there.

**Saeyoung**

He'd been so focused on the glow and the spectacle of the strange deep-sea fish that Saeran's brief kiss comes as a complete surprise.

A welcome one, but, still. He sits upright, a small gasp on his lips, although the sound is lost in the music and narration as an angler fish attracts a smaller creature towards itself with the glow of its 'lantern'...

Saeyoung glances over at Saeran, and even in the darkness, as he's noticed before, it's almost like his eyes faintly glow with the light from the screens.

(I'll always be drawn towards you...)

The angler fish strikes, snapping up the smaller fish in one bite.

(...)

There are certainly some differences between Saeran and the fish.

For a start, Saeran is handsome...

Fanning himself slightly with the planetarium brochure that had been left on every seat, Saeyoung forces himself to turn his head and not just get lost looking at his twin again.

**Saeran**

(I can gobble you up too.) Saeran adds, picking up on the direction Saeyoung's thoughts were going and amused by how much a small kiss heated his twin.

If Saeyoung wants to concentrate on the show though, Saeran will be good and leave him be.

**Saeyoung**

It _is_ kinda funny how Saeyoung can pounce on Saeran one minute, then get flustered by the smallest attention from his twin the next. But, Saeyoung reflects, that's his style. Much easier for Saeyoung to attack than to defend.

He... he wants more, of course.

He can’t help but sneak a few more glimpses Saeran’s way, not quite able to focus on the film after the temptation of that kiss.

But, eventually his attention is captured again by what appears to be the final set piece of the film - an exploration of how animals have made their home in a shipwreck...

There's something about finding life, nature flourishing in something abandoned by humans, that holds a similar fascination to the potential mysteries in outer space.

(Beautiful...)

**Saeran**

For a few long moments Saeran is tempted to be a hypocrite and ravish Saeyoung in the dark, each glance Saeyoung gives him adding to the urge.

But so close to the end of the show would make that a problem and his earlier warning hollow. Resisting gets a little easier when the shipwreck comes on screen, Saeran just as interested in it. What sort of plants thrived in the ruins? What animals?

The narrator explains, but Saeran still wants to go and find out for himself. He's always had an interest in nature and doing things by hand, despite the aptitude for technology both twins have cultivated.

Who's to say that aptitude couldn't be used to discover more about the world, though? Saeyoung had a good point about making shows for the planetarium. It would make sense to apply their existing talents elsewhere... though he’s also happy to learn something completely new. Their father was a prominent and intelligent politician. Maybe... whatever they tried, it might come easier than it would for others. Saeran feels strange thinking that, when most of his life he'd been told he was only good for one or two things. When others compared him to Saeyoung and claimed he was just as much a genius, it was always uncomfortable, and felt false.

But... it's nice to think he can be. And with Saeyoung next to him, it feels more and more possible.

Who says they couldn't get a diving licence, or a biology degree, or anything like that?

Why couldn't this be reality, and not just a screen on the wall?

The show ends, and Saeran is left feeling inspired.

**Saeyoung**

As the lights come up, Saeyoung leans over to check whether he smudged any lipstick on his twin. Saeran had been concerned about looking too pervy, after all.

Surprisingly - he's good. Really was worth investing in that high-quality waterproof lipstick, even if it was a pain to remove later.

He opens his phone camera to check his own face, and the neat line of his lips _has_ been a little smudged, so he quickly touches up with a lip pencil as people begin to stand up and stretch.

"We're good," Saeyoung confirms, eyes flicking up to his twin's hair and the violet.

Then he smiles brightly, warming inside at seeing his brother look so energetic.

"You liked it?" He asks, standing and smoothing the fabric of his dress.

**Saeran**

Saeran stands alongside Saeyoung, catching his twin's hand once he finished adjusting his dress and ready to escort him out.

"Yeah... it was really cool!" he enthuses, excited in a childish way he usually keeps under wraps. Saeyoung chose a great date spot. It's really too bad the show is over. Saeran can't stop thinking about it.

"That shipwreck at the end was the best. Imagine being someone who got to do that as a job..."

He rambles for a bit as they move out of the planetarium. In the foyer, even Hwang looks surprised to see Saeran so animated - and he barely knows Saeran at all!

It's easy to forget yourself and lose control of your emotions when with someone you love, talking about something you love.

Saeran only stops when a chill wind hits them suddenly on the street. "Ah - oh. Are you cold? We could go to a cafe now..."

It feels far too early to end their date. Not when they've been having such a good time.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung has been listening to Saeran talk in adoring silence - cheering inside at how much his twin had enjoyed his choice of date.

It's the kind of thing his younger self had only dreamed of doing with his brother. Even without the romance. Saeran always should have been able to experience these things... to move freely in the world.

(Now, we can experience all this and more... together.)

He leans into Saeran, enjoying his warmth, and the excuse to snuggle up.

"That's a great idea... I don't want to go home yet..."

His voice is full of delight. "I really like being out here with you... doing things like this..."

**Saeran**

"Me too. Thank you for taking me out."

Saeran's cheeks are pink, and his smile shy, "Oh, but... sorry if I got overenthusiastic... I'm really happy just quietly spending time with you too."

Now he's stopped hyper-focusing, Saeran's feeling a tad self-conscious. "Or listening to you talk, too... how did you find the show?"

Deflecting attention back to his twin, Saeran wraps an arm around his shoulders, rubbing his hand gently up and down Saeyoung's arm to keep him close and warm as they walk.

He keeps his eyes open for an ideal cafe. Basically: one that’s not too crowded, with comfortable seating and relatively private spaces.

On a cold day like this after a show let out, it was more difficult to find than one might hope. Getting a chance to walk with Saeyoung like this... wasn't bad though.

**Saeyoung**

"Aww, but I love hearing your enthusiasm!" Saeyoung responds, voice both excited and adoring. "Your eyes are so beautiful when you're... it… it makes me happy, too. I want to hear all your thoughts."

Which, given their unusual link, isn't as much hyperbole as it might be for other couples. His heart skips at the feeling of Saeran's hand warming his arm. It's such a caring gesture... so thoughtful...

(I want to give him the world... and the stars...)

As they walk, he shares a few of his own favourite moments, too, many overlapping with Saeran's, but with his own unique take.

"I can't stop thinking about those jellyfish that follow the sun," Saeyoung adds. "Jellyfish are so fascinating... so simple, but they do some amazing things... and they're just... cute... so pretty... so round..."

He looks over to Saeran. "We should definitely go to an aquarium sometime... one of these flyers I picked up talks about it... they have upside-down jellyfish... and moon jellyfish... Oh!!!" He almost stops walking, so surprised at himself for now mentioning it earlier. "And you can pat cuttlefish and stingrays!"

He grins. "Cuttlefish change colour based in their environment and mood... I bet... if you patted one... it'd change to the colour of L O V E "

**Saeran**

The compliments make Saeran glance away, flushed, and wondering what exactly Saeyoung liked about his eyes now they were so... different.

Thankfully he isn't given a chance to dwell, Saeyoung moving on to chat eagerly about his own take on the show.

In Saeran's opinion, Saeyoung's enthusiasm is very cute. Way cuter than his.

Though Saeyoung's 'fact' about the cuttlefish makes him roll his eyes a bit, as he guides them to a cafe that seems just about perfect.

"'Love', huh... you forget no one can love me as much as you do."

It's a stupid, sappy thing to say. But Saeran's feelings are running high enough for him to indulge in it.  He even holds open the door to the cafe for Saeyoung chivalrously.

**Saeyoung**

"O-oh..." Saeyoung stutters, still entirely unused to such open affection from anyone, let alone the person he values more than anyone else in the world. "S-see? You even made me change colour..."

He might be continuing the joke, but also, he's not lying. Despite the cool air, his cheeks are suddenly very warm...

Flustered, Saeyoung steps into the cafe, Saeran following behind him.


	9. My princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins enjoy their cafe date - and then are surprised by a mysterious sound echoing through the city.

**Saeyoung**

The smell of baking sweets immediately washes over the twins as they enter the café.

It seems to specialise in cakes, sweets, crepes and... tall stacks of ice-cream and doughnuts in jars.

The walls are a combination of pinboards and chalkboards, covered in cute drawings signed by both staff and patrons.

And, importantly, the factor that had drawn Saeran in from the outside:  it’s not crowded. There are several vacant booths with a decent amount of privacy along the back wall.

Saeyoung’s voice rises a little, impressed. "Wow... you picked a nice place..."

**Saeran**

Saeran didn't expect it to be this nice either.

Maybe he had smelled the sweetness from far away and walked here automatically... not able to register it while distracted by the sweet thing in front of him; his brother adorable in his bashfulness.

A silly thought, that leaves Saeran smiling.

Though he might be smiling at all the goodies on display too.

"Honestly, I just wanted to get you somewhere warm... but this was a good find."

**Saeyoung**

"Wanna share something interesting?" Saeyoung asks, re-attaching himself to Saeran's arm despite the warm interior.

(The best warmth is you...)

His eyes look down the menu on display in front of them, noticing a few interesting dishes that seemed entirely aimed at couples and groups, given they’re all shown with at least two spoons.

Sharing something with Saeran... especially if it was something designed to be shared with a lover...

He... really wants to try it...

**Saeran**

Saeran's eyes follow the direction of his twin's gaze and he smiles. With Saeyoung clinging to his arm, they were already playing up the couple aspect... why not do it more?

He... really… _really_ wants to do it more...

If it makes Saeyoung happy too, all the better. "Sure. I've never tried anything like that before."

...a lie, when he thinks about it. He and Saeyoung have definitely 'shared' food before, and the reminder makes him blush.

"...l-let's go sit in a booth and decide?"

**Saeyoung**

They grab two menus, all with beautiful photographs of their options.

Saeran, again, gives his date the chance to slip into the booth's seats first, chivalry still going strong.

It reminds Saeyoung of the group date... he'd slid up next to Saeran in a booth then, too... it had taken all his self-control to keep his hands off his twin.

He doesn't have to be quite so discreet with his affection this time.

This is the first proper date he's been able to go on playing as a woman with Saeran, after all... And. Having Saeran treat him like a boyfriend would his cute girlfriend makes him feel. Well.

Energetic.

But he wants to do a perfect job in this role. Only the best for Saeran.

It wouldn't be right if they didn't end the night having turned a few jealous heads, right?

He's not aware he's already managed to do that, back at the planetarium. So wrapped up in being with his twin that other people have all been less than NPCs to him... just background art, there to offset Saeran...

...his handsome, caring, smart boyfriend.

...who he looks up at with sparkles in his eyes, so pleased to be out in public like this as a couple.

**Saeran**

He sits across from his twin in the booth. Saeran wants to be able to easily look at Saeyoung, both to talk to him and admire how lovely he is.

Such as the way he's looking at Saeran right now.

He can understand why Saeyoung had behaved so tenderly when it was Saeran playing the role of the girlfriend. There was something about being allowed to treat your significant other preciously... (I'd treat him like that all the time if I could.)

... why not?

For a moment, that stumps Saeran, and he picks up his menu blankly.

True, some of what he had been doing was because it felt like the proper thing to do in the context of a date... but... why not elsewhere? Aside from the fact that they were twin brothers who couldn't show affection like this in public unless disguised.

Was that fact making him hold back unconsciously when they're alone...?

Saeran mulls over it, up until a waitress comes over to ask for their drinks. "Tea, please." Saeran responds automatically. Too much caffeine or sugar made him feel sick, "Earl grey is fine. Ah, and what about you..."

He stutters slightly on Saeyoung's name, and his honorifics.

"... my princess?"

Maybe over the top, but worth it for the blush.

**Saeyoung**

Saeran gets a lot more than just a blush. The makeup helps hide it a little, but Saeyoung... goes extremely red.

Getting referred to as a "princess"…

...in a chatroom, he would have spammed the entire screen with keyboard smashes.

...here, he kinda wants to hide under the table and scream "eeeeeeee" into his hands for... a little while.

Maybe the rest of his life? For a start.

He wants to hear it more...

But before he can hear Saeran talk like that more, he has to answer the question.

"I..."

He at least manages to summon his feminine voice, practiced over many years, the same voice he used as Lulu. Sweet and cute and, at the moment, rather breathless too.

"I, uh..."

His mind has gone totally blank. He wants to order something super stereotypically girly, really play his role to the max, but he's completely, completely blank.

(p.................princess.............)

"I'll have the s-same," he manages, the refuge of every diner when suddenly put on the spot about their order and instantaneously forgetting whatever it was they'd decided on a minute earlier.

**Saeran**

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Someone really liked that.

Considering how much Saeran liked thinking of himself as a princess too, he shouldn't be surprised...

The waitress seems both queasy and envious at the display, quickly noting down the order and running off.

"Such refined tastes." Saeran mutters, playing off the princess idea more, "I'm surprised you didn't go for the soda."

PHD Pepper is _right there_ on the menu.

**Saeyoung**

With the long false eyelashes he's currently wearing, Saeyoung's embarrassed glance down at his hands is only more exaggerated.

"Uhhh..." he replies, pretending to inspect his nails, rubbing the top of one with the thumb of his other hand. "I..."

There's not much point in playing coy when Saeran so clearly can see what caused his twin to order like that, and yet...

...he still gives a shaky excuse all the same.

"I just thought... I'd try... something you liked..."

He's _really_ feeling this.

Even knowing his twin like he does... Saeran still can come out with things that just...

...make his knees go weak.

In several different ways.

Saeyoung risks a glance up, and immediately regrets it, because Saeran's eyes are shining as brightly as that lantern fish in the planetarium show, and looking away is both impossible and...

He can practically feel his heart in his throat.

(He's so. Gorgeous. And... like a prince... and I...)

His lips have parted in his giddiness, and he realises what kind of a face he must be pulling right now, staring up at Saeran like he's seen a miracle. So he _finally_ manages to drag his gaze back down to the menu and close his mouth.

Looking away from Saeran _hurts_.

"I... it'll make it easier for them in the kitchen too..." he mumbles, and, well, he's not _wrong_.

**Saeran**

No one ever looks at Saeran like Saeyoung does.

Saeran only hopes that he looks at Saeyoung the same way. Full of marvel for the preciousness of the person in front of them. Thrilled by their every action or word.

No one deserved to be looked at like that more than his twin. Of course, Saeran would rather he was the only one who could look at Saeyoung like that too. And hopes he's the only one that Saeyoung sees that way.

Which makes Saeyoung looking away a blow, despite how cute his twin was about it. Obviously overcome. Saeran takes pity.

"You know... On our date you made me feel like a princess too," he admits. "It was... for the first time, I felt like I could be attractive... and special..."

(...In a way that wasn't connected to us being related.)

"I want you to feel the same with me."

Finally, Saeran plucks the flower from his ear and tucks it into the hair of Saeyoung's bent head.

He was meaning to give it back, but never felt the right time. Until now.

"You're so precious... strong and noble. Though I called you that on impulse... I mean it."

**Saeyoung**

He feels Saeran's touch on his hair - (u-urge to 'eeeeee' intensifying) - and the light incidental touch he feels on his ear makes him squeeze his eyes shut for a second because it just makes him _feel_ so much.

With just the smallest touch!

This is an entirely new kind of spell.

He raises his hand to confirm his suspicions and -

(a-ah...)

(it's back...)

Saeran's words sink in slowly... his honesty tugging at Saeyoung's heart.

(Next time... next time I'll make him feel twice as good! Three times! A million!)

Saeran deserves it.

(He deserves to feel like the irreplaceable treasure, the unique and beautiful person that he is... precious and far more noble than any royalty...)

(...you are also...)

(...my princess...)

(...my angel...)

He's not sure his heart can take it, but he looks back up, eyes so full of stars he's putting the earlier show to shame.

"You think so...?" he asks softly, in response to Saeran's last statement.

"You mean it...?"

(Of course, of course he means it. He wouldn't say it if he...)

It's just. So surprising to hear.

**Saeran**

"Always and forever."

It can't get any more heartfelt than that.

Saeran wants to hold him...

His princess...

Hands occupied with the menu, and soon with drinks and food, Saeran knocks his feet gently against Saeyoung's instead. Maintaining that little bit of contact. Nonetheless, Saeyoung seems to be in some sort of shock. Overwhelmed in spite of Saeran's best efforts to reassure him...

(Can there be such a thing as too much love?)

... Possibly. Saeran's experienced his own share of heart attacks while dating his twin. In that case, he should scale it back. Maybe give Saeyoung something else to think about.

"If you don't want me to call you that, I could use 'noona' instead."

Honestly, it's what Saeran should have used in the first place when stuck without a way to refer to his twin. It's the closest approximation to 'hyung' and 'oppa' after all.

(Reasonable enough.)

"Okay...? So, you should pick what you want to eat before the waitress returns... noona. I'll share whatever you want."

**Saeyoung**

(But!)

"Aah...!" Saeyoung interjects, awkwardly. "But, I..."

His hand reaches out to touch the back of one of Saeran's wrists, lightly, as his twin holds his menu.

"I like... princess... the most..."

He pulls his hand away, and buries his face in his hands for a second. "I can't believe I just said that..." he mutters between his fingers. "Haaah..."

He slides his fingers down a little so that he can look at Saeran over the top of them. "I mean... you don't have to... and maybe it's better not to in front of others... they might think... uh..."

That they were dating?

That they were in love?

That Saeran was the sweetest boyfriend a girl (...anyone...) could ask for?

(But those are all true...)

"Ah," he continues, dropping his hands to his copy of the menu, "I'm talking nonsense, I'll just... look... at our options..." If anyone else had called him that, he'd probably have just hammed it up, and laughed.

If that person had been Jumin, Zen, or Yoosung, he would have laughed so hard he'd have _cried_.

But when Saeran said it...

He’s weak.

But. At least he has something to distract himself with after that outburst.

The pictures on the menu are enticing... both the photographer and the chef have outdone themselves.

There's a lot of interesting choices, but one colourful option does stick in his mind after flipping through all the share plates...

"Maybe this one?"

It's a large shaved ice dish, half strawberry, half mango. While it's cool outside, in here the temperature is pleasant enough for something like this.

Plus, he likes the half-and-half look... although as for which twin was strawberry and which was mango... for this metaphor...

(Hmm. Saeran makes me think of strawberries, if I had to pick...)

"Although they do something similar as a crepe or a brownie with scoops to one side if you want something warmer."

**Saeran**

It's nice to see Saeyoung so flustered, and not just because Saeran has a sadistic streak.

(Do I really affect you this much...?)

Seeing is believing. It's bit vindicating and validating to know that Saeran isn't the only one who gets overwhelmed like this.

Though, from the way Saeyoung talks… he’s still craving more affection from Saeran than he receives.

That thought haunts Saeran still. He doesn't want to come off as too intense, due to previous experiences. But he doesn't want Saeyoung to feel neglected either. It's frustrating, not knowing where to draw the line. What is too much or too little.

Even now, Saeyoung obviously wants more, but. It seems like he’s unable to handle too much affection despite craving it.

Rather than exacerbate his twin further, Saeran considers their food options...

...Everything sounded good.

"Let's get that _and_ a brownie. It's a date! We can treat ourselves."

With this they can have it all, at least.

Just on time, the waitress returns with their tea. Saeran goes ahead and places the order, before turning back to Saeyoung.

Maybe a little more affection wouldn’t hurt.

Just a little.

So, he adds, "A princess should be pampered too, right?"

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung nods, risking a small smile up at his brother. "Mmhm!"

Saeran's trying hard to make him happy.

Saeyoung wants to try harder too. And not... be a complete mess just because he's being treated like a p... like... royalty.

Balancing letting himself feel things fully, and also functioning...

It was easier when he'd disassociated from nearly everything strong he could have been feeling. And used other things (generally material) to numb the emotions when they crept in.

Only Saeran has the direct line to tap into his heart like this.

He glances down at the tray between them. The teapot has a handy glass window to make it easy to judge when it's done brewing. He’s not sure how dark the water is meant to get.

"Do you think it's ready yet?"

He looks back to Saeran, whose hands, he realises, are no longer busy with a menu.

So he combines his question with a touch, gently resting his fingers over the top of one of Saeran’s hands where it rests on the table.

**Saeran**

At the touch, Saeran turns his hand palm up so that he might gently clasp his twin's fingers in return.

Funny, how the question could be applied their own problems.

(When will we be ready?)

It's a mystery.

But until then Saeran is happy to handhold as much as necessary. The same could be said for the time it takes for the tea to brew.

"It only needs a minute."

So, a few more seconds. But a few seconds of handholding is all Saeran needs to be happy anyway.

**Saeyoung**

(Ah… I love him. I love him!)

Little gestures like that mean as much to Saeyoung as anything else Saeran could do.

Although it’s a shame the tea doesn’t need to brew a little longer…

He releases Saeran’s hand, to pour for them both.

If he wants to continue to be treated like royalty, then he should act like it, too.

So. Time to practice. Look for a happy middle ground.

He looks over at Saeran from under his lashes. “It has a nice aroma. I can see why you like this one.”

The steam rising from both cups curls up into the air between them. “The tea you made yesterday was good, too… you really do have a refined taste.”

Returning Saeran’s earlier, teasing words, but he means them.

The adult Saeran did have a natural elegance… as a child, it hadn’t been so obvious. Back then, Saeran had always been struggling, not out of any lack of intelligence or ability, just lack of access to education.

But now... he'd more than bridged that gap. Something he cultivated in himself after Saeyoung had left. Something Saeyoung deeply admired. 

**Saeran**

Saeran never expected to be called refined himself. He knows Saeyoung is teasing him, but...

Still a surprise.

To him, the tea really was just a matter of taste than putting on airs.

(... Rika liked doing that.)

Maybe it was her influence. Remnants of a need to please which made Saeran develop a preference for tea.

... It's strange to think about. He's just gotten used to thinking of her as a bad influence, but there were harmless things he enjoys that likely comes from her too.

Picnics in the garden... Softly brushing hair...

Placing importance on appearance...

Using your words...

All these other things come to mind.

"Hmm."

She... Wasn't all bad. That's what made Rika so powerful. She could connect with anyone, over almost anything.

Saeran shouldn't think too hard about it. In the end, he was who he was, and has created his own identity for himself.

He just... has to remember that. His tastes were still his own. But that didn't make him into a prince, or even a butler (which Rika was clearly going for.)

Though the same could be said for Saeyoung and being a princess.

Maybe what defined them was their flexibility, and how they could fill many roles, but it's not the whole of them. "I think..." he says slowly, after a long sip, "That I just like tea. You know soda upsets my stomach. And caffeine... I need to have less of that too."

For one thing, coffee is too bitter most if the time. For another, Saeran's developed a nasty dependence on the pills.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung had treated his own body roughly ever since he left to become an agent. Caffeine, sugar, days without rest – though never alcohol or drugs, thanks to their mother.

He never expected to live long, so why not burn bright and then fade away? Like fireworks. That’s how he’d always thought about it.

He's been making more of an effort since Saeran returned. And now. Now that they have the option of growing old together…

“I should learn from your example,” he admits, softly. “I want to look after myself better. Now that I want to…”

‘Now that I want to live’ is a kind of depressing thing to say, true though it might be.

“…to spend as much time as possible in the world with you.”

Also true.

“I’m glad you listen to your body like that.”

Which makes him think… Rather than exercising indoors like he mostly does now, perhaps that could be something they did together. In a way that could be fun, too.

“Would you…”

How to phrase it?

“…like to maybe. Learn to swim with me? We could do it privately, and… it’d be good exercise for us both… and maybe one day we could build on that and explore a shipwreck for real.”

He even has the perfect place in mind to train. If Jumin was amenable to it. And then if Saeran enjoyed it, and kept going, they could celebrate at… that place.

Again. If Jumin would get on board. But Saeyoung suspects he would be. Especially if MC helps.

**Saeran**

It wasn't as if they both hadn't started to treat their bodies better. Despite his sugary preferences, Saeran had a knack for cooking them healthy meals, which Saeyoung would actually eat over junk food.

That might be more because it was made with love than anything though. Nonetheless, there was no denying that Saeran was likely always going to be on the thin side no matter how well he ate. Years of malnutrition had a cost.

At least he wasn't just skin and bone anymore though.

And he no longer thought he was destined to die young. Not so coincidentally, for the same reasons as Saeyoung. The realization makes smile, despite how morbid it is.

If they could combine that desire to live longer with each other with wanting to experience as much as possible...

"Yeah. I'd like that a lot!" There was no way Saeran could answer otherwise.

**Saeyoung**

The easy way Saeran agrees has Saeyoung break into a grin.

“Then, it’s a promise~” he responds happily. “I’ll set things up with Jumin as soon as possible! He never uses his rooftop pool anyway… and it’s heated…” (And I can disable the CCTV camera up there just before we go in, so we’ll have the entire place to ourselves… no one breathing down our necks or to make Saeran feel self-conscious…) He places the teacup to one side, getting more excited about the idea. He holds up a finger. “First, floating. Then, hmmm. Kicking. Then…"

He gets that familiar, playful look in his eye again.

 "...wrestling a submarine into submission~ Speaking with mermaids~ The basics.”

**Saeran**

"The basics." Saeran agrees dryly. Tactfully (or intelligently) not bringing up Saeyoung's mermaid cosplay.

(How hard could swimming be, anyway? People manage it all the time.)

The biggest challenge would be getting... Distracted...

"No wrestling anything else, right?" The timing of the waitress is perfect. Not knowing the context, her expression is both dubious and perplexed. Not completely certain she's hearing what she thinks she is.

Saeran stifles a laugh as she serves them their desserts with a determined ignorance.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung looks mock-offended, deterred not in the slightest by their brief audience. However, he briefly forgets he’s meant to be playing the older half of this couple. "Oppa, I'd never! Alligators are for experts only! Squid-belt or above!"

The shaved ice dessert is huge. The brownie was particularly generous for the price, too.

What to start with... The shaved ice would probably melt faster than the brownie would cool… and it wasn’t nearly as big as it seemed – a lot of it was air. Even a huge spoonful would compress down to a small mouthful in a second, like fairy floss.

The strawberry side is facing Saeyoung.

He looks down at it, then looks back up at Saeran, a Perfectly Innocent smile on his face.

“Would you like a strawberry?” he asks, sweetly.

**Saeran**

(O...oppa...)

Saeran was expecting that word to be used at some point, but Saeyoung pulling it out so suddenly was unfair. His heart wasn't prepared!!

Not that he didn't deserve it.

Slumping back into his seat, Saeran tugs his hat down a bit. Embarrassed. "Can't be your oppa if you're my noona..." he manages to mutter, in futility.

(Talk about just desserts.)

Indeed, the desserts look amazing. Keeping Saeran from sinking under the table completely.

He's hooked, and on Saeyoung's line at that at the mention of a strawberry. It's the perfect bait.

"Ah... yeah, please."

**Saeran**

“Hmmm,” Saeyoung responds, only within Saeran’s earshot. Innocent smile being coloured with a smirk. “That’s true. And being your ‘older sister’ has a distinct appeal of its own~ I should think about how to play with that more later~”

His eyes sparkle. “Then let noona spoil you, too…” There’s a few ways he could go about this, but Saeran’s already melting faster than the ice, so probably better to keep it simple.

Besides. He’s a princess.

Though perhaps more of the Machiavellian kind right now.

Saeyoung seeks out the nicest-looking strawberry with his spoon, then holds it out to Saeran. “This one looks good~♪ I picked it out just for you, so I hope you like it!”

**Saeran**

... Saeran is hardly about to refuse. He agreed to sharing food knowing full well this might be what happens.

Saeyoung picking it out just for him is only the cherry on top. Or in this case, the strawberry.

Still a bit shy, but very willing to play, Saeran accepts it silently - lips delicately enveloping the spoon, slowly dragging the strawberry off it in an effort not to make a show... and failing utterly. As soon as the flavour hits Saeran's tongue, his expression turns blissful, and he glances up at Saeyoung through thick eyelashes to gauge his reaction. It's incredibly coquettish.

Once the whole strawberry is in Saeran's mouth he leans back, finishing the fruit quickly with a lick of his lips.

"Thank you, noona."

**Saeyoung**

(HHh…)

Well.

That was a moment he’d have to commit to memory. Something Saeyoung was quite good at, both as a natural skill and something he’d trained in for the agency.

…and he’s going to play it back in his head a few more times in future, he can tell already.

 “Hehe…” He lowers the spoon only a little after it’s freed from his brother’s lips, still leaning forward. “So polite…”

Then he leans back, and uses the same spoon to scoop a little of the dessert for himself. (O-oh… for shaved ice, it’s so creamy…)

“I’ll have to reward you for being so polite… here, try the ice, too…”

He scoops some up and holds it out to his twin. He wants to see that face again…

**Saeran**

The next look Saeyoung gets is a knowing one. But Saeran obliges, humming happily at the taste of the ice, creaminess lingering on his tongue as well as the strong strawberry flavour.

It stains his lips red, and when he pulls his mouth off the spoon next his tongue glistens.

When he settles back, Saeran picks up his own spoon and gestures towards the ice.

"Did you want to try the mango?"

Fair's fair!

**Saeyoung**

"Yes, please..." Saeyoung responds, not looking away from Saeran's mouth.

He...

...is so...

...

He definitely needs to cool down.

**Saeran**

The ice should help with that.

Saeran scoops up some of it and a piece of mango to boot, holding it out with as much care as Saeyoung did it. Not caring how feminine it might look.

**Saeyoung**

Leaning forward again, Saeyoung takes the spoon into his mouth, pausing for barely a second to look back up at Saeran briefly from under his perfectly-curled eyelashes, just before he begins to pull back.

(Hmm~ Nostalgic~ Even though you’re not filming me this time…)

The texture of the mango is just as delightful as the shaved ice. Saeyoung swallows it down easily, just a trace left on his lips, making them shine wetly in the light of the lamp hanging over their booth.

“It’s good…”

**Saeran**

(Don't kiss him in a public cafe.)

(If you do... you won't stop.)

Saeran swallows even before spooning up some more of the mango pieces, trying it out for himself this time.

"We should finish it before it melts," he suggests, partly because it's true, partly because... if they linger, they may well wind up making out very publicly.

Saeran's surprised by couples that can apparently last feeding each other without being overcome by passion...

Or maybe that's just their problem. Too many uncontrollable feelings.

**Saeyoung**

They're of one mind. Saeyoung can feel his willpower ebbing away with every spoonful, and he wants to play a good princess...

For now, at least.

“Yeah… good idea.”

The ice really _is_ a lot of air, and it’s so easy to eat, even with the cold… it doesn’t take them long to work through it, and then start on the brownie, which is still pleasingly warm, but not so much that it’s a shock after the cold dessert.

A good thing they ordered both, because while the ice is delicious, it doesn’t really register in the stomach. The brownie is much more substantial.

Finally, there’s just two empty plates, some cutlery, and a fuller, just-as-cute couple gazing at each other over the table.

“Shall we pay and go…?”

**Saeran**

"Did you read my mind?" Saeran teases, though it's a very real possibility.

Standing up, Saeran indicates to the waitress they're ready to pay the bill, as he takes out his wallet. It's meaningless for him to pay, considering...

But...

It's a nice gesture. Appropriate.

**Saeyoung**

Saeyoung slips his hand back into his brother's as soon as they exit the cafe.

"That was fun," he murmurs, leaning into his twin's body as they walk. He can't get the image of Saeran's lips and that spoon out of his mind... not that he wants to. "I got to see something good."

The air is even colder now, but Saeyoung barely notices it.

What he does notice...

Is the sound of...

"Wh...whales?"

Over the top of a building a few streets away, blue lights glow eerily.

And in that direction...

...whale song.

Saeyoung slows to a halt.

"Saeran..."

"You hear it too, right? Over there..."

**Saeran**

Saeran's eyes are big and bright. He definitely hears it too.

"In the city...?"

... he's curious. So, so curious. Enough to forget about going home for now, and take a detour.

"Let's go check it out~?" He wheedles, voice melodious in his excitement.

**Saeran**

"I was gonna drag you along with me anyway, haha," Saeyoung grins, already changing direction.

What could it _be_?

He's just as excited as Saeran, and - "Doesn't it feel like a special signal just for us...?"

Of course, there's no way, but...

...he feels a thrill in his entire body at the thought.

They navigate closer to the song and the blue light, until finally...

"Oh...!" Saeyoung breathes, looking up, completely enchanted.

Ahead, against a government building and a tunnel down to a mall... play projections of the ocean... Video footage of whales and other ocean creatures move across the buildings with shimmers of light. Unseen speakers play whale song and ambient ocean sounds, which carry over the familiar noise of the city streets.

"It's beautiful..."

**Saeran**

Saeran squeezes his twin’s hand, equally bewitched by the sight.

This sort of coincidence... is so out-of-this-world, it could only be called...

"... this has to be fate."

They were meant to go out today. To see the show at the planetarium, to talk about their futures... To eat at the cafe, discuss learning to swim... then at just the right time, hear the whale song echo through city streets.

(It _has to_ be a sign.)

Most of Saeran's experience with religion has focused on pain and sin, and concerned with the final destiny of the soul... Now, he's starting to believe that there's no need to be so preoccupied with an ultimate end, when it's clear that God must be working in mysterious ways through them right now. Truly guiding them like a loving and understanding father.

He...

He wants to pray.

**Saeyoung**

"Were we meant to wind up here, all along...?" Saeyoung breathes, getting carried away with the magic of it all.

He's never been sure what his view is on a deterministic universe. Sometimes it was a comfort to think God had a plan... other times, so frustrating to think about he wants to scream.

 _Has_ screamed, in the past.

His prayers haven't always been peaceful ones.

His life hasn't exactly been that, either.

But to wind up here... feels like someone has pulled back a long bow some time ago...

(...is this the target?)

(a blessing?)

He doesn't know.

But right now, he wants to believe...

...in a benevolent universe.

He wraps his free arm around Saeran, leaning into his side, head turned to continue to watch the lights.

(Warm...)

(And magical)

(We're being blessed... that's what I'll believe...)

**Saeran**

(A blessing...) Saeran's thoughts echo. Every part of him in tune with Saeyoung in this very moment. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.

He leans back against Saeyoung and grips his hand.

(I thought... it was a miracle you found me again.)

It hadn't been a nice thought at the time, founded more on angry incredulity. Later on, Saeran started to see in in a better light.

(Then I thought I was blessed to be by your side...)

Something he still thought every day, in constant awe.

Looking up at the projections...

Saeran feels a similar reverence. Whoever or whatever made this possible for them both, he's thankful.

(It all makes me want to believe too.)

But...

He turns to look at Saeyoung. Wondering at his twin's own loveliness, that went beyond the physical.

(Except... I already have something far more divine.)

Saeran didn't need a well-timed light show to appreciate what he already has. Nor does he need the universe's approval, as nice as it is.

Cursed or consecrated, fate or free will... none of it matters but Saeyoung.

**Saeyoung**

Wings, unfolding...

He can feel them in his heart. And Saeran's arms... feel like...

(That you're here with me...)

Saeyoung turns his head, realising just how cold his nose has grown as he presses his face against Saeran's shoulder a moment, reminding himself of his twin's familiar scent.

(...that's already the greatest blessing the universe could have bestowed on me already...)

But Saeran has the power to grant the most powerful gift. And pulling back to look into Saeran's eyes... hearing his brother's voice in his heart... He has that, too.

(My heart.)

He leans in to press his lips against Saeran's softly.

Saeyoung's are...

...really, really cold.

**Saeran**

 As romantic as this all is... that won't do at all.

Saeran kisses his twin back lightly, just enough to warm his lips, while unzipping his jacket then gently pulling Saeyoung closer so he can envelop him. The combined body warmth and layers hopefully enough. "You're freezing..." he murmurs, face still extraordinarily close. "We should think about going home."

They could have a moment cuddling up to each other though, surely.

**Saeyoung**

It's better than angel wings. Just as comforting and soft as he imagines they'd be, but warm, and importantly...

... he's overwhelmed with that familiar scent, which warms him from the inside out. All the muscles tensed with cold relaxing into his brother's embrace. "Hmmmm..." Saeyoung replies softly, lips tingling from the renewed heat and the feeling coursing through him from these lights and the sounds and his brother's embrace.

"Five more minutes?" he says, wrapping both arms around Saeran's waist to seal in the heat.

**Saeran**

Laughing softly, Saeran obliges.

(Anything for you... Princess.)

He's more than happy to hold Saeyoung in his arms a little longer anyway. Soaking in their embrace, the night...

It's perfect.

Saeran wishes from the bottom of his heart that they'll always be this happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the time you read this, the first chapter of the next plot arc will be online. In fact, look! Here it is! [The RFA gets spooky](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16345457/chapters/38243819) \- the RFA hosts a halloween-themed movie night!
> 
> Thank you for reading, as always~


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